One of those ridiculous mememe’s that are doing the rounds on blogs:
A - Available: certainly not, how rude.
A - Age: 29
A - Annoyance: rudeness in other people (I don’t mind it in me!)
B - Best Friend: The Rats and extended rat family
B - Bar: don’t really ‘do’ bars, certainly don’t have a favourite.
B - Birthday: March 7th
C - Crush: Gosh, there are so many where should I start? Howard T J Moon (AKA Julian Barrett) is my current paramour, Matt Willis, Christopher Walken, Carl Barrett, Brendan Fraser, Johnny Depp, Robin Ince, Stewart Lee, Nicky Wire, Jack White, Cillian Murphy, should I stop yet. I adore looking at a beautiful man. It’s all in the eyes…that knowing sparkle!
C - Car: none, although I have been thinking that I should retry my driving test again soon. The idea of being able to escape is currently very appealing.
C - Cat: none but I’d love some, I currently have my online kitten to your right and I have soft toy that I’ve fallen in love with…
D - Dead Pet’s Name: Cats – puzzle, zebadee. Hamster – too many to mention!
D - Dad’s name: Lee
D - Dog: none, boyf would like a Jack Russell though. Not too sure – I’d quite like a labradoodle just so I could laugh at it!
E - Easiest person to talk to: my mum
E - Eggs: well done, I hate those see through bits in the white when they aren’t cooked right.
E - Email: biteme@youloveus.com
F - Favourite colour: black, red, pink
F - Food: there’s nothing that I don’t enjoy but I always go back to pesto, cheese, nice bread, hot pepper sauce, sushi, miso soup, rahmens…
F - Foreign Slang: Boo, as in a boyfriend or girlfriend e.g. "I love you, Boo." – not that I’m self centred or anything.
G - Gummy Bears or Worms: neither, sour jellies
G - God: Right, are you ready…“god” is basically an easily understandable symbol, humans use symbols to describe difficult or abstract concepts like the interaction of spirit and body. These symbols or allegories allow us to understand things like energy and spirit and self, they allow conceptual thinking…i.e. all religion is allegory. We are hard wired for belief - we need to make some sort of sense of the world around and inside us...
"So God is dead, like Nietzsche said/Superstition is all we have left" 1985, Manic Street Preachers
G - Good Time: long, hot, relaxing baths with candles and smellies!
H - Hair Colour: dyed black (red black, blue black makes me look like I’m about to die)
H – Height: 5'8"
H - Happy: really happy only quietly…and not too often.
I - Ice cream: I like the grown up stuff - vanilla, coffee, pistachio and if I’m feeling wild a ‘99
I - Instrument: none, although I did once get a grade 1 in flute –rock and roll!
I - Idol: Again, so many! Brian Patten, Nicky Wire, William S Burroughs, Allen Ginsberg, Joss Whedon, Roman Dirge, Jhonen Vasquez the list goes on…
J - Jewellery: 4 silver, one rope pattern one from Lorna on my left little finger, one curly one on my first finger of my right hand, one amber one on my ring finger of my right hand, one curly, Celtic one on my little finger of my right hand.
J - Job: Arts Administrator
J - Joke: ok, are you ready for this because you will weep with the joy that this joke gives you?
When a pee falls from your plate onto the floor, look at it and point and say “Escape-Pee”.
What do you mean it isn’t funny? That’s the funniest thing in the world, a joke for all. The universal joke, if you will.
K - Kids: none yet…”I want a fucking baby!”
K - Karate: black belt, mate. Why? You wanna start something?
K - Kung fu: Bruce Lee’s got nothin’ on me!
L - Longest Car Ride: I get car sick, they all feel like the longest ride…*vomits into lap*
L - Longest Relationship: I once almost made the 6 years mark…I’ve been with the latest one for 2 years and 10 months. I don’t really do short relationships, I’m in it for the long haul.
L - Last thought: trying to remember my colleagues password that I gave her and where I put the cunning numbers instead of letters
M - Milk Flavour: Loveliness = McDonalds Strawberry Milkshake
M - Mother’s Name: Jan (or janimal the animal, depending on mood)
M - Movie Last Watched: X-Men 3 at the cinema (I sobbed like a child when Xavier got killed, so glad I went by myself!) and Serenity at home (which was kick ass great)
N - Number of Siblings: 1 baby bro (I say baby, what I mean 27 this week...)
N - Northern or Southern: Well, Southern by birth but Northern by traits and where I’ve spent the most time.
N - Name: Boudicca Lee Maloney
O - One Wish: after just spending half an hour trying to sort out my finances – never to have to worry about money again…
O - One Phobia: Moths – bloody hate them
O - Otter Pop: Eh? Otters I like. Pop I like. Together I’m not so sure. Am I missing something is otter pop some weird sexual thing that I haven’t done yet? Just done an internet check and it seems that otter pops are ice pops, in which case I like the blue raspberry ones.
P - Part of your appearance you like best: I’m a goddess, we don’t have to choose the best bits we’re totally amazing (moi ego be bloody quiet for one minute, eerrrhh, eyes?)
P - Parents, are they married or divorced: not married but cohabited (but only after the children had grown up and left home)
P - Part of your personality you like best: see above
Q - Quick or Slow?: Quicker than lightening
Q - Queen or Queer?: Queen of Fucking Everything!
Q - Quiet or Loud?: veer from one to the other at alarming speeds
R - Reason to smile: when listening to your CD player in the street or on the tube and you actually want to jump up and air guitar to the best bit but you can’t – a smile to yourself is enough!
R - Reality TV Shows: hate them but once they are on I can’t turn over.
R - Right or Left: Politically left, right handed
S - Song Last Heard: The new Embrace World Cup football song. Danny McNamara reaching some amazing high notes quite badly. Shit but I know that I’ll be singing alone within 2/3 more plays on Xfm
S - Season: Autumn
S - Sex: often, thank you.
T - Time you woke up: 8.20am – I should have got up at 7.30am…but I’m lazy.
T - Time Now: 2pm – doing this is more fun than going out for lunch.
T - Time for bed: I’ll go to bed at 10pm but won’t get to sleep until the pips go on radio 4
U - Unknown Fact about me: a really embarrassing one – I was once so bored during a school assembly I sat there eating my bogies…I was 8!
U - Unicorns: love ‘em, always eating the roses in gardens though.
U - U are: you are, if you please.
V - Vegetable you hate: I quite like vegetables – I used to refer to the broad bean as the devils bean but I’ve grown up a bit and quite like them now.
V - View on Politics: I used to want to be a political journalist and I still like to listen to Today in Parliament but mainly to moan about it all.
V - Victoria's Secret: that she’s anorexic and dreams of having a breast larger than 22 A???
W - Worst Habits: I have so many…nail biting, remote control hogging, swearing like a navvy, the weird OCD habits, etc
W - Where are you going to travel next?: Planned holiday - Egypt – 2 weeks in December. I’m already overexcited. I'm also hoping for a holiday with the boyf in September if I can get the time off work - anywhere...just hot and cheap.
W - Weight: I’m a lady, I don’t need to answer that.
X - X-Rays: quite handy for looking inside you?
X - Xylophone: I played one once during a school play, I rocked out!
X - Xenon: Number 5 on the periodic table? (interesting fact: xenon is present in the Martian atmosphere to the extent of about 0.08 ppm)
Y - Year you were born: 1977
Y - Year it is now: 2006
Y - Yellow: nicotine stains and wee
Z - Zoo Animal: Crazy llamas and the day the llama got out, went crazy and started hoofing the public, "hoofing doctors, hoofing vicars". There’s only one way to calm a llama down:
Calm a llama down
Calm a llama deep down in the ocean blue
Like a barnacle
Sitting in the tight place
Laughing like a monkey arm
Pulling like a china boy
Caraway caraway caraway noise
Boing chika masala
Boing chika masala
Ooooooo tooth tooth (sharp intake of breath)
The Mighty Boosh
Z - Zodiac: Piscean.
Z - Zoolander: a quite rubbish film that I watch because David Duchovny was in it!
