Haven't written anything for ages - I'm not even sure how I even begin to sum up the last couple of months. The already afoot changes in and around my life are far reaching and epic but on a pretty personal scale. I don't really feel the need to broadcast my innermost thoughts and feelings to the 'world' on a regular basis but don't feel as though I'm quite ready to let this blog go. My opinions are still strong and varied and it may might not take much to get the juices flowing again. Although, saying that I don't want to turn into one of those middle-aged, self-centered, sad motherfuckers whose mundane and dull life is played out through blogs, tweets and facebook updates and not by actually connecting in real life to real people... Err, epic fail since 2002 and counting.

A promo video including a few of the acts I represent at Fool's Paradise:

A bit delayed but...

Boudicca and Joe’s Honeymoon Adventures

Cruise to Norway, 9th – 16th May 2009

At Sea, 10th May

We awoke early to bright glassy cold looking sea and we waited for our breakfast in bed with much excitement. Later in the day, champagne with strawberries dipped in chocolate were delivered to our cabin which we ate with much relish while dressing for the first formal evening – our captain’s dinner!

Stavanger, 11th May

Sun streaming through the curtains. A glimpse of land... NORWAY!!!

Lysefjord & Pulpit Rock

A boat trip along Lysefjord, a fjord that cuts almost 25 miles deep into the country. We were surrounded by steep mountainside, waterfalls and the occasional small farm. The fjord is 1,384 feet deep and the rocks at the side reached almost as high which made for some dramatic views. The boat travelled directly under the ‘Pulpit Rock’ on the northern side of the fjord, which is a well known protruding rock formation 1,968 feet above sea level. We then stopped for coffee and freshly-made waffles with cream and jam.

Stavanger on Foot

We explored around Stavanger’s Valberg Tower which overlooks the central part of the city and harbour. It was used as a watchtower in case fire broke out in the wood buildings. In Old Stavanger we made our way through the well preserved 18th and 19th Century wooden houses.

Flaam, 12th May

We ascended to the top of the boat at 6.30am to see the ship sail into the Flaam. The snow capped mountains were really wonderful and certainly worth getting up early for.

Norway in a Nutshell

We went on the Flam railway line between Flam and Myrdal. Its 12 miles long but the journey took 50 minutes. We climbed from 16 feet to 2,845 feet, going through 20 tunnels and we stopped at the Kjosfoss waterfall which was huge! We changed trains at Myrdal onto Voss for an amazing buffet lunch with loads of lovely, smoked fish. The coach journey back went down a very steep 21 hairpin bends. We also stopped at the 305 foot Kjosfossen Waterfall where we drank the water to ensure eternal youth (worth a try!).

Olden, 13th May

A late rise reveals the town of Olden by green slopes capped by snow clad mountains. A grey start becomes a beautiful sun drenched clear day.

Briksdal Glacier

We coached through the Olden Valley admiring the mountains, glacier tongues and waterfalls. We arrived at the Briksdal Inn and then we had a steep walk up through craggy rocks and crashing waterfalls to the glacier. The ancient ice formation moves approx. 1.5 metres a day and as it moved we heard its creaks and groans echoing thunderously around the valley. A really inspiring day.

Bergen, 14th May

Bergen on Foot

A walk through busy Bergen where we are shown the gardens, hanseatic merchant quarters and the fish market. We also went 1050 feet up the Mount Floien funicular to experience fantastic views. In the evening after sailing away from Norway with some sadness, it was to the ship’s casino we headed; not to gamble but for the James Bond quiz. The winner is... Joe! Yay, a bottle of wine!

At Sea, 15th May

A very yummy dinner in the onboard Marco Pierre White restaurant – a wonderful last evening treat.

Southampton, 16th May

Arrive home, tired but very happy!

Boudicca's photos here

Joe's photos here

Happy Chinese New Year!

Snake 1977

2009 is a super-lucky for snakes! Act on opportunities & seize the moment! You have great luck in love & career this year — the chances of getting married or a huge promotion are excellent. You will meet influential people who will inspire & help you make more money as well as increasing your prestige. You should still be careful, though — you may want to save some money this year to help cover unexpected expenses or losses.

2008 in One Easy Quiz

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before? Bought a house, super grown up.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?I did – lost 3 stone and went to the gym regularly. 2009 – when one door closes another door opens. Love, adventure and happy families.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes and I haven’t got a cuddle off him yet.
4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes, the two most important women in my life.
5. What countries did you visit? Egypt
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Confidence
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 7th July, the day that Jan flew away from us.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Starting a settled, happy life in Exeter
9. What was your biggest failure? Being too within myself and not telling anyone what was going on in my head.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Yes, ongoing. 2009 is the year to sort it out; I have an appointment booked in June and hopefully then an operation.
11. What was the best thing you bought? Our house!
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? My brother for being so damn grown up this year.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? My own…
14. Where did most of your money go? House, books, perfume.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The Manics are working on a new album using some of Richey’s lyrics. I almost couldn’t breathe when the email popping into my inbox. They release the record next April or May. The working titles are “Journal for Plague Lovers” or “I Know I Believe In Nothing But It Is My Nothing”.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008? Wade in the Water by The Staple Singers
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Having fun.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Being miserable.
20. How will you be spending Christmas? Done and dusted; a quiet one with my fiancé and my brother.
22. Did you fall in love in 2008? I’m always falling in love with new people for a fleeting moment or two. Singers, band members, novelists, poets, emo boys in HMV! Those people in relationships that say they don’t fancy other people are out and out liars. Love and lust are what make the world turn around.
23. How many one-night stands? None unless you count those evenings in alone with a book, CD or DVD.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Hate, no. Dislike, yes. Unsure of where I stand so super wary, yes.
26. What was the best book you read? The Dud Avocado by Elaine Dundy… found in the hotel in Egypt. Fantastic.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Gosh, I think everything I bought in 2008 was from people I already knew.
28. What did you want and get? An engagement ring.
29. What did you want and not get? The elusive child, when it finally arrives and stays it can never say it wasn’t wanted.
30. What were your favourite films of this year? Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. I saw it 3 times and bought the soundtrack too.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I went to the local veggie restaurant and then to a club and misbehaved. I was 31.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More holidays; I really must try harder to have holiday once or twice a year rather than every two years.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Sack-like comfort, 2009 will see an overhaul of that.
34. What kept you sane? My boyf but only just.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Johnny Deep as Sweeney Todd.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? Nothing, nothing, nothing.
37. Who did you miss? My mum with all my heart.
38. Who was the best new person you met? A lot of lovely new people but no one has risen to the top just yet.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. To live life to the full as we really do only have a short time.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: “There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, / And the vermin of the world inhabit it, / And its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit, / And it goes by the name of London. At the top of the hole sit a privileged few / Making mock of the vermin of the lower zoo. Turning beauty into filth and greed.” Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet

Ten Things About Me

1. I whistle and click my fingers really badly. Both things took me years to learn - years of dedication. My brother could do them both from a really young age. This is the source of all our sibling rivalry.
2. Because my hair is crazy curly, I can only brush it in the shower when it's wet.
3. I eat hot pepper sauce with almost every meal (not breakfast though, that would be too weird). This started because I suffered from bulimia and throwing up hot pepper sauce is horrible. The sauce helped me get out of the habit.
4. I need to be busy - a bored Boo is a dangerous Boo.
5. I bite my nails. I've tried everything to stop but nothing works for more than a few weeks.
7. When people meet me for the first time they tend to think that I'm rude. I'm not, I'm shy.
8. The thing I miss most about living with my ladies is the toothbrush-offs in the bathroom and hall before bed.
9. I hate moths.
10. I keep Smash Hits style pop facts in my head.

Wedding

We went to the registry office this morning and the whole thing finally feels confirmed!

Is it wrong to want a wedding dress with this design?

I'm short of inspiration. I'm running on empty. I cannot create. I'm tired. I cannot think in a straight line. I'm worried about the future. I'm Esther crawling between the mattress and the padded bedstead.

Silly New Toy

One of those getting to know you things

Please copy mine below, erase my answers putting yours in their place then post it in your blog if you get a chance...

1. First name:
Boudicca (it really is before you ask, my parents gave me that name).

2. Age:
31, I used to be worried about hitting my 30s but it's been ok.

3. Location:
Exeter, UK. I've only been here for 10 months but it feels like home. We'll be here for a while.

4. Hometown:
Well, I was born in London. Spent my childhood in Hebden Bridge. My teenage years in Newcastle upon Tyne. Then back to London for 10 years. They are all my hometowns.

5. Occupation:
An agent for outdoor and variety artists and a freelance arts project manager. I care deeply about the arts and I'm lucky (or driven!) enough to have worked in this sector for all my working life. Someone reminded me a while ago that when I was 14 I said to them "all I want to do is own my own venue". Still my dream.

6. Partner:
Joe, we've been together for 5 years and are getting married next year.

7. Kids:
No, not yet. There's a few complications that need to be sorted first unfortunately.

8. Brothers/Sisters:
One brother, Dash, two years younger. Love him to bits. I'm a very bossy big sister but he puts up with it.

9. Pets:
None, but I have a picture of a jack russell on my desk which keeps me happy.

10. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:
1. I've bought my first house so I'm nesting.
2. Developing exciting things at work.
3. Planning the perfect festival in my head.
4. Adjusting to my new status as an orphan...which leads me onto...

11. Parents:
Lee died in Dec 05 and Jan died in July 08. There are no words for the emptiness they've left behind. I'm very lucky to have been bought into the world by them and I'm only sorry they had to fly with the birds so early.

12. Who are some of your closest friends?:
I have lots of friends but very few people know me really and truly and they know who they are!

13. Do you drink/smoke?:
I used to do both and to excess. Smoking I stopped years ago by still cracked under stress. Drinking...gah, I've been drinking heavily since my teens and binge like no-one else I know. I'm trying to get it under control though and recently have only drunk 5 pints of ale (in one naughty night) and 1/2 bottle of wine since 9th August. I do miss it but I'm not allowed until I can learn just to have a merry couple rather than a shouty allnighter!

14. Tattoos/Piercings:
Piercings:
4 time in left ear
2 and 1 top in right ear
Left nose

Tattoos:
One rose on top of left arm - MSP debut album cover with the song title 'Stay Beautiful' instead of Generation Terrorist. It was a present from Jenni and Dan for my 17th birthday. I was "all broken up at 17" just like the song said.

Just below I have a dolphin which I got for my 18th birthday. He looks a bit like a weird bird but I love him.

Right arm I have a flaming sun. I got this in New York and was a gift to myself for finishing my degree. My friend Darian was with me getting his stars done at the same time.

I have plans for memorial ones for Lee and Jan to go onto my feet. Just got to find me a tattooist in Exeter.

Boo's Booze

I doing OK on the booze front - only 1 pint so far. Yesterday, on a night out where I'd usually have consumed around 5 or 6.

Tonight is a test though as a big night out for Alice who's moving to Manchester.

Generally, as not on tour or doing festivals I have consumed a mere portion of what I'd usually do in an average summer.

Life plods on. I had a dream last night that Jan wasn't dead and it was all a big mistake. She appeared from the sea on a blue sailing boat while I was walking along a beach. Her and a friend had just been lost. I awoke to emptiness, a list of mundane tasks and a constant nagging panic just a or two breath away.

8 Mile Midnight Walk

I'm raising funds for Hospiscare please visit here to donate if you can.

Of Late...

...you may have noticed that I rarely update on personal things. There are numerous factors for this but what's generally going on is this:

Downs
Cancer, Jan's been going through 26 weeks of chemotherapy. It's been very difficult for us all, we're not sure if it's working well enough, it may have spread again but to the bones this time. She'll be scanned soon but until then I hold my breathe and try not to cry.

Ups
Loving my job/s - agency work is really interesting and the freelance stuff is great.
Making new friends in Exeter.
Buying a different house to the previous one I wrote about - we're actually talking about exchanging contracts soon so fingers crossed.
The lovely Joe, keeping me sane and down to earth.

This Morning

"There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit, and the vermin of the world inhabit it..."

Reminder to self: don't go to sleep with the Sweeny Todd soundtrack on repeat.

Mememe Game

I go to page 123 of the book I'm currently reading, skip the first five sentences and reveal the following three.

"Wishing to be loved by their child, parents shrink from exposing him to tales which encourage him to think of parents as bad or rejecting. Parents wish to believe that if a child sees them as stepmothers, witches or giants, this has nothing to do with them and how they at moments appear to the child, but is only the result of tales he has heard. These parents hope that if their child is prevented from learning about such figures, he will not see his own parents in this image."

The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales by Bruno Bettelheim

Now I "tag" you to do the same...

You are Emo

Emos are underrated. It's not easy balancing introspection with a childlike delight in life. You look so pretty that people always think you're nothing but a new-wave teenager who takes photos of things, but they're wrong, and can't see past the hair. You notice what's happening around you - you just choose when you want to interact with the world, or not. Let them laugh - they still end up asking if they can download your amazing mp3 collection.

Yep, I know...check out what you are here at this lovely site that I like to frequent.

Life

Jan's chemo has shrunk the cancers. Her life expectancy has increased from 6/8 months to 5 plus years. I'm happy but still scared about the future.

The house has fallen through (as it was literally about to do itself!). Still on the search for another one but have decided that central Exeter is a good option as we can just 'pop out' for fun fuelled evenings.

I'm enjoying the new part time job. A lot. I mean really enjoying it. It's pushing me into unconfident territory but in a good, supportive environment. Nothing more I could ask for really.

I'm cold and tired but each sunny day fills me with the hope of a blooming, warm summer.

I'm missing the Centreparcs weekend and Lornie's hen do due to the other work I'm doing at the moment.

I'm going to the gym 3 x a week.

Witchy-woo

I have finally passed my Correllian Wicca - First Degree (with an A). It's taken me rather a long time to get to this point with many stops and starts on the way. It should have taken a year; it's taken me over two. I've finally done it though.

Second Degree here I come!

Life...

Life in the recent months has been played out at extremes. The ups and downs are roller coaster like and I have an almost constant about to *vomit in my hand* feeling.

Downs

• My mum has terminal cancer. There are no words I can use to explain how I feel. I do hate the word terminal...
  
• I've had a miscarriage. Yes, they are common. Yes, it was a "silly" time to get pregnant. It doesn't stop the doom laden thoughts about a future of miscarriages and an inability to have children.
• The weather. The cold, driving rain. Great when you have a warm, cosy home and hot chocolate to get back to.
  
• The lack of heating in our rented flat. It is beautiful but goddamn it's cold.
  
• The lack of a decent shower. Mornings are good when you wake up with a hot, enlivening shower. The shower dribbles and is scorching or freezing. I hate it. It is evil.
  

Ups

• A lovely new job with lovely people. 3 days a week so I have time for the freelance stuff too.
  
• We've bought a house on the same road as Lornie and Will. A 4 bedroom Edwardian end of terrace that we can (hopefully) grow a family in. It has a good sized garden and there are plans afoot for vegetables a plenty. Fingers crossed we should have the keys by February.
  
• Egypt cruise (Nile and then El Gouna) booked for December '08.