I have no money for xmas therefore I'm making friends xmas pom-poms!

I'm sure they will love 'em with all their hearts

"Libertines, I love you...Libertines, I do".

Taken from Darian

Instructions:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that you have in common with me.
3. Whatever you don't bold, replace with things about you.


01. I like to travel but the waiting in-between getting there is a chore I could live without.
02. I love long, warm autumn days
03. I'd like to write fiction.
04. I think vegetables are ever so yummy
05. I like writing in coloured pens.
06. I don't like the current US Administration
07. I love where I live but I wish I owned my own place.
08. I want to learn a language (not French though).
09. I love wandering around the old back streets in Soho.
10. I love dancing in the kitchen living room on my own.
11. I want to meet Peter Jackson.
12. I want to go to everywhere in the world from my armchair!
13. I have a great interest in my bicycle but I don't have the willpower or motivation to get on it.
14. I don't want people to hate me.
15. Some music makes me sad
16. I have a preference for British guitar music over American.
17. I wish I were more social
18. I LOVE warm socks.
19. I'm a total geek
20. I like getting things in the mail.
21. I'd like to think that I'd weaned myself off of my shite women's magazine addiction but I can't pass a copy of Glamour/Marie Claire/etc without having a peek.
22. I love the idea of being in love but the actual feeling is weird and almost unbearable sometimes...it takes my breathe away how much I'm in love with that certain someone.
23. I love sunshine and breeze.
24. I love to smell nice - my greatest weakness is bath potions and lotions.
25. I'm obsessive about checking my email
26. I like different kinds of music
27. I have one brother
28. I wear silver, not gold
29. I do like a bit of bling bling however.
30. I get stressed a lot
31. I like being alone
32. I like the idea of driving a fast convertible car with the roof down, knowing that I can't and may never drive (the world does not need a scatty Boo on the road!)
33. I hate loosing; this has led to my family and close friends refusing to place any board game with me at all (except Backgammon which I rock at and win anyway!)
34. I love my friends.
35. I take showers and baths (umm, power shower and long, hot, nice smelling baths)
36. I'm only now just realising I'm a grammar Nazi! (as I correct all the i's to I's etc)
37. I love being surrounded by those who genuinely care
38. I am selfish, to a degree.
39. I have a few friends who I am closest to.
40. I love sleeping
41. I spend too much money
42. I'm addicted to the net
43. I really shouldn't spend so much time filling out these things while I have a massive 'TO DO' list at work!
44. I love a tall, skinny latte with a cinnamon or hazelnut shot but can't buy due to my hatred of St****cks and Co***e Re*****c).
45. I want to leave a mark (I want a trust or foundation named after me when I die to support people wishing to get into arts administration - aiming low, I say)
46. I love Missy Elliott's music.
47. My place is usually spick and span! (although I have just moved so everything is still in boxes or flung across my floor)
48. I love the city
49. I used to play the flute/bass/recorder but my laziness stopped me from ever learning properly (although my dad shouting upstairs "shut that fucking racket up" may have also have an effect!!!).
50. I have a love hate relationship with vertigo. I love the thrill but I hate the fear (which is the same thing)
51. I don't think enough.
52. I love Indian food.
53. I love storms.
54. I have more than one best friend, if only because I don't know what other word to use than 'best friend'.
55. I love cooking.
56. I can't seem to get away sometimes
57. I hate jealousy (but it is one of my worst traits)
58. People very often mistake my patience for boredom.
59. I like when my friends write me letters, it makes me feel special.
60. I'm shy with big groups but very extrovert one on one.
61. I love hugs
62. I love kissing
63. I'm looking forward to pottering around in my garden.
64. I am lazy
65. I like being sarcastic
66. Only my lover or very close friends can touch my hair, I get freaked out if others do (and they do quite often - strangers like to 'ping' my curls)
67. I don't like organised religion.
68. I think belief should be personal and private.
69. Sometimes I don't know why my friends like me
70. I believe in therapy to certain degree...shopping and chatting to friends can be counted a therapy in my books.
71. I dream in paranoia...
72. People who don't know me think I'm reserved
73. I love reading
74. My computer is slowly dying on me but it saw me through uni, a break up and many a move so bless it.
75. I wish I were thinner.
76. I laugh a lot
77. I like peanut butter and jam on toast.
78. I have faith in myself and others (most of the time)
79. I'm an ass woman.
80. I have friends that I love but don't trust.
81. I have a fetish for twin sets and pearls.
82. I like functional clothing that is a bit different from normal.
83. I no that I cannnttt sppel + it annoeis me cos my mum + dad r englise teechers + lik to do srbble games and kroswordes...
84. I don't idolise anyone, even my heroes.
85. I like being a child in an adult’s body.
86. I hate to sing, because I sound awful (I went to drama college as well surrounded by singers who sat around pianos and did west end tunes!)
87. I wish I knew what I wanted to do.
88. I haven't told everyone the whole truth about a lot of things.
89. I do get lonely but sometimes I like it.
90. There are people I trust more than others
91. I wish…(secret or it won’t come true)
92. I like making things, just for the joy of making things.
93. I like things that make me feel emotions
94. In hindsight I didn't like university much although I enjoyed it whilst I was there.
95. I lack motivation
96. I am extremely stubborn sometimes, just for the hell of it.
97. I really need to get with the technical jargon.
98. I want to see the aurora borealis
99. I'm very sentimental indeed, I have those notes/letters etc that you pass to each other in class...most people are happy to leave that sort of thing behind.
100. I want someone else to be the better person for once.

Crikey what a busy couple of weeks!

I've moved (with the whole gang) - absolute madness, moving everything is the house...packing during the weekend and getting a van from work for a few hours on the Monday - with the help of mine and Jessie's boy/fs (the sweethearts!)

Work hectic as always..tour's ending, rehearsals starting, endless meetings!

Majorly worrying 'bout xmas - lack of funds, lack of present ideas etc...

Sure it will all be fine...

Anyway, Suede gig tonight - hurrah!

General Update:

Friday 21st - went to see 'The Trouble With Richard'. It's a Shape and Graeae co-production for schools (Key Stage 3 so 11 -14 yr olds). It focuses on 13 yr old disabled student Richard and his move to mainstream school. It was a Forum Theatre piece (which is what the company I work for does) but they worked it in a different way to us...it was quite set and ridged, with not much room for experiementation...it was ok but not enough 'freedom' to make changes in Richard's life.

In the evening I went to Photoforum at Four Corners (part of Photomonth) with my young man. There wasn't particularly one photographer that stood out...at all...quite boring.

Raining all weekend, so I stayed in.

Currently, the house are all going to move (hopefully staying together and staying in the area) so I'm majorly scatty and unsettled. I find moving really difficult because I spent most of my childhood moving every couple of years or so and now like to be settled - I'm it'll all be ok though (hopefully)

Just reading through the website for the Virtual March info linked through from Little Miss Bitch's website and found the great resource Ask Aristotle - very useful and interesting indeedy...

This is a great article! I particulary like the bit about "I thought that he'd got a hobby"!!! Nutters, you gotta love 'um or they might bite.

Once again, it's been ages since I wrote anything (you can always tell when I'm busy at work!)

Training week went well, although massively knackered the next day, post-Manchester.

Went to see Madame Bovary on Friday 7th at Lyric, Hammersmith with my young man and Chris K and his young man. Interesting production, some wonderful visuals (esp. during Opera infidelity scene!) but all in all a bit boring as you don't really feel for any of the characters (yes, Emma's oppressed but she really does treat he husband like shit...).

Went to Hastings for Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Sunday, the train only went as far as Battle so I had to be picked up by post-clubbing/xtc parents. Monday morning I did my mother's filing (having forced her to buy a filing cabinet some weeks ago). The afternoon was spent watching the open dress rehearsal of her new production. Really good fun, they are trying to move towards a Forum Theatre piece so the audience had a very interesting discussion at the end of the show about alcohol, support coming off the streets, post-prison information.

In the evening I attended a 'magical gathering'. I went along with Jan, Lee (Mum and Dad) and Fiona (family friend). The gathering was due to the lunar eclipse and a Grand Sextile in the sky. I'll be honest; I went in with a pretty closed mind. I've done plenty of spells, meditation etc. but have preferred to do things along on the whole. However, getting past the major crystal overload (felt seasick for a lot of the first 20 mins or so) I really got quite into it...and when Paddy started drumming I got all sorts of visuals. A wonderful kestrel at first standing on a fence and then hovering in the sky. I then started to go deep into the earth - actually feeling and smelling that dark, dusky, earthiness. Amazing.

On Tuesday my young man came down for the day...we pottered around the old town, ate fish and chips at the Mermaid, wandered by the sea, drank some beer in the FILO and then came home and collapsed.

Since then I have been relaxing at home!

Clubbing tomorrow night (After Skool methinks). Should be fun.

Went to see Hot Hot Heat last night - very rare to find a band that sound better live than on their records...very good fun (although couldn't go clubbing due to lack of funds and my newly found "old lady" syndrome*)

And also *breathe* *breathe* managed to get tickets for the Libertines Forum date in December (when there was only 30 something left for the upstairs bit!). Hurrah, hurrah!

Work side, gotta go to Manchester on Monday for the start of our training courses...wasn't expecting to go...don't want to go...have to go...blurg, means I won't get a full weekends worth full of lovin'...not bloody fair.

*Mustn't go out due to work, I'll feel tired tomorrow...busy, busy, busy...gotta get home to bed, mustn't drink too much - I'll feel awful etc, etc..

Plus, YAY blogger is back to normal!!!

So who saw that programme last night 'Does Prayer Work?'. It was about the Mantra Study in the US held over 3 years in 9 hospitals. The study took 750 people undergoing major heart surgery and 12 prayer groups prayed for 50% of them (double blinded the participants and the doctors didn't know who was being prayer for). Their health was monitored 6mths after their surgery.

The 12 prayer groups chosen included Christian mothers, a Buddhist group, an Islamic group (Sufi's in fact), Jews and a lone Christian.

The resulting stats on 5th September 2003, measured no significant difference between the health of the group prayed for and the group that were not BUT during the experiment another level of prayers were added in that another 12 prayer groups prayed for the original groups...this made a difference to the health of the participant 'double' prayed for!

Another finding of the study was that the use of MIT (music, imagery and touch therapy) reduced patient distress significantly but gave no long-term medical benefit (and in fact may have reduced the patients chance of survival).

The most interesting thing about the study was the reaction of the groups to each other and also the effect of September 11th.

The Christian Mother's and a Christian preacher were the most bigoted bunch of bastards! The preacher wanted religions assessed as to their effectiveness and the mother's disregarded any prayers but the Christian ones.

One man however said, "prayer is prayer - it's not the words, it is the intention and sincerity of the person reciting the prayers" and that prayer was "connecting to and using the divine energy, the life force". A wonderful, positive person.

After September 11th enrolment for study dropped dramatically...people didn't want Muslims praying for them...

Then I watched 'Lock Up Your Sons'. Teenage boys fighting...upsetting and also very funny...twats.

I'd just got used to the change in blogger and then they damn well go and change it again...but this time, it's a little less high tech and seems like I'm a kid again: Create new post? "PRESS THE NEW LARGE BRIGHT BUTTONS", "I'VE GOT WHAT I DO IN A LARGE, CLEAR FONT SO YOU CAN SEE ME".

Oh my oh my, I *heart* Carl and Pete

HA HA!

Weekend went well (although didn't quite manage to get to My Own Private Idaho due to lack of ability to move from sofa!). Reflecting Skin was horrifically beautiful, lots of Gus Van Sant type shots of wide open sky...wonderful story, scary, interesting comment on how children take everything to heart and make up their own reality to the weirdness that goes on around them.

Pollock was very interesting too, although I ended up disliking the man (monstrous alcholic, evil to wife that supported him and in fact made him everything he was...).

Tuesday I went for some training on Practical Project Management - very enjoyable and in good time as I have now been given the task of writing schedules for the tour that is out at the min (of Woyzeck have a look at our website to see if you can get to any of the gigs, as it's an amazing show).


Tonight, I'm going to see Thoroughly Modern Millie @ Shaftesbury Theatre with Richie and Chris. Tomorrow the TATE Modern with the young man and Sunday Basquiat at NFT with Damaris. So much for a quiet weekend!!!

Last night in bed by 8pm!

Still tired though and, of course, come Friday afternoon...major mailout sprung at last min, computer doesn't want to open any files for me AND have you ever tried to book a Liverpool hotel for 7 people over a home game weekend. Don't. Bastard.

Plans for this weekend:

1. Eat
2. Sleep
3. Watch telly
4. Go to movies (My Own Private Idaho and Pollock at NFT)
5. Watch videos (for example, Reflecting Skin - I adore Philip Ridley, so really looking forward to seeing the film).

There that made me feel better...

Overhung like mad. We went to see Dodger's band Smart Dogs at Metro's on Oxford Street. Dodger being one of Lorna's (many, many, many) young men. The band were technically good, nice riffs, looked pretty hot etc but no soul whatsoever. No content to them, nothing to make them stand out from the crowd of wannabe Oasis shite.

Post-gig, we walked along to Candy Box with Lorna, Carla, Jess and boy/f in tow. Tagging along was another young man of Lornie's. He who is known as 'Thuggy Beast'. Mainly due to him being a THUG and a BEAST. He was in amazing form, throwing Carla against a car, then a shop window, trying to hit me a number of times. Lornie of course thinks that all of this is cute...good start to the evening.

I end up in a corner with boy/f having a rather odd, deep conversation. I'm so fucking crazy about this man and he's downright refusing to fall in love with me...(or at least refusing to tell me he loves me).

Went to join the others later on (Hels had turned up meanwhile). Lorna and Jess had a screaming, shouting, crying match at the bar about various friendship/work/living together stuff. Jess went home early. My young man and me went home a little later. Jess still up and still very unhappy. We all go to beds after a chat. I am woken by Lornie and Hels throwing stones and shouting abuse at my window in the very early hours 'cos they'd lost their keys.

Bah, tonight I intend to be in bed by 10pm!

What the fuck???

ARNIE??? The Terminator?

Who's next, Freddie from Nightmare on Elm Street???

Libertines, Libertines, Libertines!!!! YAY!

Just got back from the holiday. These are a few of the things that I did:

Saturday 20th September

Stopped off in Sheffield to visit my old babysitter, husband and kids. I used to look after the kids when they were younger and it was very strange to see them all ‘teenage’ (14 and 17 yrs old)…they also revealed that I am responsible for getting them addicted to cheese and tomato sauce sandwiches!

The parentage and I went for a walk around Sheffield’s botanical gardens. Really beautiful and babysitters husband told us about the arsonist that is currently at work in Sheffield – he only sets fire to conifer trees…(cue many jokes about incidents with xmas trees as a child “daddy, not the baubles” etc)

Sunday 21st September

Drove to Newcastle. Got my first really good look at the Angel of the North I have seen it from the train but you only get a glimpse. From the motorway you can see it for ages. It’s wonderful, striking, beautiful, etc..

Monday 22nd September

Spent today walking around Newcastle. Went to the Baltic and the Millennium Bridge – both amazing to look at…unfortunately the Baltic have forgotten to put enough art in there (but the Jane and Louise Wilson video piece was pretty good). Much TOO minimal.

Spent the afternoon watching Whalerider at the Tyneside Cinema. Erh, I suggest that you wait for the video. Not the best film of the year by a long shot.

In the evening I cracked and had to go out. I rang Stu and asked him to take me to the ‘new gay triangle’. There are 3 bars and 1 club in the genetics area – leading to the question, is Newcastle the new centre for ‘gay’ experimentation??? Met his boyfriend, worked out that I hadn’t been in Newcastle for over 3 years. We got suitably drunk as fuck and ended up clubbing! Hurrah, it was wonderful to catch up with Stu (minus dreads!). Can’t wait to get him down to London again…

Tuesday 23rd September

Hungover as fuck!

Meet Paul at the Monument at 4pm. Went to the ‘gay triangle’ again. I’m so hungover I drink shandy for the first time in my life! Dan (Paul’s boyfriend) and Gina come to meet us. Then we go back to Paul and Dan’s for my first fondue…ummm, melted cheese…It was really good to catch up with Paul especially to see him settled (this is a man that I spent a lot of time with, drinking cheap cider and getting morbidly depressed to MSP and Suede and vomiting and dancing – not particularly in that order!!!)

My other mates Emma and Sarah were also meant to turn up but they didn’t…I texted them to ask if we could meet up another time but they didn’t get in touch, so y’know…“whatever”

Wednesday 24th September

Watched Spirited Away – beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

Thursday 25th September

Went to a new gallery Biscuit Factory. Very interesting – discovered a wonderful artist Jacqueline Boyd. Lots of fun indeed.

Payday, so I went shopping – sensible shopping. 2 new pairs of shoes (£6.99 and £14.99!), M&S knickers (10 pairs, black, sensible), socks (poundstretcher, 10 pairs, £5.00).

In the evening the family went to see Underworld. Good fun, vamp and werewolf romp. Lots of lovely overacting, ended with the biggest “there’s a sequel y’know” ending!

Friday 26th September

Dad, Dash (baby bro) and mate were getting stoned so Jan and I went to see Young Adam. Dark, slow, empty shots of Scottish canals, power filled sex scenes, brooding Ewan McGregor. Flashback scenes throughout the movie as the plot unfurled were stunning (apart from the unnecessary (but disturbingly horny) sex scene halfway through).

Thoughts about Newcastle – very odd being back, I spent most of my teenage years here and there are memories jumping out at me from everywhere…emotionally heavy moments. The corner where I had my first ‘proper snog’, the street where I had the biggest fight with my best friend when we were 16 (she had shagged my other (male) best friend…), the first flat that I got with my boyfriend (who I ended up moving down to London with and who broke my fucking heart a couple of years later), the pubs and clubs I used to go to, the replacement window in the door that I smashed during the argument with my mother that ended up with me moving in with my father…, the 24hrs garage where we all promised to meet up in the year 2000!, major emotional rollercoaster moments.

Saturday 27th September

We drove back to London via the Yorkshire Sculpture Park. Romping through fields, looking at art, eating lovely food in the restaurant.

Got home to Lornie, Hels (who is staying on our sofa for a while) and Ali G being hungover. It’s so good to be back!!!

After a week away and a mad week at work I haven't really been keeping up to date...updates will be happening soon, I promise...

I have major illness setting in...blocked nose, headache, sore throat, vomitus feeling - blurg, not good (esp. as going on holiday on Saturday - wild holiday too, Sheffield to visit my old babysitter and her children that I babysat for, Newcastle for little bro and as many old friends as I can find that will talk to me (!), and then maybe Sheffield again or Hebden Bridge, where I spent my childhood...all in the back of a car with the parentage).

Aggghh...aarrggghhh...CHHOOOO *head explodes*, *wipes computer screen with sleeve* blurg...

Today went to the local library in Whitechapel to get some books. Most of which came from the non-fiction section, it's been over a year since I left uni and I am on a major "I'm not learning anything anymore" vibe therefore I needed an injection of knowledge...this recent information overload did lead to me annoying Lornie in the library by explaining who funded the building of the library, gallery next door and the hall around the corner (Rev Samuel Barnett who claimed that "the principle of our work is that we aim at decreasing not suffering but sin"!). I also informed her that the mosque on Brick Lane was orginally a Huguenot (the first 'refugees' in the UK...from France) church in 1743, then a Wesleyan chapel in 1809, a synagogue in 1809 and has only been a mosque since 1976...interesting...way to bore your friends Boudicca...

Been off work during this last week and did I go mad and party?...oh no, not me...we spent Monday in Brighton but that's as mad as it got! It was a very fun day, sleeping on the pebbles, eating seafood and chips, going on the pier, etc with Hels, Lornie, Jess and Shazzer was much fun. The gang had all gone down the day before for party time but I got a little distracted by the lovely young man in my bed so had to join them on Monday.

Tuesday...stayed on the sofa with Lornie who is ill at the moment.

Wednesday...Jess stayed off work so she could join me and Lornie on the sofa. But cabin fever of magnificant levels had hit by midday that we totally lost control and spend the rest of the day laughing at anything and everything. Richie came home to us collapsed on the floor when he had a "date" coming over...he kept frantically asking if we were drunk! We did all disappear to rooms when the date appeared!

Today, I cracked and had to go and do some art! Cruel and Tender at the Tate Modern. This is an exhibition of the real in C20th photography and the stand outs for me were Robert Frank ("You can photography anything now" - he had one wonderful photograph of a road, which made you feel you were standing there waiting for the next car to pick you up), Stephen Shore (street corners, diners, etc) and Martin Parr (bright, closeups of tacky consumerism). The show ends this Sunday, do try and catch it before it finishes. I then had to decide whether to go onto Tate Britain or go on the Globe Theatre tour...I opted for a bit of theatre...

The main guided tour itself doesn't really tell you anything you don't know already (actually that maybe because I'm a theatre bod, maybe other people don't know boring facts about the Globe and Shakespeare!)
The exhibition is very interesting though - from descriptions from diaries and letters from the time re: the area and the theatre, to the building itself, to other writers from Shakespeares time (I can never get over what a pretty boy Marlow was - that painting of him is like a pre-teen boy band photo!), to the costumes and there's a really interesting interactive authors space. This gives you the chance to "publish" editions of Shakespeare but you get the options to change the edition, use modern or period spelling, use modern or period punctuation, use cut or extended stage directions, use or not use scene divisions and change the typeface - fantastic ccomparing the difference between the texts you create (oh, maybe another boring Boudicca moment?).

One moment I particularly enjoyed on the guided tour was many of the flagstones have people's names engraved into them as a celebration of donated money. I took particular pleasure in seeking out people I don't like and grinding my heal into their names...oh, power mad I tell you, power mad!!

I also spent the rest of the day reading a really good book - The Cheese Monkeys by Chip Kidd. Very funny indeed esp. I think for you bods who have experienced art/drama school!

Apart from that I haven't really been doing much over the last few weeks (well nothing that should be put on here anyway!) Lornie, Hels, Carla, Jess and I are going to Limp Bizkit on Saturday (not for the band you understand - free tickets plus it should be fun!) and then it's back to work on Monday...mind you, only two weeks there and then I have another holiday lined up. This one is a little more organised (rather than just relaxing at home!) and the family are going up north to visit my brother (plus I should be able to catch up with some old mates I haven't seen in ages...)

Also I see that 'Spirited Away' is being released here soon, everyone must go and see as it is the most amazing film - beautiful, strange, enchanting. Reminds me of Darian and New York!

Plus the clubbing withdrawal vibes are still in full flow but I can't seem to get it together to go out and get ratarsed and party (maybe something to do with lack of funds or maybe something to do with the young man in my life???)

Visiting friend was fine, atmosphere (and smell) in the mental "health" unit was odd but there were lots of us there so the party atmosphere was good. Great to meet other mates of hers too (some I had met out clubbing before).

eerrrhhhmm apart from that, I'm bored...you see I've spent the last month thinking "I'm sooo busy, please I just want to do nothing...etc". Now that I have "nothing" to do (in the loosest terms, I do actually have a lot to do but it's either not too pressing or I have to wait for other people to get back to me before I can get on with things), I'm bored...and the thing is, I have no money so I can't just go out and do things (or eat...nevermind) And I have major clubbing withdrawal vibes going on, managed to get drunk on 1/2 a bottle of wine last night - what's all that about? Plus, we can't go out until next weekend (due to lack of funds and the fact that Lornie is away in Reading this weekend).

I need a hefty dose of cheap vodka, shite indie music (scrap that, I wanna go somewhere new - Stay Beautiful has reopened, I used to love it there...can't go to Slimelight due to ex-boyf - not that it would be a problem just awkward...maybe we could try something in Camden???) and dressing up (I've bought a few ebay treats that I'd like to wear outside the house).

Oh, I could also do with some sleep - I only got 3 hrs last night therefore feeling pretty shitty - just in time for my "date" tonight. Who, by the way, is coming around and cooking me dinner...(that man knows the way to my heart!)

Who says that politicians don't have a sense of humour - read this!

Bosses both away for one day (not even one day...) and I'm bored, bored I tell you! There are things that I could be getting on with but who at this time of the working week wants a phone call from me asking for data, money, photos etc from them (what a wonderful insight to my working life).

Stayed in last night with Richie - drinking wine, eating crisps for dinner and watching Chicago from the local video store. Jess came home and we drank fizzy wine (a classier version of what me and my clubbing mates used to call 'Bingo Pop', as Emma got it from her Nana, who won it from the local bingo in Heaton in Newcastle!!!). We all rang Lornie as she has gone to V2003 to work on the old vodka jelly bar...we're all missing her loads already.

Booked tickets for Three Sisters at the National for next week (yay, Jan-Jan (mummy) is up for a meeting so we're going out and having fun - well if you can call Chekhov fun!). I also have a "date" pencilled in for Tuesday which I'm dreading already - good god, my stomach turned just thinking about it!

Monday will be the worst though - going to visit a friend that is being held in a mental ward. She's been sectioned for 6 mths. Now, I've always know that she has problems in that area but this will be the first time that I'll be visiting her when she's "off on one" - not the first time that I have been to a place like that but I remember very clearly not liking it the first time (just left home at 16, living in squat like circumstances, taking too many drugs, drinking too much, one housemate literally stabbed her boyfriend in the back...not a nice way to be woken up one morning I tell you! Anyway we visited that flatmate - hospitals are horrible, mental wards are worse).

Fuck it, it's her birthday on Monday, I am her mate - I'd want people to visit me if I was there...I'm going with another friend, so it's not like I'll be on my own in that place...we'll take her some cool pressies and see how she's doing...

Things Boudicca has done over the last couple of weeks:

1) Not slept well at all - none ofthis helps!
2) Worked in a dirty warehouse and got covered in muck, dirt, sweat etc - (YAY, Pericles is over!!!)
3) Worked until 11pm each bloody night...
4) Had a lovely BBQ with lovely maties (and I got quite drunk indeed)
5) Hardly been clubbing at all (but when we have somehow we've been very naughty!)
6) Been to see Brokenville by Philip Ridley at the Riverside - which was wonderful..I worked on a version of this play just before I started uni on behalf of Kosova Aid. It was an amazing time, working with refugees some of whom, months before had hardly been able to talk a work of English. But they got up on stage and made people weep each night with this amazing piece of work. I have really happy memories of this time...
7) Had a picnic with work mates post a long meeting - on a lovely sunny day!
8) Went to see On Your Toes at the RFH. Adam Cooper was wonderful but the highlight for me was Irek Mukhamedov - I have never seen a more amazing dancer - literally took my breathe away...
9) Ummm, had a date (something which I have never done before...). Ummm, it also went quite well...*vomitus maximus* - I won't be able to take the piss out of Jessica and "her" Shazzer so much anymore!
10) Spent an evening with Richie last night, nice dinner and then Pirates of the Caribbean. Which wasn't actually that good - apart from the very witty (and sexy) Johnny Depp.

This weekend, I plan to be doing - in the words of Bros "nothing, nothing at all" - actually, it was "I owe you...nothing" but y'know a bit of poetic license never went amiss.

YAY! Pericles is over! Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah!!! Finally back in the world!

Extreme invisible theatre here we come - FLASH MOBBING

I like this game . Stolen from lovely Darran
Y'know what it may seem like I'm having nothing but fun but I am actually really busy and I have cut down to 20 mins max online (that is online without a work theme to it!). Am so bored, need an ebay fix!

BATTLE

I am so scared of moths that I actually scream like a little girl but it turns out that I am one:

Boudicca is a Human-Sized Moth that is Extremely Hydrophobic and Covered in Spines, has Very Sharp Fangs, and picks up Cars and Throws Them. Strength: 5 Agility: 6 Intelligence: 4 To see if your Giant Battle Monster can defeat Boudicca, enter your name and choose an attack: fights Boudicca using Strength Agility Intelligence

From the lovely Darian

Smart but angsty....now ask me another question


What JTHM moment are you?
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I really don't know whether to laugh or cry - have a look a judge for yourself!

p.s. I will do a proper update later - tres busy at work with new show starting this week.

5 Bizarre things that Boudicca has done this week:

1. Had to turn down a date with a friend to tidy the house due to letting agent coming aroung to 'check' (boring!)
2. Went to see Bombay Dreams(which I actually really enjoyed - costumes, fit men...what more do you want from a musical?)
3. Introduced to a lovely gay bar around the corner from us (not weird in itself but the evening was an odd one)
4. Joined Dating Direct (??? - this did lead to me having my photo taken by Richard with him shouting "pout" "look sexy" etc!!!)
5. Went to see Roots Manuva at Plastic People - the rudest crowd ever. We actually got elbowed and kicked by the queue going in...and then Roots Manuva did the shortest set. Boring. But we (Jess, Dave and I) got to walk home via the Beigel shop at 155 Brick Lane - hurrah!!!

This weekend will be full of fun too: Ten and Iain's tonight, Grandad's 80th birthday on Saturday, Michael's for dinner on Sunday - all of which must be done on less than £20 (GO BOO, GO BOO, GO BOO).

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

But...I thought I was evil, you said I was evil!!!

Just checked bank balance...can't stop hyperventilating *breathe*, *breathe*. How the buggeration did that happen? I haven't even paid all my bills this month yet and I have 4 weeks until I get paid again...

Oh well, I'll just go out with a tenner to spend tonight (wild times here I come!) and go to visit the parentage for the weekend and spend what little I have left...aarrrrggghhhh!!! No more fun for me this month...

Well, well, well it has been a strange week...very end of an era/beginning of something big feeling (perhaps related to the solstice???). Very busy at work, board meeting on Wednesday that I literally had to run out of to get to The Libs gig at the Forum. It was a good gig, but you could feel Pete missing from the stage...). We (Lorna, Carla, Jess and Courtney) left early to get to Candy Box before they charge loads to get in. We got to Propaganda on Wardor Street to find that due to a throat slashing 'incident' the previous night Candy Box would be taking place upstairs...it was all going quite well until Courtney had to buy 10 drinks to be able to use his card...madness ensued. The sort of madness that leads to mates having shouting matches, ignoring each other, almost 'proper' fighting, a 'proper' fight happening between one of you and someone else in the club, Courtney getting kicked out, making a fucking fool of himself outside by shouting at anyone who would listen and me (as per fucking usual) being the one to pull him off and take him home.

Jess was cool though and brought me back Brick Lane bagels to cheer me up!

Thursday was really busy at work (5pm deadline for copy for a programme...). Lots of rushing about, get home to a bomb site mess, get in a bad mood, get in a good mood, go out to meet Jess from work. We end up talking Shaz and FuFu into coming out to the last Smash and Grab (for a while). Lorna turns up when we're already in there getting very drunk...

While at Smash and Grab, odd things happened...one of the IR London board members almost smiled at me (for a moment - it didn't last long), we annoyed lots of people by playing with our 'hand creatures'...y'know when your hand has a personality of its own - it's perfectly normal mate, try it, really good fun ;)

Lots of other odd things happened too but a little too weird to go into today...

Tonight my cunning plan is to stay on my 'sofa' (I use the term very loosely - those of you who have been to the squat will know why!) with Richie-poos and surf the net looking for hot men to date (Dating Direct is a new passion in our house!), eating nice dinner and watching shit telly.

Tomorrow, Chris K is having a house party with camping in his garden so we should really test the tents too (our Glasto replacement). Parties with all the gang tend to be wild so I'm really looking forward to it! Hurrah, hurrah!!!

And as I won't be online tomorrow - Happy Summer Solstice for tomorrow, Blessed Be!

Bouxxxx

Y'know when you're so excited about going out that you have a fizzy tummy? Well, I've got that today...I did go out clubbing on Wednesday but I had to leave early due to a) tiredness b) lack of funds to buy £1 whiskey(!) and c) not being able to bring myself to fancy any of the 'feathercut boys' (who are all tres ugly and rude and who would want a man like that? - even for one night). So I'm gonna go mental tonight.

I gotta celebrate too - I am now a PA to my Excutive Director and Artistic Director! Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah.

Possibly Hamstead Heath tomorrow too (hangovers permitting!)

All in all I had a fun weekend, although not all of it went to plan!

Richie and I met Harriette in the Retro Bar (and it turns out that Harriette and I have been friends for over 4 years, which is odd seeing as we met at a poetry gig - Patrick Jones (he of the famous Nick Wire MSP bro fame) and kinda just clicked, now we email and meet up ever so often esp. at Manics themed events!). We had a few bevies and then went onto Popstarz. Now, I haven't been to Popstarz in ages (I used to go a lot when I was just 18/19 - 7/8 years ago!!!) but I always enjoy it. People there are literally there for a good time but for some reason (possibly the Skin PA???) it seemed full of twats (this is an ongoing theme of mine - maybe it's just me getting old?). Anyway, we met Darian who I haven't seen in ages...Courtney and his/her crowd were there (and that last time I saw them it was at a second world was murder mystery dinner party - David looked tres different without his Nazi gear on!). So, we had lots of fun anyhow!

Lazy weekend was maximised by Courtney popping around for an hour or two (and staying for two days!). We watched The Others and drank wine and iced coffee and played trivia games on Saturday, and then Damaris came around on Sunday and joined in! Damaris and I tried to go to a mates gig on Sunday evening but missed the train and ended up staying in and watching MonkeyBone (with Brendan Frazer - ummmm!).

Monday at work was the first day of rehearsals for our new prod of Pericles so lots of back and forth from office to rehearsal space!

Tuesday morning I awoke to my ladies coming back from Turkey - hurrah! They had a lovely time and have come back very brown indeed (however, mine and Richies presents were left in Turkey - whoops!). There are no good clubs in Turkey so we're out tonight, possibly tomorrow and defiantly Friday (finances are tight but I'm we can get in free/tres cheap to the nights and vodka will only be a £1/£1.50 each...).

Here's to noisy housemates! The house feels extra lovely now the ladies are home!!!

Your magical style is Witch.

What type of Magic do you work?. Take the Magical Style Quiz by Paradox

Had the lovely, divine Chris K around for dinner last night (pasta with roasted garlic, thyme, goats cheese and vegan pesto plus salad with basil tofu and roasted pine nuts - uummmhhh yummy!). It was really wonderful evening, we ate in the garden and chatted about live, love and close friends. We also agreed that our circle of friends really needs to start working damn hard at keeping in touch (so hopefully bbqs and the such will manifest tres soon!).

Apart from that, my life is very work based at the moment (rehearsal for our new production start on Monday) but I did see the film Secretary last week and ever since I have literally been obsessed with James Spader, be still my beating heart!

one good thing though, the Jack White being at our club was an evil lie (which, on the negative, means I will no longer trust anything that Chris says again but that's his loss)

So, this weekend was fucking stupid. It started ok, Saturday morning telly, nice bath, getting ready to go out, when I suddenly realise that I don't have Darian's house details on me as I'd left them at work...so, I go to ring him but my phone still isn't working, therefore no numbers are forthcoming...*thinks* must have Darian's number somewhere. Proceed to place everything I own into the middle of my room looking for my telephone book. *thinks* fuck this, I'll ring Virgin and find out what's wrong with my phone. Turns out that although they do have equipment down in my area, it is my fault for having an old phone that is not automatically looking elsewhere for a reception (to be fair I would love a new phone but I barely have enough money for bills/food/life let alone £100 plus for a new bastard phone!!!). So it is now 5pm and I am in a very, very bad mood...all dressed up with nowhere to go...so I stay in and rearrange furniture....(always a good anti-stress tool!).

My best mate from school is also in London but what with my phone not working and me not having found my goddamn address book, I don't get to see her either...

Then on Sunday Jess falls through the door in the morning to find me cooking apple crumble (at 10am). She proceeds to call me "mum" for the rest of the day!

So we watch Candyman 2 and drink too much beer and have dinner cooked by the lovely Lorna (which Jess throws on the floor - oooppps!). Jess and I watch the Up In Smoke tour video (Eminem, Dr. Dre, Ice Cube and Snoop Doggy Dog) and surprisingly the other housemates leave the room...

To make my life worse - Jess, Lorna, Carla and Hels are going to Turkey this afternoon. For a week. Without me (due to lack of funds and the fact we have rehearsals starting next Monday...).

Aaarrrggghhhhh.

*sobs*

AND THEN a bill comes this morning threatening to cut off the electric. I ring to check that the payments had gone through. Mine hadn't. I thought that I was doing really well on the money front but now it turns out that I have £90 more than I should have in my account. Which means I have minus, minus, minus to live on till next pay day (which is only 2 1/2 weeks away). It's fine *hyperventilating* no, it's fine.

For some reason I woke up this morning in the worst mood, it maybe because I have a bad sinus cold and sore throat...maybe because we've all lost our deposit on the house...maybe because we have to all move as soon as possible. Fuckin' hell I'm sick of being skint and scraping by (well last month it wasn't so much scraping by as being very, very hungry too!)...my life does have its positives - I have great mates, we always have a good time when we go out but it's soooo boring not being able to buy cds, new clothes, um food. I really thought that when I started a "real" job (after, it has to be said fucking about for years...but I finally knuckled down and went to uni - just as my school friends were graduating!) that things might get easier...that I wouldn't have to eat those cheap flavoured noodles for lunch anymore...that pasta and rice wouldn't be the main stay of my diet...that I might be able to go to a pub and buy a few rounds for my mates.

Actually, shut up, you self indulgent bitch - you have an amazing life which you manage to do on the cheap....jesus...blah...blah...blah.

Having thought about this, I think the mood is to do with the supremely crap, cop out ending to Angel Season 4 that I saw last night. What a pile of shite.

Whoop! - go sign this petition to keep the tubes open later (courtesy of Darian)

His Girl Friday was really good fun last night. I love the film, so seeing the stage show was a treat. I went with Cardboard Citizens Young Actors Company as part of the Playmates promotion. It was an amazing chance for our young people to actually get to talk to cast and crew after the show - very inspirational for them (plus free beer!).

Update on awful Thursday night last week - this has been made ever the more awful by the fact that Jack White from The glorious White Stripes went to our regular club 'Smash and Grab'...so upset...and I had to tell Lorna and Jess this morning...don't ever want to talk about it ever again...bad, bad, bad.

So, after a shit Thursday night (and upsetting Chris by not going to Smash and Grab) we had to miss Bedrock on Friday too 'cos Lorna and I had to get up at 7am to get to the Download Festival. We were working on the Vodka Jelly and Herbal High tents. It was the hottest weekend ever...and I have actually, wait for it friends and neighbours GOT A TAN!!!!

I only went to see a few of the bands (through choice!). Amen were fun, their music isn't great but I happen to be in love with Casey Chaos and he didn't let me down at all - throwing himself around the floor, hitting himself with the mic, climbing the rig and throwing himself off...fuck I LOVE HIM SO MUCH...then we went to see Marilyn Manson, who I love too but the show was odd, actually no scrap that, the audience was odd. Iron Maiden were on afterwards which might have explained some of the atmosphere (they don't exactly have the same fan base now do they?). The new look is amazing, and some brilliant costumes - the opening song with two drummers with Marilyn masks on looked fantastic, two dancers who came on later...but no reaction from the crowd at all...I was the only one excited in any way.

We had a fun evening in the stalls taking Poke (coke substitute) and drinking copious amounts of vodka (a birthday pressie for Lorna from Rich the lovely guy who runs the stalls), the next day was pretty uneventful music wise and stall wise but I kinda had fun anyway. Most of the group working was pretty cool and good fun and we had the chance to chat to people buying from us (mainly about getting wankered!). All in all a lovely weekend, until Lorna and I went to get a train. We left early, managed to get the coach to the train station pretty sharpish but wanted something to eat. Loughborough doesn't have anything like a restaurant or a cafe to sit down in (being fair it was Sunday evening). We did find an Indian Take Away (who wouldn't let us eat there even though it had started raining really badly) so we walked back up to the station. We sat in the station eating away (mind you, when you live near Brick Lane nothing outside London seems to compare - except Bradford). Then it turns out that lightening had struck...so we were delayed...and tired...and hot...and thirsty. Lorna even saw my grouchy, tired boo self (poor Lornie!).

Got home eventually though. Then I had to get up early for work...(a new Forum training week and a meeting at the RSC about our joint production of Pericles - all very exciting). Am now about to go out to the National for 'His Girl Friday' with our youth theatre and home to bed. But then of course up again early and then to Chris' for an Angel session - very excited about that one!

Well, last night was shit...me, Jess, Lornie and Hels went to see 2 Many DJ's at Rhythm Factory. Y'know, we thought that we'd try somewhere local to us...we all like 2 Many DJ's/Soulwax...we had been there for less than a min when I got body slammed by a fucking annoying, self obsessed, yellow hatted fucking freak!!!!! *ok, calm, breathe* It's fine I'm here to have fun, I'm sure everyone else is too. Oh, wait, no they're not, they're here to show off their new hairdos (or should that be don'ts) - designer t-shirts (or topshop designer in some cases) - people are here to be SEEN, to get their picture in the latest issue of THE FACE. AND, AND they're all acting like cunts...fucking body slamming central...twats...Jess knocked over someone’s drink while being body slammed by another twat and so, in the way you do, gave the guy a bottle she'd just bought...AND THEN he had the fucking audacity to fucking take the piss out of her...CUNTS, CUNTS, CUNTS the lot of them...a perfectly nice idea of a club ruined by the fashionista wankers that go there.....thanks for a fucking great night, YOU CUNTS!

Oh yay, one good thing, 2 Many DJ's did a fucking amazing mix of the White Stripes...which rocked.

Saturday 10th May

Weird evening all in all, Jess and I went to ‘Scope where we bumped into an ‘ex’ (and I use the term lightly!) of Jess’. He had given me a nose bleed within 10 mins of talking to us, acted very drunk indeed, kept asking us if we thought his new haircut made him look gay (which it did…).

We then moved to the dance floor, chatted to Herb for a while, actually got smiled at by a polite young man (so hard to find in indie clubs…), danced like wankers to The Datsun’s (hurrah, what fun!).

The end of the club didn’t however end our fun. Me and a few mates have been lurkers on a message board on irlondon. Chris thought that it was about time we met a few of the boarders….Glory Boy and MJ to be precise…who we had noticed earlier in the evening shouting “pin drop!” at passers by (which is kinda about when you tell a bad joke and in the silence afterwards you can hear a pin drop…). They offered to give me and Jess a lift back (we accepted and then told them that we lived in a completely different area of London!).

MJ proceeded to call Jess the Beast Master all the way home….a strange end to a strange evening….

Monday 12th

I will sort my life out, I will sort my life out…..

Lib card, leisure card,

I have sorted my life out…sorta

Wednesday 14th

Nice, understated evening out with the lovely Chris Eaton. Comedy, good conversation, oh yes and alcohol.

Thursday 15th

Ok, we started the evening with tequila. Then Jess and I went to see Electric 6 – who, it has to be said, would just be a plain pub rock band without the glory of man that is Dick Valentine! He is literally sex in a suit (think a glorious mix of Brian Ferry and John Cleese – actually that sounds awful but honest he is great!!!)

Jess and I both felt that we needed a bottle of beer to walk from the Astoria (TCR tube) to Smash and Grab (OC tube) so unsurprisingly we were both horribly drunk all evening.


Friday 16th

Hungover to the MAXXXX….blurg…but the boss is having his b/day so we buy Cava and bagels and binge all morning.

Stay in – how boring – but what’s this?…The Vines on Later with Jools Holland…good god I love Craig so much….this leads to bad impressions of Craig being done for the rest of the month….

Saturday 17th

Richie poos moved in today….hurrah!

Tuesday 20th

Lucy’s leaving do (done in style at the Stock pot with lots of wine). Very sad. I’ve only just got to know Luc and now she moves to New Zealand….

Wednesday 21st

Today we all find out that not only have we lost our deposits due to letting agent nastiness but we also have to move out in 6 months. Very depressed indeed…

Thursday 22nd

Got a telephone call today…a close friend of the family died on Monday. Just had his 40th birthday. Heart attack out of the blue.


Saturday 24th

Working Homelands guest bar. Only get to watch De La Soul and The Streets (who fucking outrock so many bands I’ve seen recently). After our shift Jess and I join Hels and Lornie who are working on the vodka jelly and herbal high stalls and proceed to eat/drink them out of any profits.

Sunday 25th

6am – getting coach back into London, grinding teeth, listening to White Stripes and The Libertines on the headphones, and wishing for a bed….

6pm – Lorna, Jess and I all under duvets on the floor watching shit films and groaning loudly….I feeel soooooo bbbbbaaaddddd….

Monday 26th

Alwyn’s funeral – I’ll update later.

Wednesday 28th

Lornie birthday – we all go to Candy Box but I leave early (well, 1.45am) ‘cos I’m still feeling down and out ill and run down. I get woken up by Little Chris at 4.30am ringing me to tell me that he saw a girl get hit in the street, that he didn’t get off with the girl that my mates will tell me that he did, he then got in a really bad mood just because I’m going to a different club night tomorrow (a one off too, I’ll be back in his bloody clubs for the rest of my life after tonight

You Are A Black Goth. You Are Evil And Only Depend
On Your Self.


What Color Goth Are You?
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I will be updating soon - I promise!!!

and...and...I eating real nice food - hurrah!

I am currently in Hastings having a week off work...I feel wrecked. I have no idea why but a certain young lady does! . OH DEAR!!!

We apart from the Saturday/Sunday madness we all went out on Thursday to Smash and Grab (SMASH IT!). Courtney, once again in full drag - looking fantastic (but who did actually get too drunk and elbow me in the head causing minor concussion - bless 'im!). My ladies were looking good too...50's retro housewife is the look of the season, pearls out ladies! We got tres drunk and I felt awful the next day at work. So awful in fact that Jess and I stayed in on Friday (after much discussion, Magic 8 Ball consulting - which it has to be said was no help at all).

Today was the Green Man Festival in Hastings, lots of morris dancers, drummers, groovy costumes and bikers about. The parade through the town was really good fun - loads of noise and general pagan May Day celebration nonsense. Then we went to look at the motorbikes - lusting over bikes (and it has to be said some of the bikers too) was great fun. Then back to the parentage where I fell asleep (still knackered now!). Then I woke up watched bad Bank Holiday movies, a fantastic Twelfth Night adaptation and the 100 greatest movie stars (which mainly consisted of me lusting rather loudly over Chris Walken - I LOVE THAT MAN! and quoting word for word loads of the clips that were played, then Dad and I replayed Taxi Driver "You looking at me?" scene which shit accents). All in all a fun day!

Well, we managed to dye Courtney's hair but there was bleach left over so I now have a pink streak in my normal 'blacker than the blackest night' hair. I have had every colour under the sun hair but I've been just black for around 3 years now and I was beginning to get really bored. I haven't had coloured streaks for ages...makes me feel young again....hurrah!

Haven't got any plans for tonight (except an early night...boost myself up for the weekend of vileness...). I have a feeling that I'll end up wearing black, black, pink tye combo again, which is ok but not great, maybe I could have a look for a pink skirt to wear over the trousers??? OOOhhhhhh I'm really liking the pinkness theme...

and tonight, Courtney is coming over to do his hair! Hurrah, hurrah!

So, another major gap between writing!

24th Thursday – Chris and Herb open Smash and Grab. Jess, Courtney and I spend hours getting ready (and drunk). Courtney gets into full drag – mini-skirt, fishnets, boots, boobs, etc. He looks amazing!

We meet up with Lorna and Helen and then go the club. Cameo’s is my home away from home…blue glitter walls, white leather sofas, fish tanks, piano theme bar, mirrors everywhere!!!

We danced all night and drank way too many whiskeys (only £1.50).

Jess ended up chatting to some guys who were down for a weekend who we tried to make come back to ours for Barcardi (the good looking one was up for it but got talked out of it by his mate). Chris waited with us for the nightbus while doing tres cute impressions of his nephew (arrrhhhh, bless ‘im).

Managed to get up for work the next day – although I felt awful until Jess rang and shouted “BEDROCK, BEDROCK, BEDROCK!!!” at me, when I suddenly livened up a little!

Darian came over to photograph some of the Cardboard Citizens actors on Friday during the day. It was lovely to see him but I had to rush off to the Michael Clark evening at the Barbican with Chris (S. Af.) – which was amazing, beautiful, moving, breathless, divine, funny – the man is a wonderful chorographer…wonderful (I have dreamed about seeing his work for so long and there I was with one of my favourite lovies, seeing Michael Clark!).

Met Lorna, Helen, and Jess again and went to the club. I was in weird mood – hungover, tired (only 2 hours sleep) and beside myself with period pains. Craving of vodka and wankers in the queue made me bark at Jess-ka (so she avoided me for most of the night – fair enough). One the way in one young man who we have named “Liiaamm” (think Liam with an over-excited American accent) pushed me out of the way to brush his shitty monkey lover hair cut out into a feathercut – TWAT!!!

Downed a few vodka and cranberry’s later and suddenly stopped yawning, felt better and started dancing.

Later, a man who kept nicking Jess’ hat, did it once too often so Jess pushed him, no reaction, Lorna pushed him, no reaction, I pushed him and he fell for ages – hurrah!

Saturday night I met Jess after her concert, had a few drinks then met Lorna and Carla to go to After Skool – kinda evil ‘cos it ain’t Chris’ club! Spent some time in the bar looking at feathers and being very loud and taking about wanking…until I cracked at 2pm and demanded some dancing…great up until the last moment when I went to get our bags and one girl refused to give me Jess’ bags saying “but there’s only one, there’s only one” over and over again – sent me into a rage (again – DOH!). But basically this girl had told Jess that there was no problem with her loosing her ticket and that she’s keep the bag back but she hadn’t. The bag had pretty much everything in it, so Jess was in a major rage. So major, that we ended up speaking to the manager (JIM FAGAN!) for ages and refusing to move…then Big Mac (Chris’ promoter) turned up and called us “traitors!” for going to After Skool instead of ‘Scope. In the end we left, got asked to go to Liverpool by a very attractive young man (umm, we didn’t go), got involved in a fight between two gangs of boys (some of whom were very beautiful indeed…), and managed to get the nightbus home.

Sunday we crashed in front of the telly and Lucer cooked us roast dinner – hurrah, hurrah.

It has been mentioned to me that I haven't spoken about "the war" at all, I have one thing to say "listen to Bill Hicks" ok? oookkkaaayyy...

BILL HICKS ON IRAQ (1992)

(Iraqi voice) We surrendah! (George Bush voice) Not good enough. (Iraqi voice) We run away! (George Bush voice) Too little, too late! Call me a wimp, c'mon, fuckers, c'mon! Hold him back! Those guys were in hog heaven over there, man. They had a big weapons catalogue opened up. (Hillbilly voices) What's G-12 do, Tommy? See, it says here it destroys everything but the fillings in their teeth, helps us pay for the war effort. Well, fuck, pull that one up! Pull up G-12, please. SHOOP. BOOM! Cool, what's G-13 do? Big Sears weapons catalogue. 'Weapons, for all occasions!'

You know. See, everyone got boners over the technology, and it was pretty incredible. Watching missiles fly down air vents, pretty unbelievable. But couldn't we feasibly use that same technology to shoot food at hungry people? Know what I mean? Fly over Ethiopia, "There's a guy that needs a banana!" SHOOP. The Stealth Banana. Smart fruit! I don't know.

Once again, I was watching the fucking news, and it really threw me off. It depressed everyone, it's so scary watching the news, how they built it all out of proportion, like Iraq was ever, or could ever possibly, under any stretch of the imagination be a threat to us-wwwwhatsoever. But-watching the news, you never would have got that idea. Remember how it started, they kept talking about 'the Elite Republican Guard' in these hushed tones like these guys were the bogeymen or something. Yeah, we're doing well now, but we have yet to face-THE ELITE REPUBLICAN GUARD. Like these guys were twelve feet tall, desert warriors. KRRASH. NEVER LOST A BATTLE! KRRASH. WE SHIT BULLETS! Yeah, well, after two months of continuous carpet bombings and not one reaction at all from them, they became simply, 'the Republican Guard.' Not nearly as elite as we may have led you to believe. And after another month of bombing, they went from 'the Elite Republican Guard' to 'the Republican Guard' to 'the Republicans made this shit up about there being guards out there'. We hope you enjoyed your fireworks show. It was so pretty, and it took our mind off of domestic issues! The Persian Gulf Distraction. People said, "Uh-uh, Bill, Iraq had the fourth largest army in the world." Yeah, maybe, but you know what? After the first three largest armies, there's a real big fucking drop-off, all right? The Hare Krishnas are the fifth largest army in the world, and they've already got our airports, okay, so. I think that's the greater threat right now. Mr. Onion Head in Terminal C is scaring the shit out of me. Get him away from me. What an amazing thing, though. You know, and the amazing thing, obviously, the disparity and the casualties. Iraq - one hundred and fifty thousand casualties, USA - seventy-nine. Iraq - one hundred and fifty thousand, USA - seventy-nine. Does that mean that if we had sent over eighty guys, we still would have won that fucking thing, or what? One guy in a ticker-take parade: (Hillbilly voices) I did it, hey! You're welcome! Good work, Tommy, how'd you do it? I pulled up G-12! It was in the catalogue! Worked like a charm! You know, my biggest problem with the whole thing was that blood lust that came out of everyone, you know, this blood lust, man, it's really unbelievable.

The White Stripes were amazing!!! We had managed to get tickets mid-week when they released extras. Jess, Ellie and I were taking Luce for a birthday surprise (she had guessed by the time we were getting near Brixton!). Jack and Meg were fantastic - Meg all in white looking tres cute-a-rama and Jack in the tightest trousers (which showed him to his best!), one side black, one red. Beautiful music, beautiful people - so sexy too. The passion with which they played infected the whole crowd. I truly found it the horniest gig that I have ever been to. And then when they played a cover of 'Isis' by Bob Dylan I almost died, I have literally fantasised about them playing that since I heard a version of 'One More Cup of Coffee' from the Desire album - and they did.

So, heading to Bedrock all hyped up and over excited - I ended up chatting to lovely gay couple re: Jack White's overly tight trousers and unmistakable hard dick (typical of me some would say!). We get to Bedrock and it's so packed you can't actually move - so I get 4 vodka and tonics at the bar and stand by the door with Jess complaining about "tourists in our club" (such wankers that we are!). I remember having a good time and not much more than that.

Ellie woke me up in the morning to see a video that she got out 'The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood' – it’s not a great film but in my hung over state I wept like a child through most of it!

I then watched ‘Thirteen Ghosts’ which was the crappest horror film I’ve seen in a long time! Then Cagney and Lacey was on! Oh dear god, trapped in an 80’s Saturday afternoon! Then I had the hottest loveliest bath and Lornie came home from the park and made me dinner. We then dressed up to go, drank white wine on the tube (classy, eh?), met Jessie at her work and drank possibly the foulest vodka on earth!

We met up with Carla to go to ‘Scope to see Little Chris and Herb DJ. I haven’t been to this club in years (apart from this New Year which was shit) so I was quite looking forward to it. It was, however, a pretty shit night all in all – I was in a foul mood due to not getting nearly enough attention from a certain young man…(although Jess did later cheer me up with an amusing rendition of ‘Seven Nation Army’ by the White Stripes – you fool!). We were drinking Bacardi Breezers, which for girls who are used to vodka and whiskey was a little boring. We took the piss out of a Liiiaaaamm (a special breed of feathercut boy, who lives/looks/acts like the twat Liam Gallagher) who was snogging random girls on the dance floor and then throwing them aside, all the while carrying a young lady around with him. Very amusing, he was literally doing Liiiaaaaammm impressions onstage at one point, with a tambourine mind, to The Stone Roses ‘I Wanna Be Adored’ – this was one of the funniest things that happened all evening – god help me!

Carla then went home to get a shag from her feathercut neighbour – bizarre. The rest of us went home and slept till 1pm the next day. We then proceeded to lay on our front room floor (bat cave or squat – depending on our mood!) with our duvets, the telly on and ate for the next 10 hrs. Lots of fun…not going to ‘Scope again though.

A lot of us mates have joined Nation States and our egos (or at least I know mine has) have gone haywire! Have a look at mine

I "got off" with a lovely young man last Friday who I have now had a text conversation with – I’ll keep y’all updated!

And finally, tonight I have ‘The Handmaids Tale’ at ENO with Damaris – should be fun (and means that we can pop into Café in the Crypt for something nice to eat – hurrah, hurrah!).

oh my god jack and meg and blues and rock 'n' roll and love songs and...and...oh good god, hyperventilating, *gets brown bag*, *regulates breathing* I'm fine, I'm fine...

And ten days later I actually get a moment to write something down!

The Boal lecture went really well - and I managed to get Augusto and Adrian into a taxi pretty sharpish post talk - literally battering girly drama students out of their way! They went onto Bristol for more training and I went to comedy with the girls. Very good fun, esp. the dark, bitter, just about to get divorced gothy guy.

Tuesday - I had a day of training re: Disability Discrimination Act at OSW. It was really informative but I got out at around 4pm to loads of messages on my phone re: my not being at work - goddamn I had told everyone AND put it in my microsoft diary! Went home in a really bad mood. Work is getting majorly stressful with all the training courses at the moment.

Wednesday - I had to go to Manchester to be around for the course there on Thursday morning. Johnny Marr was playing and I was in the student village area - so lots of feathercut passed my way (I thought of Jess and Lorna and their feathercut obsession!)

Thursday - It seemed like the course was going well. Until that is Adrian rang me at lunchtime complaining that the ASDA was too far away. Now my boss tends to overreact to little things so, it wasn't exactly complaining as more shouting at me. I then answered back saying that I disagreed with him! ooohhhh, I have wanted to do that for so long, we stopped the phone conversation and I literally cried...he has had me so stressed recently and all my friends/family were bored shitless with me going on about it! It does seem to have cleared the air though, which is good because he was the only reason that I was considering leaving a job that I adored.

Friday - our Schools tour had finished so we all finished early and descended on the local pub. Unfortunately as I had had no lunch or dinner, I managed to get very drunk very quickly! Hurrah, hurrah I'd spilt a pint by 7pm - hurrah, hurrah!

Jess and Lucy then came to meet me to go to see the Faint - who really do rock BTW - they were so sexy and dark and fun and gothy and 80's synth and...and...oh good god, hyperventilating, *gets brown bag*, *regulates breathing* I'm fine, I'm fine...

We then went to Bedrock, to meet up with Lorna who was having her leaving do. We were all beyond pissed up by now...so much so that I got off with Lorna's ex-boyfs best friend, Joe. It did seem to be a major geek love fest though as we had to keep stopping to push up our glasses! Proceeded to ignore mates most of the night, except when Lorna feel asleep on my lap which didn't impede on my getting off skills whatsoever!

Managed to get home, Jess running behind us (we left her in the club with some unsuitable young man). Didn't take Joe home, as I knew how pissed I was and how awful I'd feel in the morning (thus leading to utter hatred of all men esp. those in my bed that won't get out - I HATE one night stands when pissed - actually I only ever had one but I hated it with so much passion that it must never happen again).

Saturday - missed a matinee, shame on me but too drunk still. I had however pulled myself together enough to meet S&M Chris for Foi by the company Les Ballets C de la B - it was amazing. It seemed to be set in a post-11th Sept wasteland, the performers embody either angels or self-absorbed humans. The humans being moved, tickled and manipulated by the angels. It touched beauty, fun and emptiness - issues covered included HIV, Adam and Eve, birth, sex, violence, terror, and on and on....

Monday - a gang of us went to the Comedy night again. Jess, Lorna, Chris and Jan came along. The shows weren’t as great this time as people we trying out there Edinburgh shows. A little painful at times, it must be said. We did, of course, end up in Heaven with Little Chris. He did buy us tequila and chocolate to get us there though!

We had a very fun evening (but my holding hands and flirting with a certain young man is getting out of hand – I am in major danger of getting my heart broken, as I really don’t think he looks at it quite like I do…oh well, que será será).

Tuesday – I only had a half-day at work, as I was meeting Damaris and Richie for a training day at Stratford Circus. The day itself wasn’t very interesting but there were some previews of shows that look quite good and a chance to put faces to some names. However, the fact that I was out of work led to me being hyper and over excited. We went into town to meet Jess during her break between concerts but she was having a crisis so we went to see the Self-Portrait exhibition at the Portrait Gallery. Some of the pieces were amazingly beautiful, to see how people see themselves is so strange…

Damaris and I went for apple crumble and custard in St. Martin’s café and then I went home to my bed and slept for hours!

Wednesday – I met up with South African Chris (we really must find a better nickname for him) to see Macbeth at the Barbican. I went laden with white chocolate fudge – which is really the best thing in the world, to cheer him up with. This worked for some time but the show, oh my god, the show was bad. There were funny bits in it but most of it, oh my god, I was so glad it was over…and so was Chris.

Which brings us to today (Lucy’s birthday, hurrah!) Debrief re: the training courses this afternoon – update later as to whether I still have a job or not!!! Nice night in this evening I think.

But tomorrow The White Stripes and Jack White (have you seen the picture of his thighs in this weeks NME!) and Meg White and blues and rock ‘n’ roll and…and...and...oh good god, hyperventilating, *gets brown bag*, *regulates breathing* I'm fine, I'm fine...

And then Bedrock (if we can talk Ellie and Lucy into it).

Minor addition to the weeks notes: Last night I got up after I had put myself to bed to try on a skirt that I fancy wearing tomorrow, just to check that it looked ok with the top I wanted to wear – living with girls for the first time is having a very weird effect on me! Plus my top, headscarf and necklace all match today – hellppppp mmmmmeeeee, I’m a real giiiirrrrrllllll after all…….

Hiya, had a lovely weekend in Hastings - went to see Jan's youth theatre lots show - which was good fun, if a little hectic! Jan royally embarrassed me by shouting across the room "Boudicca, you're SMOKING!" (Jesus, I'm 26 that stage should be over now, surely?).

We went for fish and chips at the Mermaid on Sunday afternoon and then shopping (I, of course spent too much money on CD's and books). Then on the way home I get a text from the girls demanding my presence at home (Lornie's back from snowboarding - hurrah!). Got back just as roast dinner was being served (hurrah!) and sat in front of the telly for the next few hours. It is just Jess and I but is William and Mary on ITV just the sweetest Sunday evening television that we've had in a long time?

Well, tonight Boal is doing a lecture at the Cochrane, which will hopefully be over by 8pm so I can go to the comedy with the girls!

You're a decent Manics fan. Be proud. Not many
people can accomplish this.


What kind of Manic Street Preachers fan are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm so tired - I have been doing two weeks of training courses and I spent last night dreaming about our lecture at the Cochrane on Monday going horribly wrong! The chairs weren't there, no techs were about, the lights were all breaking, then my two bosses shouted at each other over my head! I woke up very tired indeed!

Saturday was another day with dad; we did mange to get to the Aztecs this time (might have had something to do with the Stop The War march). Pretty good exhibition, but I think we both enjoyed the Tony Robinson kids commentary a little more than we should have! Tea in St Martins again, which has become one of my new favourite place (absolutely nothing to do with the long hair goth boy that works there, oh no - who by the way spoke to me and I literally couldn't reply more than a squeaky 'yep, uh hu' - duh!). Later we went to Masion Beautx for cake and more tea - lovely, jubley.

Mind you, the tiredness might have something to do with the excessive drinking and partying. Saturday night, Jess and I were going to see Interpol. We started in the house with brandy shots and it got worse. Interpol were fantastic, the bass player had ultimate heaviness (see this link for more info). We then, of course, fancied going clubbing. We ended up at the After Skool party (which nice club as it is, is in a uni bar and will never escape that 'uni bar' feel - that and the toilets have lockers for your games kit in!). We knew when we were beyond drunk when the song that got us up to dance was Justin Timberlake (which I adore but Jessie doesn't!). We drank more, danced more, Jess then left me with some random man and disappeared for a while (I say a while, she actually left me outside for 1hr 20mins...in the cold...not answering her phone....but y'know these things happen!).

We managed to get home and collapse - the major thing is that Jess was meant to be getting a plane at 12.30 the next day from Luton...which of course she didn't make...leading to her feeling very guilty (it was a holiday to see a mate). We ended up instead having curry and watching Don Juan DeMarco - uummmm, lovely day in.

On Monday, we had cocktails at Soma (2 '4' 1 - hurrah, hurrah). But the boss rang me, the taxi driver rang me, I felt overly important and annoyed my friends....

On Tuesday Jess, Damaris and I went to visit our BA (Hons) Arts Management course. They were doing an event at Ocean. Multi-media, so, y'know, some of it was good and some was bad. There was this amazing woman, with black balloons and bizarre electro music - lots of fun. But of course, oh dear, we had got quite drunk and ended up getting the night bus the wrong way down mile end road - duh! But we soon got back and had chips and bed to think about.

On Wednesday Jess, Little Chris and I went to the Cochrane to see The Laramie Project. Nice and depressing...so much so that I wept. So y'know, we had to go out clubbing to cheer ourselves up. Popped into Metro's for a few cheap drinks and to pick up Andy. There was an amazing band playing. Well, an amazing guitarist and bearable band (reminder to self, ask Chris what they were called!). We then went to Candy Box, bumping into Herb on the way, and preceded to get very drunk on cheap whiskey - hurrah, hurrah. Managed to get home, but I was late for work (but only by half an hour).

On Thursday - after the last few days I was feeling bad and majorly run down. So, I made a lovely healthy carrot and ginger soup and went to bed early - good Bou!

Tonight, S&M Chris and I have a plan A and a plan B - either Ballet Boys at South Bank (if we can get stand by tix) or last three episodes of Angel and pizza. Both options involving attractive men!

Tomorrow will involve escaping to Hastings to visit parentage and eat fish and chips!

You're the Tortured Artist. You do anything and
everything; from water colours, to morbid
poetry, to emo music and zines. Nobody
understands you and they never will, but that's
alright because you have your art. You're
extremely intelligent and diverse, but perhaps
a little cinical. That's okay though, the world
can bite you and you can make up a short story
about then illustrate it yourself.


What Is Your Inner Artist?
brought to you by Quizilla

Gosh it seems like a really long time since I've written anything! I've been v. busy at work with our training courses (anyone who know anti-stress tool that isn't danish pastry based please let me know a.s.a.p.!). I have also been told that I'm going to Manchester to help with those training days too. It is quite interesting, esp. meeting a wide range of different people. Some people have done the most amazing things (I get to read and type all their biogs) that I could only dream of....

Last ever Ticketmaster works drinks was on Friday - I of course can't actually remember anything past around 10ish - but apparently all I did was look cute and say "I'm soooooo drunk!" a few times. Bedrock went in a blur...then we were outside in the cold and some random man started chatting to me (he actually turned out to be the mate of the man that got off with my mate, and he isn't actually gay like we thought he was...). He was refusing to tell me his name but then Chris came up and said "Hi Arron, you've met Boo then?" Ha, ha!

Saturday - my Dad was in London for a few hours between visiting my baby bro (baby as in, 23 and 6' 3"...but still my little 'un) in Newcastle and going home to Hastings. We were gonna go to the Aztecs but the q was massive. We instead went to the National Portrait and National Gallery and then we got chocolate fudge cake at St Martin's cafe in the crypt - the best ever, with real yummy cream!!! I insist that every one goes there once in their lives!

I had a hangover and Dad was tried from travelling all day but we had a lovely time.

Sunday was the best - Jess and I met Richie at Archway. We bought lovely picnic things and then walked up to the pools on Hampstead Heath. We sat and watched the world go by, eating and sunning ourselves...we then went to the top of Parliment Hill and wandered down into Hampstead. A charity shop later, we went home and Jess and Richie cooked the most amazing vege curry which we enjoyed with a rather drunk Lucer and Kever (who had also had a good day by all accounts!).

Finally moved into the new house! Hurrah, hurrah - although my arms and back are aching from lugging all my stuff upstairs (apart from the filing cabinet which Kev mainly moved!). Got to start getting settled in now - managed to sort out my clothes, get my fairy lights up and get my feather boas out! The CD collection though - oh my god, that's gonna take ages to sort out!

Good News:

Passed Lesson 2 of Wicca First Degree

Bad News:

Manics finally sell out beyond resuce - they now own a posh private members club in Cardiff. (news from Popbitch central). AND I though that their songs on adverts was fucking awful...fucking cunts!

Manic Street Preachers Lyrics
" Gold Against The Soul "

Somebody told me to vote conservative
Tragedy is not known under this dimmest of lights
Everybody feels sick by the courtesy of dismay
Was I schooled without direction

Gold against the soul
Rock n' roll has a conscience
It supplies convenience
Gold against
Against the soul
Against the soul

Close the pits sanctify Roy Lynk an O.B.E.
Shareholding a piece of this fucking country
Fossilize - make Yorkshire into a tourist resort
And dream of new ways to humble the poor

Gold against the soul
White liberal hates slavery
Needs Thai labour to clean his home
Gold erodes
Erodes the soul
Erodes the soul

A 1000 Marlboro death ignored everyday
And who gives a shit about sexuality

Gold against the soul
Working class cliches start here
Either cloth caps of smack victims
Gold destroyed
Destroyed the soul
Destroyed the soul

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Which British Band Are You?

Well, well, well, who would have thought?????

Ummmhhhh, Nicky Wire rocks (and little Sean Moore is sooo cute in this photo - bless 'im).

So, my birthday drinkies started off quite odd, the Vibe Bar on Brick Lane - it's a cool enough place, but with too many 'try-hards'. I don't think that I've seen so many uncool people trying to be cool in one place before!
But then Abby and Courtney turned up and we had a few drinkies (and I started on the Whisky and Lemonade - a sure sign that I'm up for a fun evening!). We got bored went outside, did South Park voices, got bored, needed food...met Damaris outside the bar and walked up to get bagels from the 24hr place near the top of Brick Lane...the best in the world. We then all wandered up to Plastic People for Our Disco. The door was shut (it's now 10.40pm and it's meant to open at 10pm!). Went to another bar for a while, came back and they let us in...but we were the first there. The first round for all 4 of us cost £12 - at which point a couple of us thought that we may as well take some class As instead of buggering around with that sort of money! So, starting to get a bit merry, Athol (workmate) and a couple of his friends turn up - they stay for 1/2hr and then leave for some reason...
Mates turn up: Jess, Lornie, Carla, Helen, Chris K and S&M Chris. We proceed to party! Feathercut watching, drug taking (the drinks were at least £3 each, so not much of that), laughing, dancing to cool electro music (The Faint - hurrah!) and literally owning a corner of the club!!!

All lots of fun, Courtney, Jess, Damaris and I then left to join the q for 333 but soon got bored, when on an illegal alcohol run. Got an illegal taxi back to Jess' but most of us had got a little worse for wear. Jess and Lornie had both forgotten their keys so they had to wake Ellie up to let us in. Tried to roll a joint to calm down but with no papers and no baccy it got a little impossible. We chatted for a bit and then Damaris, Courtney and I went to get the 2 night buses home (mind you, it's not far just awkward!). When we got in the Chris' were watching porn (skin head, 18 cert, that S&M Chris got sent by an anon. admirer - that's another story!) and drinking tea. All sat around for a bit chatting and then I went to bed. S&M Chris and Damaris stayed up for a while chatting (although Damaris does insist that Chris hypnotised her and then quizzed her about her life!!!).

Got up quite early, feeling ok and watched Saturday morning telly - y'know, I'll happily admit that although I've been a fag hag since birth I have never actually knowingly fancied a homosexual until, that is, Brian Dowling. I KNOW that it's wrong but he's very funny and attractive...and I must keep telling myself that it is WRONG - goddamn it!

Then I went to pick up my mother, Jan from Ten and Ian's house. We had a big night planned but ended up having Chinese, DVD's and sleeps under comfy covers on the sofa. I also 'amused' her with my Lord of the Rings commentary, which basically runs along the lines of "Jesus Christ, I LOVE Aragorn, he's so sexy, oh my god, I love this bit, look at that, it's scary, oh Aragorn I'll have your sword if Frodo doesn't want it, he's blantly bad, he's Christopher Lee" etc...and then we watched Dogma and I proceed to lust over Alan Rickman, ummm snarling..... Nice evening!

Sunday I moved my stuff to the girls house (where I move in on Wednesday night) Due to traffic jams, the car demanding a rest and a drink, the need to clean my old room, etc. it took almost 8hrs to do 3 car loads! Arrrggghhh, I HATE moving.

Jan then made a lovely dinner, magickly, from an empty cupboard, like only a mum can do and S&M Chris and I welcomed the new housemates in. They seem very, very, sweet - Lotfi and Sara who had brought a bottle of wine and had rolled up within an hour of moving their stuff in - I have a very good feeling about leaving Chris with them (oh, an over-protective mother moment - I am sorry!).