Nicky Wire's debut album...I Killed the Zeigeist

The album is wonderful - ragged, post-punk, inspired, rage-filled, nihilistic, romantic and beautiful.

"I killed the zeitgeist
Switched off all the lights
Glazed like aching snow
Or metaphors for love"

"We will walk together
We will never part
We'll tattoo ourselves
And each others hearts"

Sound a likes - The Jesus and Mary Chain, Lou Reed, John Cale and Tom Waits.

'Well I think the British Government, they should really open their eyes and smell the coffee.'

- Muslim protester Abu Izzadeen in interview with John Humphrys

Yep, that quote sums up the interview really...

'Significant' happenings from the last week:

• The abunance of car crash tv on the telly - I've seen so many 'real' people cry on tv this week (note to self: stop wasting your life on this shite).
• Richard Hammond walking and talking - bless the hamster.
• Smear tests - why oh why, do you ache for ages afterwards even if it doesn't hurt at the time.
• Bad weather = the resurgence of warm, lovely food. Noodle tom yum soups ahoy.
• Spending too much money on shows. Dance Umbrella line up rocks this year.
• The reopening of the Young Vic and the surrounding publicity campaign - very excited.
• Lots and lots of work...mainly accounts. The joy!
  

So, Stephen Fry: The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive final installment yesterday evening depressed me. I have suffered from a number of depressive episodes in my life and have had an eating disorder from a young age (which, fingers crossed, I no longer allow myself to 'suffer' from) but this programme made me so angry. I'd love to be able to "let go" and let myself slip into my black moods but I can't. I don't have my fame/fortune or mummy and daddy to fall back on. I have to work, I have to keep myself afloat, I have to keep myself together enough to get to work.

That's not to say that I don't have my dark periods when I feel like I can't go on. There are period when just getting out of bed is an effort but I have to make that effort and bloody hell other people should too. The sheer self indulgence - my madness is my creativity, I refuse to take medicine that may help stabilise me (although you claim to care what the people close to you feel like - what do you think they feel when you're majorly up or down?). What a load of annoying rubbish.

Might have been those diet doctors that put me in the bad mood first though. Over-indulgence and under-activity were the flaws this week...made me want to eat chocolate and not exercise...oh, I do that already...

"I'm more interested in the future of the Arctic circle than the future of the Arctic Monkeys"

Gordon Brown is wonderful*. I watched Panorama about him last night and it made me even more convinced that he should lead New Labour into the next election. I don't mind that he's a Scot who has a dark moods (hello, Winston Churchill! - for much of his life, Churchill battled with depression which he called his 'black dog') he will be a great leader.

*I've alway had a bit of a thing for Gordon Brown. Yes, I know it's wrong. He's my DYLF (dad you'd like to fuck), that sweeping hair thing he does sends shivers down my spine.

At last...

I've been involved in planning a surprise party and it's finally happened so I can now write freely about it - it's been so difficult keeping it quiet! Jane, Helen and I organised a surprise wedding party for Jess and Turtle. They thought that they only had a family meal to deal with on Saturday night but when they came through to the gallery at St Martin's they found they had a whole lot more! All the hard work was worth the look on their faces when they came in.

Edited highlight (and lowlights)

DJ Nonce throwing out some love classics
Drunken/drugged mates dancing to the love classics
Too much fizz
Seeing all those family and friends mixing and chatting
Jessie's sister in law coming to London even though she's about to give birth at any moment (and looking positively blooming of course!)
Proud parents
Wonderful, supportive chats about the death of parents and how you get through the dark times and move on
Bloody taxi queues
Carla getting mugged and bitten
Homophobic abuse and teeth getting knocked out
Too many black eyes to mention

Usual night out for the rats!

A charity single that rocks...?!*?

I've just heard the great new song for Strummerville - a recording of The Clash track 'Janie Jones' by Carl Barat, The Rakes, Mystery Jets, The Holloways, We Are Scientists, The Paddingtons, Larrikin Love, Cazals, Noisettes, Good Books, Lady Fuzz, Kooks, Jack Penate, Laura Marling, Maccabees, Lisa Moorish, Light Speed Champ (Test Icicles), Jamie T, Jeremy Warmsley and Guillemots. The single goes on sale on 30th October and the proceeds raise money for the Joe Strummer Foundation for New Music.

Richard Hammond....

I don't really have a passion for cars yet I watch Top Gear for the lovely Richard Hammond, I'm very sad to hear about his accident and fingers crossed that he'll pull through.

It's been a busy, busy time...

11th September
Stayed up late, getting drunk with the ladies waiting and waiting for Jess and Matt's wedding broadcast - we found out (at midnight) that they hadn't paid for the broadcast! All that over excitement for nothing...

12th September
Get up horribly early and travel to St Ives. Wonderful views from the window - fields, white horses and seascapes.
Arrive at the B&B - amazing view over one of the many beaches that St Ives has.
Find the nearest ale pub and eat mussel's - yummy!

13th September
After various work phone calls/texts the boyf finally manages to get me to turn my phone off!
Tate visit - not really very inspiring but the cafe and views are nice.
Eat and drink a little too merrily...

14th September
3 jugs of Long Island Ice Tea have taken their toll on my body. Feel awful and sleep on the beach while boyf makes sand sharks. I wake with a painful strip on sunburn on the small of my back.
Eat at the St Andrew Bistro - I manage 2 starters and a pudding. The art on the walls is interesting but the food is too expensive for what it is...

15th September
Rather rough boat trip to seal island, boyf goes a lovely green colour. I'm rough too but I adore being on the sea!
Go to a pub for a Cornish night and a Cornish Seafood Platter. I manage to find the only gay in the village behind the bar, boyf is impressed. Cornish Platter is...good god...I'm lost for words...amazing...wonderful...yummy.

16th September
Swimming in the cold sea. I laugh out loud, full of joy and mouthfuls of seawater. Truly relaxed and happy for the first time in months.
Last min gift shopping - try not to eat too much of the Cornish cream fudge myself!

17th September
Journey home is nightmarish - 8 hours due to a fire near the tracks outside Reading. London transport hectic but still chilled from holiday and still feel happy and full of energy.

18th September
Chilled out day before I go back to work.
Get creative.
Have Hels around for coffee and then go back to the ladies for yummy fish pie.
Catch up with the newly weds, look at photos, hear stories from Burning Man and Las Vegas.

19th September
Back to work!

20th September
Get some nail extensions put on and immediately turn into a lady!
Wicked at the Apollo Victoria with Richie-roo. Catch up with him and his San Fran/Las Vegas visit. I can say without hesitation that Wicked is the most wonderful musical that I have ever seen - laugh out loud funny, great voices, great set, great costumes, great flying monkeys!

I'm keeping a picture of the view from our B&B on my desk so I can gaze at it during the day.

6 Music Heaven cont:

...and now Daisy Chainsaw's 'Love Your Money' - I don't think I can take anymore pleasure!

6 Music Radio Replay Heaven and Hell

Hell:
Trevor Lock (from Russell Brand's Sunday show) not being on last Sunday's show due to alleged rape charges - the theme of Russell's show 'innocence'.

Heaven:
CUD's Purple Love Balloon being played by Andrew Collins. I loved CUD for the 10 seconds they were famous, the track span me straight back to 1992! Must dig the albums out when I get back home...

"The first time that I saw you,
You were running scared,
You assured me,
Your clothes were making chase,
Your mouth made shapes before me,
The second time you touched me,
Your hands sent ripples through me,
My shirt was made of paisley
It's bright so I can find me.

You're one in a million, take me home,
Vague hazards roar, vague hazards moan,
You're one in a million,
And I will see you soon,
I want to take you high in my...
Purple Love Balloon.

The second time you touched me,
Your hands sent ripples through me,
My shirt was made of paisley
It's bright so I can find me.
The third time that you loved me,
A dragon was inside me,
Assured that you were of your soul
I found the essence of your whole.

You're one in a million, take me home,
Vague dragons roar, vague dragons moan,
You're one in a million,
And I will see you soon,
I want to take you high in my...
Purple Love Balloon.

I want to take you high,
In my Purple Love Balloon,
I want to thumb a ride,
In my Purple Love Balloon,
Come on baby, let's get high,
In my Purple Love Balloon
I want to take a ride
In my Purple Love Balloon
I want to make you cry
In my Purple Love Balloon"

There are advantages to your boyf being bored at work - he finds answers to all those little annoy ing questions/statements that I bombard him with at bedtime...

Where does the term straw poll come from?
Octopuses and how they poison people

He also sent me this picture of a cute kitten stating "Love you too and here is a yucky picture to prove it! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"

That boy rocks!

Stuff from the last few days

The other day, I boarded the East London line train to be greeted by the voice of my favourite driver who always says "[insert station name], if you are ending your journey here, whoever you are, whatever the weather have a fantastic day" - he always cheers me up...

I've been pretty busy at work developing a risk assessment and a fire emergency plan - it's been quite enjoyable and today I got into work and the boss had but a post it note on the work with 'Excellent work!' and a girly pink star. You often feel like you're too old for that sort of thing but I really appreciated it!

On the personal front, various people have been reappearing into my life. Some have been invited but others have appeared of their own accord. I'm looking forward to catching up with them all.

Next week:
I'm planning to watch Jessie and Turtle get married in Vegas via Carla's laptop. Hurrah!
I'm going on holiday with boy/f in St Ives. Hurrah!

Steve Irwin is dead


...and it wasn't even a croc that got him!

Nicky Wire

I can't even begin to put into words how much this man means to me - he has influenced all that I am, fed into my dreams, my cultural and symbolic understanding of the world, I classify and communicate my experiences via the Manic Street Preachers. To say I am "a fan" is an understatement.

To say he doesn't have flaws would be incorrect but negatively and positively he has influenced me, this man (and the rest of the band) guided me through from my childhood into my now adulthood; I accepted and used his words, images and influences to influence my own life. He didn't know me so it was with a non-judgemental eye I was guided.

“It’s scary to watch someone you love go into the centre of himself and confront his fears; fear of failure, fear of death, fear of going insane. You have to fail a little, die a little, go insane a little to come out the other side” Break My Heart Slowly, Nicky Wire