Improved Mood Boo...

Honestly, there's nothing like:

• eating crap Chinese
  
• seeing sexy ballet
• drinking whiskey straight from the bottle on a tube train with your mates
• being refused entry for the nightclub we were going to
  
• jumping the q at a different nightclub and still having to wait 30 mins to get in
• catching up with the ratties and West Country boys
  
• dancing to early 90's/00's indie
• squeezing into a packed night bus
• falling into bed at 5.30am

to make you feel happier!

p.s. I was woken up the following day by being sniffed and told "ha ha, you is sweating whiskey!"

Up and down.

Mostly a bad week (although lovely things have happened throughout too) - bloody busy what with the return of the boss and my desperate bid to clear my to do list so I'm free for the first couple of days to do his bidding! Depression has hit hard a few times - nothing in particular just 'the darkness'. One moment I want hibernation, a squirreling down into nothingness and then the next I'm drafting 3 page to do's about positive action and getting the creative juices flowing. What I'd really like is a equal, gentle balance rather than these extremes.

However...Lornie is in town and Hels is leaving for foreign grounds again so we're up for some good old fashioned rattie fun this weekend: food, visiting friends, food, Swan Lake and then off to HDIF dance floor fun.

Hip flasks at the ready ladies...

Odd mememe



edit: it has been pointed out to me that it should read the 'screaming of my ex-partners' (in a good way or bad way, I wonder?)

Twin Peaks and 5lbs

General aside: I lost 5lbs last week!

Due to Lucy's purchase from eBay of the TV show Twin Peaks in its entirety we have begun Twin Peaks nights at the Arther's. Rats descended after the babies had been put to sleep and after a general mates catch up we begin with episode 2 (the first season starts with episode 2 due to a pilot) and we remembered almost everything about the shows - we jumped when Bob appeared, I'm physically scared when wife beating Leo Johnson walks onto screen and swoon when Agent Dale Cooper states that he's served a good cherry pie and a "damn fine cup of coffee". I was transported back to 1991, being 14/5 years old and obsessed with this show. I used to sit next a girl in English class who seriously had the hots for 'Coop' and we discussed each episode in great detail following each showing. We shared a copy of The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer, which we also discussed in great detail. I remember at the time some people were saying how unbelievable the whole thing was but I think for teenage girls it totally rang true with everything we were going through at the time. Sex, drugs, despair and magick were constantly by my side and my good and evil side had a bloody battle every day*. Duality is part of how we grow into adulthood, how we make our choices, by exploring each side of ourselves we find the balance that we need to progress...good god, I love Twin Peaks.

*these things are still with me but to a lesser extent!

"When you cease to dream, you cease to live." - Malcolm Forbes

In an attempt to make changes my life I have:

Joined Slimming World (it seems to be the most sensible 'diet' I could find but I'm finding it difficult to rethink my eating...)

Started The Artists Way at Work again - I've done this 12 week process before but it was quite useful last time and I really do need to restart/relight my passion for my work again.

Actually taken my part time days off work and spent them catching up with Hels before she leaves for the foreign ground again and playing with Lucy and the kids at the Bow Ideas Store.

Magic Horse Brass*

I found a lovely horse brass in an office that was moving out of our building ages ago. I admired the brass with it's sun, moon and pentagram and put it into one of their boxes; not thinking anything about it since. Then yesterday, I discovered it twinkling in box of rubbish that was left next to our bins. The universe has gifted it to me - a good portend indeed.

*The original purpose was to bring good luck or to ward off the effects of the "evil eye". As superstition waned, they were used to show off the quality of horses.

Into 2007

Welcome to the new year...this is the year that I turn 30 and I intend to make changes in my life. Unhappiness has been a constant theme in my life and it is about time it came to an end. I will often feel like I'm failing but I must carry on. I will put obstacles in my way but I must find ways of crossing them.

Plans are afoot to move out of London, to sort out my "career", to get healthy, to reduce my debts (my student payments only covered the interest on the student loan this year!) and to learn to bloody well enjoy life.