"Glastonbury: a cross between a medieval refugee camp and a recently detonated circus"
Charlie Brooker, The Guardian, Monday June 25, 2007

I survived but my tent didn't!

Friday
We turned up on site on Friday evening (the boy couldn't get out of work on Friday). We found the ratties at the Herbal High stall well scrumped already - threw our stuff into the tent behind the stall...donned wellies, started supping lager and waited for the rest of the gang to return from Arcade Fire. Once they returned, Will took Lornie behind the stall and proposes (they met at Glastonbury 3 years ago, it's very romantic) We are all reduced to tears and there are big hugs for them before the boy and I hot foot it over to Lost Vagueness with Jess for her all night shift in the Space Lounge. She is forgiven for being late as everyone is very excited for Lornie and Will. Say hello to people I haven't seen for ages. Meet my brother's mate Adrian who is dressed in bin liners and pilled up. My brother's other mate is too fucked to even say hello to. We stay up with the help of much vodka and lager. Bump into a few other people outside the tent, exchange hugs and good wishes for the weekend. Make the move back across the site at 6am with Jess, we are drunk, we consume some Irish coffees, steal maltesers and go to bed.

Saturday
Hungover to fuck, stayed in the tent until 4pm. Got up watched Babyshambles (shit, out of tune crappy wardling, Kate Moss = shit). Go to Pat's stall for a catch up, drink rose wine and get temporary tattooed. Back to the Other Stage for Maximo Park (amazing) and Editors (heartbreakingly beautiful). Go back to stall to pick up a gang for Iggy and the Stooges who are very funny - stage invaded by people and Iggy can't get them back off for ages. Bass player practically fucking his bass and gurning like a total monkey. People saying "this herbal high isn't doing anything for me" and then starting to freaky dance.

Play on the stall and dance like a fool! Go to bed at a sensible 2am, get woken up by Will shouting "my grammer's broken" and the almost endless shagging sounds in the tent near to us (you know who you are!).

Sunday
Catch up on last night shenanigans. Eat loads. See The Holloways (boring but ok), Coldwar Kids (rubbish), The Go! Team (rubbish but interesting to see), The View (boring but ok), went with the ladies to see Dame Shirley Bassey (brilliant!) wait around to meet other people for the Manics. No one turns up, I see the Manics by myself. Which was fantastic. Spend some time backstage, mainly just to have a sit down! Wellies have left a blister on the back of my leg - which is going yellow.

Star spotting - James Dean Bradfield, Donny Torette, Lip from Shameless, John Simm, Jo Whiley, Andrew Marr...

Monday
Woke up at 4am, tent had leaked in the endless rain, argued with boy as unable to pack sleeping bags back into the bags. Sorted ourselves out and got off the site with Jess and Turtle and a lift from Rocket. Dropped off at Westbury station, catch the commuter train back to London. Brandy in coffee and a croissant keeps me going. Get to Paddington and take the tube back home. Some people stare and other smile. At home pull off mud soaked clothes, shower, climb into a clean bed. Get up for food, kids telly and texts from the rats still stuck on site. Reduced to tears by children climbing volcanos, go back to bed. Sleep till the morning.

Tuesday
House smells like cow poo. Boy left at home to fill the washing machine. Go to work with the smile of a person who had fucking great weekend!

Grafitti

"I wish my lawn was emo, then it would cut itself"

I just snorted coffee out of my nose...

I have the best army poncho in the world and some wellies waiting for me onsite...

Weird or Normal?

I've been thinking about getting some of my dads ashes formed into a diamond to mount on a ring but then I read the price list. Bah!

Lost

Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony, please come around. Something is lost and needs to be found

Tweak

I just had to post this picture of Cillian Murphy - it just left me totally breathless...those eyes, those cheekbones, those lips...

Stop Dreaming; Start Choosing

Buckminster Fuller. Contemplated suicide at 32 - he was bankrupt, discredited, jobless and his first child had just died. He chose to carry on living, went on to invent the geodesic dome and become a writer, educator, philosoper and poet.

Please note:

I bleeding well adore archery!

DAY OFF YESTERDAY

I did the following:

Awoke at 7am
Back to sleep by 7.20am
Awoke at 10am
Back to sleep by 11am
Awoke at 4pm
Back to sleep by 4.10pm
Awoke at 5.20pm
Crazy, rushed shower and out to meet boyf at Liverpool Street at 6pm to travel to Archery lesson.
Archery lesson, followed by a quick drink
Back home and to sleep by 11pm
Awoke today at 9am

That's almost 19hours sleep...and I'm still damn tired.

From the last few weeks

Two nights in a row seeing the Manic Street Preachers - felt 15 again but with slightly less despair.

I'm going to Glastonbury with my boyf and the ladies are all working. Hurrah!

EBay mania - new summer frocks, Edwardian umbrellas for Glastonbury, Cd's (Shiny Toy Guns), stainless steel and crystal rings, fake ear plugs body jewellery, polka dot high heels, etc.

Visiting the Turtle's afloat in Brentford.

Boyf revealing that he'd quite like to live on a boat or in a camper van for a while. This is after he poo-pooed the idea late last year when I said we could afford a whole boat with my inheritance but only part of a house!

Falling in lust with Gok Wan - every girl should have one telling her how wonderful she is!

Saying no to a job which cements that we're absolutely moving out of London at the end of the year. No idea where/what/when...oooh it's fun...

This one sent shivers down my spine last night:

Five Questions, Five Answers

Prior to his wonderful visit to New York, Mr Atrocity extended an invitation to offer ourselves up for five questions of his choosing. These are my well reasoned and immaculately thought out responses to his chosen integrations. If you’d like to join in, rules are below.

1 - What is the single best piece of non-fiction you've read?
Difficult one…I’ve read so much that has had a great effect on me…

I suppose that ‘Big Sky Mind: Buddhism and the Beat Generation’ would be a highlight. I read it when I was 19. I’d been really into the beat writers for such a long time and it was fantastic to have all the thoughts, writings and letters about such a spiritual subject all together. Mind you, William S Burroughs’ contempt at it all was the best bit!

I must mention George Orwell’s ‘Homage to Catalonia’, Tony Benn’s diaries, Marx/Engels Communist Manifesto, James St James’ ‘Disco Bloodbath: A Fabulous But True Tale of Murder in Clubland’ and all of Christopher Penczak’s magic books.

2 - Tell me about a favourite smell or scent.

The smell of fires and fireworks mixed with cinder toffee and aniseed. Bonfire night!

Plus I have a wide range of perfumes and scents for daily use. My favourites are Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab’s Malice for particularly dominant moments, Ralph Lauren’s Romance for girly moments and all my Egyptian oils (Nefertiti, Musk, Pharaoh, etc) for any time or place.

3 - Eggs: fried, poached, scrambled, soft-boiled or omlette? Why?

Gosh, depends on the mood. I do like eating eggs made in anyway/shape/form when feeling the need for a comforting nursery tea.

Fried in thick white bread, lots of butter and brown sauce. Cut in squares not in poncey triangles (I remember thinking my boyf was really posh when I saw him do that for the first time. My first thought was “this will never work” but I’m over it now…just)

Poached on wholemeal toast with brown sauce and plenty of salt and pepper. Always two slices with an egg on each.

Scrambled – the eggs must be broken into a jug first and a little bit of milk and salt and pepper added. Whisk and then add to a warm pan with a small piece of butter. The milk stops the eggs from burning and sticking to the pan.

Soft-boiled. Actually just rekindled my love for soft boiled eggs due to receiving a Peter Rabbit egg cup.

Omelette – I can’t really get my head around making omelettes but I do like a mushroom omelette with chips from a caff.

4 - Who would you have paint or photograph your portrait? Living or dead artists are fine; we have a time-travel device.

Cecil Beaton. I especially adore his pictures of Nancy Cunard and Miss Nancy Beaton as a Shooting Star. I can only dream of being so beautifully photographed.


5 - When is your favourite time of the year?

Autumn - I love looking out of a window or taking a walk and watching leaves turn from luscious green to wonderful russet and auburn. Long autumn evenings when the sky goes dark pink, warm but with a chill in the air. Lovely.

For anyone who wishes to be asked questions by me, here are the rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” And please, feel free to comment on my fabulousness, or whatever.
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Your Score: Katharine Hepburn

You scored 9% grit, 42% wit, 38% flair, and 16% class!

You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women.

Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the
Classic Leading Man Test.

Link: The Classic Dames Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

There's a black dog on my shoulder.

Normal service will resume once I've battled it and reduced it to a cute, emo puppy.

Children Write To God

Very funny indeed, have a read through them all. The best ones are on later pages.

Sacred

I went to see Ron Athey & Dominic Johnson: Incorruptible Flesh (Perpetual Wound) last night. Chelsea Theatre was a time consuming travel away from work (3 tubes and 1 bus) but the performance was more than worth that time: shamanistic, ritual, death, rebirth, relationships, sex, violence, blood, cleansing, death valley, water. Blood dripped onto the stage and took my breath away. Rather than being scared I'm happy, exhilarated and excited. Mismatched, beautiful tattooed bodies filling me with light and reconfirming my belief in life. The dark side can shine as brightly as the light.

"I am a jelly doughnut"

Due to family having to reschedule flights I am now having a long weekend in Berlin in October - huzzah!

Odd dreams

Last night I dreamt that I was getting matching tattoos with my boyf. He was getting it on his upper arm and I was getting it on the back of my neck (please excuse rubbish drawing!):

On waking this morning I realised that it was quite similar to the adidas logo:

Astrochart mememe

Name: Boudicca Lee Maloney March 3 1977 3:30 PM Time Zone is UT London, UK

Rising Sign is in 20 Degrees Leo You love to be the center of attention and you want to appear strong, confident and dominant. You are very proud of yourself, sometimes quite vain even. When all around you are bedraggled and falling apart, you look like a million bucks! Very dignified and honorable, you enjoy the power and privilege, but not the responsibilities, that come with leadership. You are very idealistic but can also be quite stubborn. Others impress you only if they have integrity (but wealth, power and influence can also turn your head). You prefer rich, elegant surroundings and possessions, and will try to acquire them as your budget allows. Physically, you are very impressive - - at your best you have a regal, charismatic demeanor and bearing. Try not to be such a showoff!

Sun is in 12 Degrees Pisces. Extremely sensitive and emotional, you absorb the emotions of others (whether positive or negative) like a sponge. Emotionally vulnerable, you are easily upset and tend to cry readily. You are at your best when you can structure your environment in such a way that you are surrounded by positive, upbeat people. You are very helpful and understanding of the needs of others. Indeed, at times this can be a disadvantage, because you can be a sucker for anyone who needs help. Shy, dreamy, romantic in nature, you delight in retreating into your private fantasy world. Just be careful that you do not get lost in it! Trust your intuitions -- you may be quite psychic.

Moon is in 16 Degrees Leo. You always want to be proud of yourself and will never do anything that will make yourself look bad. You need the respect and admiration of others and enjoy attracting attention to yourself. Everything you do tends to be self-emphasized and self-exaggerated. Very stubborn, willful and independent yourself, be sure to allow others who are close to you the similar right to "be themselves." Your need for love, affection and reassurance, and your tendency toward vanity, allow you to have your head easily turned by flattery. The more insecure you are, the more you tend to be a showoff. You love games and sports as a matter of fact, you would usually rather play than work. Be careful of a tendency to be snobbish and uppity -- it does not become you.

Mercury is in 02 Degrees Pisces. Your ideas and thought processes do not come to you in an orderly, logical fashion. Instead, you think with your feelings or with images produced by your rich and fertile imagination. A very subjective person, your dreams and fantasies are very important to you. You trust your intuitions and tend to reject ideas that are based solely on logic. Very impressionable, you are sensitive to the moods and emotional states of those with whom you come into contact.

Venus is in 21 Degrees Aries. You are a very affectionate person but you hate to be tied down. You are more than willing to be the aggressor in initiating new relationships. Indeed, once you have set your sights on someone, you tend to pursue him or her ardently and passionately. But you do demand your own way in a relationship. Try to give in to your partner's needs and desires once in a while.

Mars is in 17 Degrees Aquarius. Your ideas and opinions are usually inventive and original, but sometimes they are merely eccentric and offbeat. You are altruistic -- you will work hard for the attainment of group goals, as long as they meet your high standards. You tend to resent traditional authority figures because you think that your ideas are better thought out and more valuable than theirs. Very idealistic, you are a rebel WITH a cause!

Jupiter is in 24 Degrees Taurus. Growth only occurs for you after you have found a stable lifestyle and a dependable, protective and secure environment. You are at your best when those around you provide you with a great deal of affection and support. When you feel insecure or threatened, you tend to become possessive and grasping and self- indulgent. You are an inveterate collector with an expensive preference for all the good things that life has to offer.

Saturn is in 11 Degrees Leo. Extremely self-reliant, you set very high standards of conduct and decorum for yourself, and you expect others with whom you associate to be that way, too. It is important that you had a strong father figure or role model early in life to mold your life course and direction. When you feel that those around you are unworthy or behaving badly, you withdraw, preferring solitude rather than associating with those who might besmirch your reputation.

Uranus is in 11 Degrees Scorpio. You, and your peer group, demand to confront life at its deepest and most meaningful levels. Very compulsive and obsessive in your approach to everything, you will avoid anything that is casual or superficial, especially when it comes to relationships. You will seek out and explore new methods of healing as well as different ways to deal with deep-seated emotional problems.

Neptune is in 16 Degrees Sagittarius. You, and your entire generation, are heavily involved in investigating and idealizing foreign and exotic intellectual systems and religious philosophies. The most extreme ideals will be pursued with gusto. You will be at the forefront of humanitarian attempts to improve the lot of those who are in need of assistance. You will be comfortable with the concept of the "global village."

Pluto is in 13 Degrees Libra. For your entire generation, this is a time of radical changes in society's attitude toward marriage and interpersonal relationships. There is a general fear and awe at the power inherent in making emotional or contractual commitments -- they will not be entered into lightly.

N. Node is in 25 Degrees Libra. You find it very difficult to be comfortable being alone -- you would much prefer to be in an environment where many people are working together toward common goals. Your charming and sincere approach to others assures your popularity -- you have the gift of being able to ease tensions just by your mere presence. You're the perfect "team player" willing to sacrifice your own importance so that the group goal can be accomplished. Be careful, however, not to become overly dependent on your interactions with others -- you have personal private needs that should not be neglected.

Proved Correct (at last!)

Ages ago during a day off ill I had the (mis)fortune of seeing Big Cook, Little Cook. I knew the guys from somewhere, I thought from a comedy club. I suggested this to a number of people who all stated that I was insane and that there was no way that children's tv actors would also be rude comedians...I have been proved correct - see here. Hurrah!

Odd Feelings

I have a cold which has spread to my ear and it's making me dizzy and spaced out. What with that and the heat, I keep thinking that I'm in the deep south sipping on mint julep's and waiting on the porch for a Tennessee Williams character to appear and not at my desk in South East London waiting to go home.

I think that I need another litre of water and a painkiller.

Errh, methinks I see a pattern emerging...

Good times = baking and seeing friends
Bad times = work

Joy afoot...

• I made my first batch of strawberry jam last weekend. It's currently in the cupboard getting rich and yummy.
• I baked berry muffins - they were lovely.
• I made bailey's and almond chocolate truffles as a b/day pressie for Ross
• I played hide and see and peak a boo with Lucy's kids
• I ate a very large slice of Jessie's millionaire's shortcake
• I saw Aron's exhibition
  

Problems afoot...

• Whenever I see my 3 page to do list I panic. I work for one company but we have a number of projects so I have colour coded tasks in excel for 4 different large projects. I can tick off when each task is done. I hide the completed tasks at the end of each week. These days even the ticking doesn't make me happy.
• I'm surrounded by paperwork - my in trays are literally sagging under the pressure (as am I)
• I woke up at 3am this morning and thought about works finance for 1 hrs before finally going back to sleep.

I think that I need to clear the to do's and in trays so I can sleep soundly during Easter.

Postbox for your unwanted baby miss?

Certainly, not a problem. I'm somewhat morally conflicted about this idea...

Memories from Last Night....

• Catching up with old lecturers
• Strawberry beer
  
• Dancing like a fool to golden oldie hits
• Singing on the tube home
  

"we love the chosen one
loving him is so much fun
we love the chosen one
not as much as me!

i love him with my heart
i love him with my body part
we love the chosen one
not as much as me!

i love him in the night
i love him with my body tight
we love the chosen one
not as much as me!"

Manic Street Preachers - Underdogs

This one's for the freaks
for you're so beautiful
for all the devotion
written in your soul

This one's for the freaks
for the lost and weak
for the butterflies and devotees
and the disciples of our destiny

"All out punk metal - Alice Cooper - Stooges guitar outro. Could have been on Generation Terrorist. A celebration of the unique, a post 'Everything Must Go' address to the fans 10 years after the first time we did it. In a Britain dominated by generic, one diametrical multi branding, let us embrace the difference - the downtrodden - the losers and the opposition. Let us fall in love with individuality again" Nicky Wire

Download from their website

On the agenda for the week

(I'm a busy, busy bee though undoubtedly I seem like a boring bee)

Today
Writing up minutes from meetings
Trying to confirm dancers for rehearsals and summer shows
Worrying about the massive to do list at work

Tuesday
Writing GFA application for 2 years of work
LBSU Arts Event

Wednesday
Meetings
Organic vegetable box delivery

Thursday
Meetings
Working on the Body penultimate session. It’s been a really important process and I think that I’m actually making some progress with my life and thoughts and beliefs about myself...

Friday and the Weekend
Escorting Nana for a blood test at Kings College Hospital – haven’t been back since dad died there…
The Hellfire Club at Bethnal Green Working Mans Club – must sort out an outfit.
Quiet weekend (one can only hope)

Other Things to Think About
Personal Action Plan for self development
101 things to do in 1001 days
Reading play scripts

…

Creativity is key

…

new poem about the ifwhyhowso reason to write........by Patrick Jones

kinetic

( for ethan evan and elian.......)

whether i write a rallying cry or desolate lament
i take aim, inhale, say what is meant
a truthfired fallopian fed by fury
a metaphorical mission
an inkmind incision
that shall be my irrefutable jury

words must not just live on the pale page

but ask questions, push, speak enraged
in the speaking of, i am reaching out
sometimes a whisper, sometimes a flood

i cultivate the i, to form the we
a culture of question, an act of redemption
my wordfreedom from mind intervention
a kinetic fusion yearning to be free
in this time
a century of screams
do we write or ignite
the
paper
rhyme or crime
tolerance or violence
against - for
sing me a silence
in need of a voice
paint me a saviour
who dreams of the noose
next time,
let us pour poetry into the mouths of those who commence the killing
let all nations belong to the coalition of the willing
because poetry is just action made words
and i chant it through the wounds of this earth

i walk in the paths of heaney and aneurin
speak in tongues of celan and caedmon
i have hope in the only religion that asks nothing from me
the mountains
the sky
the stars
didn't need a maker
only forged themselves
in brown and green
and blue was the colour that allowed us to dream
now, it carries a red scream

but i still believe in the written word
the ancient stream of consciousness, my only resurrection
that sparkles through grey
the inside turned outward
i shall speak my private thoughts
and it shall be the universal conviction
the battle cry
the elegy before i die
the coughed blood of bitter verb
the crystalled clasp of once forgotten verse
the peace exists in the word
and the word exists to fight for peace
waiting, waiting to be released.

So far today I have:

• received a lovely retro jam making kit and gingerbread cookie cutter family from the boyf (nesting, moi?)
  

• had happy birthday sung to me in a Spanish style by the boys from the upstairs offices

A bit of time wasting pre-work (it is my birthday!)

The Everything Test

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

Personality You are more emotional than logical, more concerned about self than concerned about others, more religious than atheist, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more traditional than rebel, more artistic mind than engineering mind, more idealist than cynical, more follower than leader, and more introverted than extroverted. As for specific personality traits, you are intellectual (87%), romanticreligious (80%), artistic (66%). (86%),

Stereotypes Punk Rock 100% Emo Kid 100% Hippie 83%

Life Experience Sex 31% Substances 68% Travel 26%

Politics Your political views would best be described as Socialist, whom you agree with around 100% of the time.

Socioeconomic Your attitude toward life best associates you with Middle Class. You make more than 0%35% less than the U.S. average. of those who have taken this test, and

If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13. By the way, your hottness rank is 64%, hotter than 90% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite

Memories of the weekend:

• The mothers endless search for a decent coffee
• Surprise parties with balloons and party poppers - hurrah!
  
• The whole room going quiet as I said rather loudly "threesomes"
• Glorious food
• Swimming in the jungle run river
• Walking in the morning sunshine
  
• Archery rocking my world - must join a club
  
• Wiii game play
• Homemade birthday cake - I heart lovely moist carrot cake (thank you Jessie!)
  
• Amazing presents - all I could want and so much more!
  
• Dancing to 'Tragedy' by Steps (with all the moves)
• Lunar eclipses
• Turtle and Josh winning at the casino
• Class A's in one villa, caperberries and olives in the next
  
• Cockney sing-a-longs in the last land train home
  
• Hearing tales of mud slides and drunken singing in the depths of the forest - and for once it wasn't me!
  
• Riding bikes and not using the brakes until the last minute
• Drinking naughty ferret
  
• Spa heaven
• Snuggling on the sofas in front of roaring flames
• Pancake house binging prior to returning home
• Sleeping like a baby last night and having to turf myself out of bed this morning
  

I'm a very lucky lady indeedy. 14 of my favourite people all mine for a whole weekend! Thank you to you all for making it a wonderful weekend.

Birthday celebrations don't stop there - tea and cakes on Wednesday too...yummy yum yum

Lazing Posting...

I know that I've been doing lazy youtube posting recently but I'm crazy busy at work and have not been socialising much. Nothing overly fun to report. However, just about to go away for my 30th so expect rattie shenanigans update next week! I'm going to do archery, kayaking, spa and swimming - hurrah!

I just snorted coffee through my nose...

I'm not afraid to keep on living...



I do believe that I've had the MCR album playing on my headphones for a little too long - my life is becoming akin to a goth rock opera.

I'm a GOD and I'm burning off my flesh - ready for the future...

Seeing Foxes

Fox Symbolism - Cunning, provider, intelligence, magic, diplomacy, wildness.

My father was a 'Foxall'. During the time before and as he was dying my mother and I both saw a number of dead foxes. The universe is funny sometimes - it needs to give you a good old kick up the arse for you to be able to 'get' things.

Then last night, after my first Working on the Body session I stopped to see a huge dog fox in a garden. He was yards from me and just looked; and looked; and looked; and looked at me. I think I can take that as a good sign.

Thinking about Dad.

The other day when I read about Anita Roddick having Hep C; I cried all the way home. I'm sad for her and what she and her family will undoubtedly have to go through but I'm also happy that Hep C will now get the attention it deserves. It's estimated that some 200 million people around the world have it and yet in the UK there is only one organisation that is there to support people suffering and their familes. If you do think about giving to charity please, please think about giving to Hepatitis C Trust

Even if you can't donate please sign their petition here to the Prime Minister to accept that the current public hepatitis C awareness campaign is not working and that the rate of diagnosis is nowhere near enough to prevent thousands of avoidable deaths.

Be still my beating heart...Russell Brand AND Noel Fielding...



and another with Russell rambling on...

Happy Valentine's Day

Soppy cards, flowers, chocolates and gifts...you gotta love it!

Depression - a light at the end of the tunnel?

The seemingly endless depression that comes with cloudy and cold winter months is slowly but surely being abated by:

• Becoming the proud owner of tickets to all 3 London dates of Manic Street Preachers tour in May. OH...MY...GOD...who was I kidding when I said that they don't really matter to me anymore, I am so not over them at all...I almost cried for joy this morning when all my bookings went through.
  
• Beginning working of the body weekly sessions to address my fraught relationship with food.
• Losing 10lbs in 4 weeks on the Slimming World diet.
  
• Being joined in London by the lovely Julie (hurrah!) and starting walking evenings instead of joining a gym.
• Looking forward to Centreparcs in the first weekend of March (note to self: buy a new swimming costume).
• Actually looking forward to becoming 30...
  
• Crafting it up to max - you should see my new plastic bag holder and lavender bags!
  
• EBay craft shopping - leftover Cath Kidston fabric for me to play with? Yes please!
  
• EBay spends on CD's that I've denied myself for months.
• Making lovely dinners for friends
• Making, baking and creating in the kitchen - I've made some lovely spicy tom sauces that I'm very proud of.
• Planning the rest of my life with a wonderful young man that makes me extremely happy indeedy.

Now, just to get on top of the endless to do list at work and all will be sorted!

Overexcited Boo:

Tickets go on sale on Friday morning! Whoo-hoo!

See here for dates and details.

I listen to GAY music that GOD hates!

Find out if you do too here

Improved Mood Boo...

Honestly, there's nothing like:

• eating crap Chinese
  
• seeing sexy ballet
• drinking whiskey straight from the bottle on a tube train with your mates
• being refused entry for the nightclub we were going to
  
• jumping the q at a different nightclub and still having to wait 30 mins to get in
• catching up with the ratties and West Country boys
  
• dancing to early 90's/00's indie
• squeezing into a packed night bus
• falling into bed at 5.30am

to make you feel happier!

p.s. I was woken up the following day by being sniffed and told "ha ha, you is sweating whiskey!"

Up and down.

Mostly a bad week (although lovely things have happened throughout too) - bloody busy what with the return of the boss and my desperate bid to clear my to do list so I'm free for the first couple of days to do his bidding! Depression has hit hard a few times - nothing in particular just 'the darkness'. One moment I want hibernation, a squirreling down into nothingness and then the next I'm drafting 3 page to do's about positive action and getting the creative juices flowing. What I'd really like is a equal, gentle balance rather than these extremes.

However...Lornie is in town and Hels is leaving for foreign grounds again so we're up for some good old fashioned rattie fun this weekend: food, visiting friends, food, Swan Lake and then off to HDIF dance floor fun.

Hip flasks at the ready ladies...

Odd mememe



edit: it has been pointed out to me that it should read the 'screaming of my ex-partners' (in a good way or bad way, I wonder?)

Twin Peaks and 5lbs

General aside: I lost 5lbs last week!

Due to Lucy's purchase from eBay of the TV show Twin Peaks in its entirety we have begun Twin Peaks nights at the Arther's. Rats descended after the babies had been put to sleep and after a general mates catch up we begin with episode 2 (the first season starts with episode 2 due to a pilot) and we remembered almost everything about the shows - we jumped when Bob appeared, I'm physically scared when wife beating Leo Johnson walks onto screen and swoon when Agent Dale Cooper states that he's served a good cherry pie and a "damn fine cup of coffee". I was transported back to 1991, being 14/5 years old and obsessed with this show. I used to sit next a girl in English class who seriously had the hots for 'Coop' and we discussed each episode in great detail following each showing. We shared a copy of The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer, which we also discussed in great detail. I remember at the time some people were saying how unbelievable the whole thing was but I think for teenage girls it totally rang true with everything we were going through at the time. Sex, drugs, despair and magick were constantly by my side and my good and evil side had a bloody battle every day*. Duality is part of how we grow into adulthood, how we make our choices, by exploring each side of ourselves we find the balance that we need to progress...good god, I love Twin Peaks.

*these things are still with me but to a lesser extent!

"When you cease to dream, you cease to live." - Malcolm Forbes

In an attempt to make changes my life I have:

Joined Slimming World (it seems to be the most sensible 'diet' I could find but I'm finding it difficult to rethink my eating...)

Started The Artists Way at Work again - I've done this 12 week process before but it was quite useful last time and I really do need to restart/relight my passion for my work again.

Actually taken my part time days off work and spent them catching up with Hels before she leaves for the foreign ground again and playing with Lucy and the kids at the Bow Ideas Store.

Magic Horse Brass*

I found a lovely horse brass in an office that was moving out of our building ages ago. I admired the brass with it's sun, moon and pentagram and put it into one of their boxes; not thinking anything about it since. Then yesterday, I discovered it twinkling in box of rubbish that was left next to our bins. The universe has gifted it to me - a good portend indeed.

*The original purpose was to bring good luck or to ward off the effects of the "evil eye". As superstition waned, they were used to show off the quality of horses.

Into 2007

Welcome to the new year...this is the year that I turn 30 and I intend to make changes in my life. Unhappiness has been a constant theme in my life and it is about time it came to an end. I will often feel like I'm failing but I must carry on. I will put obstacles in my way but I must find ways of crossing them.

Plans are afoot to move out of London, to sort out my "career", to get healthy, to reduce my debts (my student payments only covered the interest on the student loan this year!) and to learn to bloody well enjoy life.

The Year in Review – 2006
Stolen from absolutely everyone...

Post the first line from the first post of each month for this past year.

Jan
Lunchtime distractions from the general realms of despair that are surrounding me include typing random words into search engines and linking to the websites they suggest.

Feb
Centre Parcs highlight (and lowlights)

March
YAY, it's my birthday today (and I'm not finding it quite as hard as I though it might be).

April
I don't often remember my dreams, possibly due to the weird religious/horror dreams I had when I was younger.

May
Wonderful weekend in Hastings - we saw May Day in by rising before dawn to join the Morris Men on the Ladies Parlour to help dance the dawn in...it was pissing down.

June
I'm am currently in prozac withdrawal as I went to my doctor as I felt that I was still getting side effects from the prozac, he however thought that I needed a higher dose.

July
So I didn't get to see Nicky Wire but after a day in the heatwave sunshine at Europride and then watching the football and eating ice creams and drinking beer, I could barely move from Carla's bed let alone pull myself together to go to a gig!

August
How much fun is this?

September
I can't even begin to put into words how much this man means to me - he has influenced all that I am, fed into my dreams, my cultural and symbolic understanding of the world, I classify and communicate my experiences via the Manic Street Preachers.

October
Listening to Radio 4 yesterday "everyone has a mortgages". Eh, NO, no we don't David, that's why you will never be Prime Minister if I have anything to do with it....

November
Work is busy at the moment.

December
Running away to Egypt for 2 weeks - hurrah!

Running away to Egypt for 2 weeks - hurrah!

Off 'Up North'

I'm about to drive off to Stockton for a two day work meeting and then I have two days to play in Newcastle - normal service will resume on Monday!

Here I come stottie cakes, wind swept coastal walks, a little bit of Xmas shopping and drinking with my mates and brother - it's cold up there, you have to drink to stop freezing to death...or at least, that's what I'm sticking to.

For the first time in ages I feel like I'm gannin hyem (check out this website for a translatation)

p.s. many thanks to those that have commented on the entry below!

Happy Birthday Blog!

Today is my blogs' 4 year blog-sphere anniversary. It's been great fun - a place to let off steam, to link to things that my friends would like on the ether, a stop-off shop for mememes; it's been miserable when I have, manic when I have, happy when I have and now I think it's time for a bit of an overhaul but before I do I'd like to collect a few happy birthdays.

Please leave a comment below to say happy birthday to it with your name and location - that includes any lurkers too!

Tarot - because work finishes in 5 mins and I'm wasting time!

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

The Weekend...

The weekend became a bit of a blow out. Saturday, boy and I rushed through recycling, charity shop drop offs and the market. Went up for a rushed pie, mash and pint at The Camel - which was lovely. I then to Tate Modern for a meeting with mother. Too busy, service in the members room was rubbish, I was too tired and ill...walked down the South Bank and came across the fireworks for Mayor's Festival. Went for ginger wine in National Theatre and home to collapse.

Saturday night was hard work - lack of sleep, vomiting, sweating - woke in the morning feeling even worse so I missed my Nana's birthday lunch. Slept through most of the day, was woken by the boy bearing the observer, lucozade and 10p crisps.

The week (so far)...

Generally knackered from the weekend illness.
Busy at work - the rush before going part-time in Dec and Jan.
Paul from N/cle was down in London last night so we met up for a drink with Owen, his boyf and flatmate too - it was lovely evening as I haven't really seen either of them for ages and we needed a catch up. So much has happened in the last few years...all that growing up we've been doing!

Quagmires...

I dislike this time of year so much - sneezing, sore throats, coldsores, dark mornings, dark evenings, overheated travelling, trying to think of money saving pressies for people, knowing the diet isn't going to last the Xmas period, planning New Year celebrations, spending too much money on Starbucks gingerbread lattes "'cos it's nearly Xmas", writing obsessive to do lists full of things I'll never get around to, scared of drunk people after Xmas party drinking...I must, must, must improve my life (repeat to fade).

Blessings...

Eygpt holiday in 27 days.
Cheap Sanctury stuff at Deptford Market (spent £11 for around £35 worth of goodies!)
30th birthday planning for next March (saving for the deposit on Centreparc villas now!)

Cornholio!

Busy, busy, busy

Work is busy at the moment. Life is busy at the moment. My head is busy at the moment.

Blurg.

Halloween...

I love Halloween. A time to remember our ancestors - I made remembrance cookies for today and stirred my spoon remembering all those people that have made me what I am and have moved on from this life. Halloween marks the ending of the cycle, and of its new beginning — hence it’s the official start of the New Year We celebrate new beginnings, remember and honour the past and think about what we will contribute to the future. I’ve decided to let go of a few things that are holding me back…they include (in no particular order)…laziness, useless friends who constantly let you down, depression, being sloth like, dirty chemical laden food. I’m taking responsibility for my own happiness, time to put myself first.

Nabbed from Pepper-a-loo

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium. In general, you prefer to have only one love interest. But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long! There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is high. It's your way or the highway when it comes to love. You like to be very involved in your sweetie's life. No question, you like to be the one calling the shots. Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is high. You don't need to be in love, and sometimes you don't even want love. Having your own life is very important for you... Even more important than having a relationship.

The Five Variable Love Test

Whoo-hoo! It's the weekend!

My beloved left me this morning with £40, a kiss and the words "don't get too bloody drunk tonight"

Mmmwwwwhhaaahhhaa!

edit: so we've gone down from 7 people to 3. Oh yay, rock on! Might get drunk while I'm getting ready...

Torchwood - Doctor Who spin off

The first two episodes played last night on BBC2. Fantastic. A grown up Doctor Who spin off set in Cardiff Bay with funny one-liners, sex obsessed aliens and odd characters. I really enjoyed it and am looking forward to more...ooohhh, looky looky at the flash site here, how much fun is that?

Ok, ok, I'm a nerd.

Art Meme nabbed from the ether...

The first five people to respond to this post, will get some form of art, by me, for them. I make no guarantees about quality or type, but I will assure that I will give it good effort and that the art will be individual to you, so if you get a mixed CD or some sort of painting doodle, yours is the only one like it.

The only catch, of course; as with most memes, if you sign up, you have to put this in your own blog as well.

Gordon Brown

"We need a forensic, analytical, dour workaholic like Gordon to save us from this tyranny or, God help us, the king of smarm Alan Milburn will make another comeback. Gordon's a hyperrealist: he may seem prosaic, but his results are colossal. He separates his religion from his intellect. His economics are almost agnostic".

Diary, New Statesman
Nicky Wire
Monday 25th September 2006

It's almost Halloween!

All Change Please...

Hels is off travelling (again!). Flying out of our lives with no real timetable of her return - she'll let us know moments before hand I'm sure. Leaving do was quite civilised for the rats - the term sodomized to hell was only mentioned a few times.

Lorna and Will are moving to Exeter today. Looking forward to visiting and catch up - haven't seen them for ages!

Julie may be moving to London in a week. She finds out today about the job she's gone for - fingers crossed.

Talking of the darkness...(and comedy)

My Chemical Romance new video here. Bloody amazing - camp, anthemic and gothy? Lovely!

Slogan:

"Endless possibilities with Boudicca"

Go get a slogan of your own!

Disclaimer:

A few people have mentioned to me recently that my blog has a bit of dark, miserablist edge.

Point One: I am a dark and miserable person at times and therefore my blog reflects that. I like things with a dark edge - depressing music, meaningful poetry, black humour, angsty song lyrics, miserable novels with horrible endings, scary art, odd performance artists, violent video games and being y'know generally deviant in oh so many ways. I also don't take it too seriously (I was always a bit of a rubbish goth because I thought it was funny...). I embrace my darkness but also my lightness.
Point Two: it's been a fucking awful year what with my dad dying. I have been truly depressed but I'm on the mend.
Point Three: I have a great boyfriend who I adore and who worships the ground I walk on but as he's requested some privacy on this site I don't write about him too often.
Point Four: My friends totally rock and although I have found connecting with people hard over this last year, and have discussed those feelings here, I have had some damn happy times with them and am planning to have a whole lot more in the future.

I hope that clears things up for those of you who are, or have been concerned. There are happy things in my life and I'm OK, really, I am...

Strange day in New Cross...

Today I have:

Separately spotted two gentlemen dressed to kill. The word dapper doesn't go far enough to describe them. One at 9.30am and one at 2pm. Are they going for a gangster meet up? An interview? A porno movie shoot? The mind boogles.

Eaten a cheese and jalapeno sandwich. Not made in sandwich shop but in pack from a newsagents. Weird. Seems made for me, the universe truly does work in mysterious ways.

Typical Boudicca motto

"You can't fix what isn't broken without smashing it up a bit first."

Rubbish Day...

My mum went to hospital today...edit...some rants are better left off blogs...she's ok and that's all that matters really.

Seeing shows

On Saturday, I went to see 'Daredevas' by Akademi at the Purcell Rooms. Really enjoyable, a presentation of solos and duets inspired by Indian dance styles with a very British (or Finnish!) take. Enjoyable on many levels - noisy, beautiful, silent, fun, exciting, wonderful...

However, the night was topped off by a child who kept asking "what's she doing?" "why's she doing that?". Literally giving a voice to the audiences inner child!

Last night, I went to see 'Zarathustra Variations'by Compagnie Ariadone/Carlotta Ikeada at The Place - it was very strange but I'm still thinking about images from it this morning. Pretty intense parts where I felt really uncomfortable but other moments where I was laughing out loud. Butoh inspired and it made me want to search and find out more about the tradition.

Babies, babies everywhere...

In the last three days I have been sent pictures of two brand new babies and my maternal feelings are clucking over! Welcome to the world Sky and Lucia, you beautiful girls.

Work, work, work (and very little play) makes Boo a monster...

Spent last night lying on the floor bemoaning life, eating crap and watching comedy (Mitchell and Webb is improving (getting more preposterous) with every week) - Numberwank! Got an early night which was rudely intrupted by the neighbours at 2.30am singing along to shite music. Had to move to the floor in the front room instead - drunken, cunting bastards. Having fun while I'm not having any...as you can see, it hasn't helped my general dark mood at all...work, work, work, horror, horror, horror - looking forward to the weekend though. I'm hoping to get quite drunk...nice to have a life aim, it is.

David Cameron

Listening to Radio 4 yesterday "everyone has a mortgages". Eh, NO, no we don't David, that's why you will never be Prime Minister if I have anything to do with it....

Also, Webcameron...what the f**k?!? How terribly modern and cutting edge...and upsetting beyond belief.

Nicky Wire's debut album...I Killed the Zeigeist

The album is wonderful - ragged, post-punk, inspired, rage-filled, nihilistic, romantic and beautiful.

"I killed the zeitgeist
Switched off all the lights
Glazed like aching snow
Or metaphors for love"

"We will walk together
We will never part
We'll tattoo ourselves
And each others hearts"

Sound a likes - The Jesus and Mary Chain, Lou Reed, John Cale and Tom Waits.

'Well I think the British Government, they should really open their eyes and smell the coffee.'

- Muslim protester Abu Izzadeen in interview with John Humphrys

Yep, that quote sums up the interview really...

'Significant' happenings from the last week:

• The abunance of car crash tv on the telly - I've seen so many 'real' people cry on tv this week (note to self: stop wasting your life on this shite).
• Richard Hammond walking and talking - bless the hamster.
• Smear tests - why oh why, do you ache for ages afterwards even if it doesn't hurt at the time.
• Bad weather = the resurgence of warm, lovely food. Noodle tom yum soups ahoy.
• Spending too much money on shows. Dance Umbrella line up rocks this year.
• The reopening of the Young Vic and the surrounding publicity campaign - very excited.
• Lots and lots of work...mainly accounts. The joy!
  

So, Stephen Fry: The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive final installment yesterday evening depressed me. I have suffered from a number of depressive episodes in my life and have had an eating disorder from a young age (which, fingers crossed, I no longer allow myself to 'suffer' from) but this programme made me so angry. I'd love to be able to "let go" and let myself slip into my black moods but I can't. I don't have my fame/fortune or mummy and daddy to fall back on. I have to work, I have to keep myself afloat, I have to keep myself together enough to get to work.

That's not to say that I don't have my dark periods when I feel like I can't go on. There are period when just getting out of bed is an effort but I have to make that effort and bloody hell other people should too. The sheer self indulgence - my madness is my creativity, I refuse to take medicine that may help stabilise me (although you claim to care what the people close to you feel like - what do you think they feel when you're majorly up or down?). What a load of annoying rubbish.

Might have been those diet doctors that put me in the bad mood first though. Over-indulgence and under-activity were the flaws this week...made me want to eat chocolate and not exercise...oh, I do that already...

"I'm more interested in the future of the Arctic circle than the future of the Arctic Monkeys"

Gordon Brown is wonderful*. I watched Panorama about him last night and it made me even more convinced that he should lead New Labour into the next election. I don't mind that he's a Scot who has a dark moods (hello, Winston Churchill! - for much of his life, Churchill battled with depression which he called his 'black dog') he will be a great leader.

*I've alway had a bit of a thing for Gordon Brown. Yes, I know it's wrong. He's my DYLF (dad you'd like to fuck), that sweeping hair thing he does sends shivers down my spine.

At last...

I've been involved in planning a surprise party and it's finally happened so I can now write freely about it - it's been so difficult keeping it quiet! Jane, Helen and I organised a surprise wedding party for Jess and Turtle. They thought that they only had a family meal to deal with on Saturday night but when they came through to the gallery at St Martin's they found they had a whole lot more! All the hard work was worth the look on their faces when they came in.

Edited highlight (and lowlights)

DJ Nonce throwing out some love classics
Drunken/drugged mates dancing to the love classics
Too much fizz
Seeing all those family and friends mixing and chatting
Jessie's sister in law coming to London even though she's about to give birth at any moment (and looking positively blooming of course!)
Proud parents
Wonderful, supportive chats about the death of parents and how you get through the dark times and move on
Bloody taxi queues
Carla getting mugged and bitten
Homophobic abuse and teeth getting knocked out
Too many black eyes to mention

Usual night out for the rats!

A charity single that rocks...?!*?

I've just heard the great new song for Strummerville - a recording of The Clash track 'Janie Jones' by Carl Barat, The Rakes, Mystery Jets, The Holloways, We Are Scientists, The Paddingtons, Larrikin Love, Cazals, Noisettes, Good Books, Lady Fuzz, Kooks, Jack Penate, Laura Marling, Maccabees, Lisa Moorish, Light Speed Champ (Test Icicles), Jamie T, Jeremy Warmsley and Guillemots. The single goes on sale on 30th October and the proceeds raise money for the Joe Strummer Foundation for New Music.

Richard Hammond....

I don't really have a passion for cars yet I watch Top Gear for the lovely Richard Hammond, I'm very sad to hear about his accident and fingers crossed that he'll pull through.

It's been a busy, busy time...

11th September
Stayed up late, getting drunk with the ladies waiting and waiting for Jess and Matt's wedding broadcast - we found out (at midnight) that they hadn't paid for the broadcast! All that over excitement for nothing...

12th September
Get up horribly early and travel to St Ives. Wonderful views from the window - fields, white horses and seascapes.
Arrive at the B&B - amazing view over one of the many beaches that St Ives has.
Find the nearest ale pub and eat mussel's - yummy!

13th September
After various work phone calls/texts the boyf finally manages to get me to turn my phone off!
Tate visit - not really very inspiring but the cafe and views are nice.
Eat and drink a little too merrily...

14th September
3 jugs of Long Island Ice Tea have taken their toll on my body. Feel awful and sleep on the beach while boyf makes sand sharks. I wake with a painful strip on sunburn on the small of my back.
Eat at the St Andrew Bistro - I manage 2 starters and a pudding. The art on the walls is interesting but the food is too expensive for what it is...

15th September
Rather rough boat trip to seal island, boyf goes a lovely green colour. I'm rough too but I adore being on the sea!
Go to a pub for a Cornish night and a Cornish Seafood Platter. I manage to find the only gay in the village behind the bar, boyf is impressed. Cornish Platter is...good god...I'm lost for words...amazing...wonderful...yummy.

16th September
Swimming in the cold sea. I laugh out loud, full of joy and mouthfuls of seawater. Truly relaxed and happy for the first time in months.
Last min gift shopping - try not to eat too much of the Cornish cream fudge myself!

17th September
Journey home is nightmarish - 8 hours due to a fire near the tracks outside Reading. London transport hectic but still chilled from holiday and still feel happy and full of energy.

18th September
Chilled out day before I go back to work.
Get creative.
Have Hels around for coffee and then go back to the ladies for yummy fish pie.
Catch up with the newly weds, look at photos, hear stories from Burning Man and Las Vegas.

19th September
Back to work!

20th September
Get some nail extensions put on and immediately turn into a lady!
Wicked at the Apollo Victoria with Richie-roo. Catch up with him and his San Fran/Las Vegas visit. I can say without hesitation that Wicked is the most wonderful musical that I have ever seen - laugh out loud funny, great voices, great set, great costumes, great flying monkeys!

I'm keeping a picture of the view from our B&B on my desk so I can gaze at it during the day.

6 Music Heaven cont:

...and now Daisy Chainsaw's 'Love Your Money' - I don't think I can take anymore pleasure!

6 Music Radio Replay Heaven and Hell

Hell:
Trevor Lock (from Russell Brand's Sunday show) not being on last Sunday's show due to alleged rape charges - the theme of Russell's show 'innocence'.

Heaven:
CUD's Purple Love Balloon being played by Andrew Collins. I loved CUD for the 10 seconds they were famous, the track span me straight back to 1992! Must dig the albums out when I get back home...

"The first time that I saw you,
You were running scared,
You assured me,
Your clothes were making chase,
Your mouth made shapes before me,
The second time you touched me,
Your hands sent ripples through me,
My shirt was made of paisley
It's bright so I can find me.

You're one in a million, take me home,
Vague hazards roar, vague hazards moan,
You're one in a million,
And I will see you soon,
I want to take you high in my...
Purple Love Balloon.

The second time you touched me,
Your hands sent ripples through me,
My shirt was made of paisley
It's bright so I can find me.
The third time that you loved me,
A dragon was inside me,
Assured that you were of your soul
I found the essence of your whole.

You're one in a million, take me home,
Vague dragons roar, vague dragons moan,
You're one in a million,
And I will see you soon,
I want to take you high in my...
Purple Love Balloon.

I want to take you high,
In my Purple Love Balloon,
I want to thumb a ride,
In my Purple Love Balloon,
Come on baby, let's get high,
In my Purple Love Balloon
I want to take a ride
In my Purple Love Balloon
I want to make you cry
In my Purple Love Balloon"

There are advantages to your boyf being bored at work - he finds answers to all those little annoy ing questions/statements that I bombard him with at bedtime...

Where does the term straw poll come from?
Octopuses and how they poison people

He also sent me this picture of a cute kitten stating "Love you too and here is a yucky picture to prove it! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"

That boy rocks!

Stuff from the last few days

The other day, I boarded the East London line train to be greeted by the voice of my favourite driver who always says "[insert station name], if you are ending your journey here, whoever you are, whatever the weather have a fantastic day" - he always cheers me up...

I've been pretty busy at work developing a risk assessment and a fire emergency plan - it's been quite enjoyable and today I got into work and the boss had but a post it note on the work with 'Excellent work!' and a girly pink star. You often feel like you're too old for that sort of thing but I really appreciated it!

On the personal front, various people have been reappearing into my life. Some have been invited but others have appeared of their own accord. I'm looking forward to catching up with them all.

Next week:
I'm planning to watch Jessie and Turtle get married in Vegas via Carla's laptop. Hurrah!
I'm going on holiday with boy/f in St Ives. Hurrah!

Steve Irwin is dead


...and it wasn't even a croc that got him!

Nicky Wire

I can't even begin to put into words how much this man means to me - he has influenced all that I am, fed into my dreams, my cultural and symbolic understanding of the world, I classify and communicate my experiences via the Manic Street Preachers. To say I am "a fan" is an understatement.

To say he doesn't have flaws would be incorrect but negatively and positively he has influenced me, this man (and the rest of the band) guided me through from my childhood into my now adulthood; I accepted and used his words, images and influences to influence my own life. He didn't know me so it was with a non-judgemental eye I was guided.

“It’s scary to watch someone you love go into the centre of himself and confront his fears; fear of failure, fear of death, fear of going insane. You have to fail a little, die a little, go insane a little to come out the other side” Break My Heart Slowly, Nicky Wire