"Glastonbury: a cross between a medieval refugee camp and a recently detonated circus"
Charlie Brooker, The Guardian, Monday June 25, 2007

I survived but my tent didn't!

Friday
We turned up on site on Friday evening (the boy couldn't get out of work on Friday). We found the ratties at the Herbal High stall well scrumped already - threw our stuff into the tent behind the stall...donned wellies, started supping lager and waited for the rest of the gang to return from Arcade Fire. Once they returned, Will took Lornie behind the stall and proposes (they met at Glastonbury 3 years ago, it's very romantic) We are all reduced to tears and there are big hugs for them before the boy and I hot foot it over to Lost Vagueness with Jess for her all night shift in the Space Lounge. She is forgiven for being late as everyone is very excited for Lornie and Will. Say hello to people I haven't seen for ages. Meet my brother's mate Adrian who is dressed in bin liners and pilled up. My brother's other mate is too fucked to even say hello to. We stay up with the help of much vodka and lager. Bump into a few other people outside the tent, exchange hugs and good wishes for the weekend. Make the move back across the site at 6am with Jess, we are drunk, we consume some Irish coffees, steal maltesers and go to bed.

Saturday
Hungover to fuck, stayed in the tent until 4pm. Got up watched Babyshambles (shit, out of tune crappy wardling, Kate Moss = shit). Go to Pat's stall for a catch up, drink rose wine and get temporary tattooed. Back to the Other Stage for Maximo Park (amazing) and Editors (heartbreakingly beautiful). Go back to stall to pick up a gang for Iggy and the Stooges who are very funny - stage invaded by people and Iggy can't get them back off for ages. Bass player practically fucking his bass and gurning like a total monkey. People saying "this herbal high isn't doing anything for me" and then starting to freaky dance.

Play on the stall and dance like a fool! Go to bed at a sensible 2am, get woken up by Will shouting "my grammer's broken" and the almost endless shagging sounds in the tent near to us (you know who you are!).

Sunday
Catch up on last night shenanigans. Eat loads. See The Holloways (boring but ok), Coldwar Kids (rubbish), The Go! Team (rubbish but interesting to see), The View (boring but ok), went with the ladies to see Dame Shirley Bassey (brilliant!) wait around to meet other people for the Manics. No one turns up, I see the Manics by myself. Which was fantastic. Spend some time backstage, mainly just to have a sit down! Wellies have left a blister on the back of my leg - which is going yellow.

Star spotting - James Dean Bradfield, Donny Torette, Lip from Shameless, John Simm, Jo Whiley, Andrew Marr...

Monday
Woke up at 4am, tent had leaked in the endless rain, argued with boy as unable to pack sleeping bags back into the bags. Sorted ourselves out and got off the site with Jess and Turtle and a lift from Rocket. Dropped off at Westbury station, catch the commuter train back to London. Brandy in coffee and a croissant keeps me going. Get to Paddington and take the tube back home. Some people stare and other smile. At home pull off mud soaked clothes, shower, climb into a clean bed. Get up for food, kids telly and texts from the rats still stuck on site. Reduced to tears by children climbing volcanos, go back to bed. Sleep till the morning.

Tuesday
House smells like cow poo. Boy left at home to fill the washing machine. Go to work with the smile of a person who had fucking great weekend!