p.s. my mobile phone is buggered so any of you trying to call me will be out of luck!

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of events - lots of xmas parties and too many mince pies!

I've just waved goodbye to Lornie (off to Spain), to Hels (off to Bournemouth) and Carla (off to Liverpool). They are all away for xmas and Jessie goes on Friday morning; so the boy/f and I are going to be alone for xmas. I'm beginning to look forward it now - although at first I was very worried about it...sure it'll be coolio! I don't get paid until Friday so I'll have to go out and buy his presents then - still not sure what to get! Looked for designer t-shirts today, nothing...might have to rely on foodie presents! Overall, I've been a bit skint this year so friends have all had home-made chocolate truffles for pressies - they're really yummy! However, now everyone I know is making them!

Well, the housewarming party was amazing...didn't finish until gone 9am the next day! The standout moments were:

• Lovely presents from Fiona and Boosh (coffee candle burning and the tapestry up!)
• One rather drunk young man pissing himself (naughty!)
• Removing myself and boy/f from the party quite early on be rather dirty in my bedroom (don't worry, the door was locked!)
• Mickey having to be removed from my breasts numerous times (the e'd up little bugger)
• Standing inbetween a hard man and a tranny (y'know if you put tranny through the spellcheck it comes up with tyranny - how apt!) and telling them both to grow up and behave because they were really annoying!!!
• Lornie's Little Will (yay!) gurntastically having loads of fun
• Jess swigging on a bottle of brandy at 6am in morning
• Jesus, the hangover all of the following day

Sunday, having almost recovered the boy/f and I went shopping in Stratford (and got very little apart from food). We then came home and boy/f cooked a lovely meal (chicken - but I got a mushroom version) in the left over mulled wine - yummy!

Apart from that I've been doing loads of homework (with Lucinda from works help!). Although I'm now at college and blogging instead of doing my work - silly boo!

At the weekend I went to a friends birthday at Garlic & Shots and as I walked in I came across an adorable young man who I haven't seen in ages. We once spent a memorable night together in my bed when we were both in our teens, freezing to death (my parents house in Newcastle had no heating!) waiting for a micro dot to work. It never did...I have very fond memories of him and can't wait to see him again!

This weekend I'll be busy hosting a training course for work. Should be fun though as an old work colleague is doing it (one who I ended up out until 5am with the other week!) and a new work colleague is helping me host. Of course, I'm also hoping to learn a lot too!

I've almost sorted out my room at home and have written a rather obsessive list about all the other things that need doing in the rest of the house. I'm hoping to have them all done by 13th December because Hels and Lornie are back from South Africa then and it'll be great to have an almost finished house for them to come back to (plus it gives me a deadline to work to!)

I also sorted out my housewarming for the girls - keyrings with 'Mile End Rats' engraved on one side and their initials on the other - I hope they like them (I adore mine!)

So far this week I have:

Bought 3 new pairs of shoes (1 plain black dolly shoe, 1 dolly shoe with red butterflies on, 1 pair of slouchy black boots)
Stayed out till 5pm on a work night drinking lemon liquor in a Fashion St flat with a couple of ladies from work/ex-work and some ungodly young men.
Done a 20 mins micro-teach session as part of my City & Guilds 7302
Bought 2 pashminas (1 red, 1 black - all occasions covered!)
Got excited about our house warming
Drunk far too much
Talked to mates I haven't heard from in ages

YAY! YAY! YAY!

House warming party tonight - the house is beginning to look sorted, the fairy lights are up, my feather boa is hanging on the door (this is the crowning glory of any room I move into - the point I know that I am unpacked!), the invites have gone out, the beer/wine/vodka is being bought this afternoon...can't wait!!!

Whoop, whoop!

So, that last entry was bloody depressing wasn't it?

I'm feeling better, pay day has been and gone...I'm late at work waiting for Helski to turn up and us to drop our stuff off at the new house. We're finally moving in tomorrow (at last!). The last 5 weeks have been stressful and emotion filled. There were a few rough patches with the boy/f while we got used to living in such a close proximity, lots of tears, missing of best friends (who were all over the other side of London or visiting relatives and friends), the dark circles are still around my eyes, dealt with illnesses (of my own and other peoples), I haven't mediated, no exercise, writing of lists and plans of what I'll do "when I move in", I met the boy/fs parents (who are lovely!), got so drunk at a colleagues leaving party that I slept for the whole weekend following, went to see Antony and the Johnsons (beautiful, beautiful, beautiful), listened to the new Manic Street Preachers album (online only, still haven't got around to buying it...), worried, got angry at boy/fs housemates (it's so difficult to be nice all the time especially when people are weird and obsessive!) - blah, blah, blah - I'm just looking forward to going back to my own room and to be surrounded by my own things! Can't wait to see my wonderful ladies again (I'm even looking forward to seeing Jessie in the mornings!)

I feel so rundown at the moment. I'm actually being looked after really well by the boy/f and Carla but after almost three weeks in strange beds my back is beginning to ache and I'm really bloody tired. The dark circles are taking over my face...and I'm literally drinking rescue remedy by the bottle.

I'm missing my ladies so much that I could cry...

I've run out of money...(I've been living off Jessie's bill money which I'll have to pay back out of my deposit, when it bloody comes!)

My blonde roots are showing really badly...

Work is suffering because I keep having to hold back bloody tears...

I'm currently skiving from my college course because I haven't done any of the work and am really worried about getting it done...

I really can't wait to move in to the new house, to have a room of my own (and bed!)

I suppose that I should write a bit about what's going on in my life re: the homeless situation...we got the house that we went for (YAY!) but we can't move in until early November so we're sofa surfing at the moment. I've spent a week at the boy/f's snapping and bickering - I adore the boy but we have trouble living together in a small room with a single bed and a sofa chair to sleep on! We're both so used to doing our own thing...so I'm currently staying at Carla's some nights and his on other nights. I'm getting very little sleep and I'm slowly running out of clothes (in fact I ripped my trousers today so I look like a real pikey!) so instead of going out tonight I'm going to Carla's putting on a wash, having a shower and going to bed. There's dark circles under my eyes, I'm sleeping on public transport and I'm yawning almost constantly (not giving a good impression at work). Just 2 and 1/2 more weeks of it though!

Via Darian

...copy the list on to your blog, put in bold the ones you have listened to (completely from begining to end) and then add three more albums that you think people should have heard before they turn into their parents - remember, it isn't necessarily your most favourite albums but the ones you think people should listen to... and when we say listen we mean from track one through to the end...

If you put a link to your follow-on post in the comments of the site where you found it, the chain will be trackable. Maybe!

1) Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band - The Beatles
2) London Calling - The Clash
3) Blood Sugar Sex Magik - Red Hot Chilli Peppers
4) Think Tank - Blur
5) This is Hardcore - Pulp
6) Moon Safari - Air
7) Elastica - Elastica
8) Never Mind the Bollocks Here's the Sex Pistols - Sex Pistols
9) OK Computer - Radiohead
10) The Kiss of Morning - Graham Coxon
11) Ziggy Stardust and The Spiders from Mars - David Bowie
12) The Wall - Pink Floyd
13) Setting Sons - The Jam
14) America Beauty - The Grateful Dead
15) Toxicity - System of a Down
16) Train a Comin' - Steve Earle
17) Folksinger - Phranc
18) Come From the Shadows - Joan Baez
9) Bat out of Hell - Meatloaf
20) The River - Bruce Springsteen
21) The Very Best of Joan Armatrading - Joan Armatrading
22) Copperhead Road - Steve Earle
24) (What's the Story) Morning Glory - Oasis
25) The Fat of the Land - The Prodigy
26) Suede - Dog Man Star
27) Kylie - Impossible Princess
28) Michael Jackson - Thriller

29) Antony And The Johnsons - Antony And The Johnsons
30) Apoptygma Berzerk - Welcome To Earth
31) Pachelbel - Canon

Ok, ok the last one is a piece of music that's on loads of collections but it's the most beautiful thing in the world...I used to live with Michael (ex-Catholic Priest, gay, over 5o!) and Jessie and this was our 'song'. We used to listen to it lying on our grotty living room carpet and let it wash over us.

Antony (recent toured with Lou Reed) has got a voice of an angel. There's certain notes that hit you right in the centre of your being and tears just fall because you ache so much...I've listened to the album millions of times but it still gets me every time. I actually have knots in my stomach and tears in my eyes just thinking about it. I'm actually going to see him on 2nd November - god knows how I'll react when he's singing the flesh!

Apoptygma Berzerk - Welcome To Earth reminds me of the worst time of my life so far. My finance and I were going through a very bad time (in fact we split up not too long after I started to listen to this) but I still think that it's an amazing album. It mixes synth-pop and trance and works (so many don't...).

It's been really hard not to put down the albums that are my favourite or those which I know shaped my life (Generation Terrorists - MSP, Stone Roses - Stone Roses, any Smiths album, Pixies - Doolittle, any Bob Dylan, etc, etc the list is actually endless).

We have to move out of the old place by Friday but we've managed to sort out somewhere to store all our stuff, which is such a weight off our minds.

Also, we saw the perfect house for us last night. You could literally feel the love flooding out of the house when they opened the door (bloody hippy!). The current tenants have really enjoyed living there and we got on with them really well. They are moving out on Saturday but there are a few repairs to do so it'll be a few weeks before it will be available.

One 'minor' problem is that another group of people like the house too. The landlords are going to meet both groups on Saturday which is a really good idea, seems really wonderfully personal that they want to get to know who is living in their house (makes much more sense than the money grabbing lot that we've dealt with in the past!). Jessie had to write an email to them this morning explaining who each of were and why we'd like to live there. She copied us all in and our general bit read like this:

"We are a very close group and have been living together for three years. Boo and I went to uni together and Lorna and Helen have been best friends since they were young. We all met through mutual friends and hit it off immediately. We have lots of fun and enjoy going to gigs and going clubbing. When we're not out, we love cooking big meals for lots of friends and chatting over a few bottles of wine. We like to go on holiday together and have visited friends in Turkey, Madrid & Brussels. We also usually take a holiday in Spain at the end of the summer to relax."

Which basically makes us sound really, really cool! So fingers (and toes) crossed for us on Saturday.

Massive thanks go out to all the friends that have offered us spare rooms/sofas to crash on etc.. It really makes you realise how important good friends are. So many people would (and have) been straight on the streets with little/no support and no idea how to get any support. We're all really lucky that we have so many wonderful friends.

I know, I know...but this time I have a really good excuse for not updating!

We may be homeless by the end of next week (due to landlord putting house up for sale, us putting in our notice, a huge fire next door that smoke damaged our house, landlord taking house off market and immediately renting out to other people with a huge rent increase, us not being able to afford anywhere at the moment due to silly students paying well over the odds....blah, blah, blah...).

We've been seeing lots of awful, overpriced properties but the one that topped the cake recently was on where Jess actually put her foot through the rotting floorboards, they wanted £360 a week...

So, before all of this happened I was having a relaxing holiday in Spain. Well, it didn't start as relaxing...I'm terrified of flying so I'd taken some of Lornie's diazepam. My panic was only slightly held under control by the fuzziness of the pills...I was distracted on the plane by a lovely woman who gave me and Jessica scones and sweets. Which made us very happy!

2hrs later we're in the heat of Spain waiting for Lornie and Carla to pick us up...I hastily change into my flip-flops...they arrive, we drive to the Villa. My first time in Spain, I look out of the car at the arid, brown, landscape. The mountains are fantastic. We eat and then swim in the pool at dusk, and to bed to prepare for the following week.

Most memorial things from the holiday:

Geckos join us...wherever we are.

The wild waves at Javier/Xavier beach, we swim out to a slide in sea and dive deep into the water.

I turn a beautiful brown...

The ladies being kicked off the karaoke (Champagne Supernova doesn't only have one chorus!)

Ice-cream shop in Moraira (pine nut ice-cream and fig ice-cream, I LOVE you!)

Saxo's nightclub (note to self: when drunk don't go to nightclubs where English people that you dislike at home are getting drunk and trying to fuck each other, also avoid expensive drinks and the bull fighting video footage...)

Reading Chit Lit (it's really like a drug, you know it's wrong but you can't stop...there should be meetings for this sort of thing!)

Getting to know Ms. Parr better, you fucking rock!

In fact, you all fucking rock - I had a brilliant time! Let's book next year now (well, as soon as we've got a house sorted out anyway..)

I know, I know..it takes me ages to write anything on here but I haven't got internet access at home and work is a bit hectic at the mo!

So since I last wrote I had two weeks off during which I did everything I planned to (see July 14th entry!)

There was a fire in the house next door to us. Quite late at night. Jess, Shaz and I were the only ones up and we had to run around waking everyone else up and getting them out of the house because the smoke was really bad. We had to wait on the pavement nearby for over 4 hours while an huge number of fire engines tried to fight the blaze. A huge panic for us all which we got over by lusting over the firemen...I've never seen the attraction before but y'know when they save your life...

I had a break in Cumbria with work...doing teambuilding exercise, it’s a three-day event of trust work alongside developing new skills. Our time was well spent bonding...actually, mainly I got wet in the rain, wet in the lead mine, wet on the walks, cold in the bed and I almost drowned too. Well, I say almost drowned, what I mean is I was in a small boat with Shelley in the middle of a lake, not able to 'steer', with no tutor and with a large steam boat making its way towards us...I didn't panic though. No, not me - I said in a very loud, posh voice "Shell, I'm really not enjoying this anymore!" What larks! All those childhood games being part of Swallows and Amazons didn't help at all...God knows what will happen if the Famous Five games didn't sink in and I come across smugglers at the seaside or thieves on the moors!

From Cumbria I went straight to V2004 to work on Herbal Highs, Oxygen Bar, etc. Really, really good fun - I only managed to see The Pixies...we managed to drink the alcohol that was meant for the whole weekend on the first night...and have to many herbal highs...and Hels managed to fall off a chair she was dancing on and fall onto a plug...into her heel (it's an inch and a half deep!).

Last weekend I went to Reading Festival Jess and I had got VIP tickets for the Saturday 'cos there was a line up we couldn't miss. Lorna, Hels and Carla were working on the Vodka Jelly stall so we stayed over on the Saturday night. Carla's had a new man there - the lovely Liam, he was lots of fun and we all bonded with him (mainly by throwing things at him and shouting his name to be fair).

From the bands, I saw a bit of Razorlight (Libertines-alike, really good fun), New York Dolls (er, no-one wants to see that...I love the music though), a bit of The Roots (boring jazz stoners), Franz Ferdinard (rocking but very quiet), The Libertines (OH...MY...GOD...I am so in love with Carl!), Morrissey (me alone in a field with lots of other people alone and we all knew all the words...wonderful, wonderful, wonderful), The White Stripes (Jeeesus, Jack White....he even looks good with a goatee). I then went back to the Vodka Jelly stall to find that Jess had started a B-Boy circle and there were loads of people around demanding Dizzee Rascal! So we all went onto drink too much, snort too much (although I managed to say no - I had the worst cold and I wasn't gonna make it any worse) and down to many vodka jellies!

Jess and I slept in the van with one cover between us (which Jess stole and wouldn't give back!) and managed to get up in the morning and open the stall...we were meant to go as soon as everyone else got up but we ended up drinking more whiskey and beer and not leaving until around 6pm...the train home was wonderful until Staines when some horrible little brats got on and were really loud (one laughed like he was weeping - what a little git!).

Got home on Sunday evening where I was joined by the young man, that's all going fantastically too - horribly in love still I'm afraid. We just had our 1 year anniversary for which he got me the biggest bunch of flowers and a bracelet and we went for the nicest meal...

We got the photos back on Monday evening and they are fantastic - literally all the girls hanging from the rafters of the stall!!!

Next Monday we go to Spain to stay in Lornie's parents villa for 10 days - can't wait! Lots of relaxing, swimming and general girly-themed fun! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

So, my 2 weeks off work were fantastic. I will do a bit more of an update soon however, I'm now off to Cumbria. A work-based adventure week in Cumbria...those of you who know me personally will know that this isn't the sort of holiday I should be taking - I should be by the swimming pool relaxing with a cocktail (alright, cocktails) and then going to the nearest city for cultural visits!

From Cumbria I'm going straight to V2004 - which I'm really looking forward to. There's a really cool gang working it...should be lots of fun...

Update soon, honest guv!

You Met The Libertines And . . . . by luvmymets
Your Name/Username
Your birthday
Your favorite color
Location
Peter had to restrain himself from	sticking his tongue down your throat.
Carl reached into his pocket and gave you	a picture of Pete in a compromising position.
John was especially fond of	the junk in your trunk.
Gary asked you to	do the Hustle.
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

I had an argument with the boy/f on Sunday - our first big, non-drunk argument that is (in 11th months that's pretty good!). Basically we hadn't done anything all weekend and lots of things we're said...about me. The fact I don't want to see his mates, that fact that I don't want to do anything at the weekend, that I don't come over to his house and that I'm always tired. some of these are fair enough comments, I am always knackered at the weekends...'cause I work bloody hard during the week. However, that fact that I don't go around to his is that he has a single bed (and anyone that knows me is aware that I don't fit into a single by myself let alone with someone else too!)..anyway, he's got a single sofa bed now which means that I can start to spend more time there. I then say I'll come over to his on Monday night and he says "nah, I'll come to yours" - bloody men!

Blah, blah, blah.

I have two weeks off work and broadband has been cut off at home so it'll be quite for a bit!

Plans for the next two weeks:

Visit grandparentage
Go to a leaving do for a work colleague
St Martin in the fields concert (if I can wangle freebies)
Go to The Libertines exhibition at Proud Camden
Go to Bournemouth
Go to a posh do at a posh hotel (free drinks and nibbles)
Go to Godskitchen Global Gathering

Lots of fun!

OH. MY. GOD. Philip's new play Moonfleece was amazing...racism, homophobia, right wing political parties, distorted childhood memories, princes, dragons, sparkles...I love his writing so much. Telling 'fairy' stories that reflect the 'real' story...so beautiful.

Big Gay Out was great! We didn't leave the stall all day and I got visited by loads of ex-Ticketmaster people and well as loads of mates - fantastic day!

Richie and I went to see Cruel and Tender at the Young Vic on Tuesday which has been called 'A superb emotion-charged performance' by The Guardian..but I disagree there were some interesting ideas, some okish acting but on the whole it was pretty dire. No energy on stage at all and when Amelia went mental and covers bed, props, etc in blood I didn't even draw in a breath...it was so boring...all actors dropping lines, they also seemed quite lost on stage, as if they hadn't been given any direction at all and didn't know where to stand...perhaps we caught them on an off night but to me it was possibly one of the most boring pieces of theatre that I've seen in a long time (and I've been to WEST END MUSICALS!!!)

One thing in its favour was that it has now added the action of *rubbing shards of cut glass into my hands* during painful moments into our lives...the action of committing hari-kari was a left over from boring uni lectures and it was getting a little dry and over used.

Wednesday was much better - Discontented Winter: House Remix by Bryony Lavery at the National as part of their Shell Connections season ("the world’s leading youth theatre programme producing quality new writing for and about young people"). It was fantasically funny, brilliantly acted and a great night out for only £6!

Yesterdays play, however, Dead End by Letizia Russo was very strange...about a group of young people worshipping a new God, their actions and a fight to be the new God...and souls were bouncy balls...err, ok...so afterwards we needed a drink. We went up to The Vibe Bar on Brick Lane 'cos my mate from work, Bid was DJing (no, sorry, 'playing out'...how cool am I?). Lots of drunken fun!

Tonight, it's the new Philip Ridley play Moonfleece. I'm so excited...and managed to convince the boy/f to come along (had to bribe him with dinner before hand!)

This weekend will be spent cleaning the house. The landlord called and let us know that he was putting the house on the market and that we had two months notice to quit...so anyone know of a 4 bedroom house in the East End near to the N25 bus route do let me know!

So, of course I got too drunk at the meal and had to get up the next day really early...it was worth it though. I got to the festival to be told that I wouldn't be working with Lornie and Carla but with Pat on the temporary tattoo stall. I was a bit disappointed at first but then once I'd been introduced to Pat and shown how to do the spray painting tattoos I adored it! And Pat really knows how to do a festival in style...her own private toilet, an inflatable double bed (!), fridge full of cocktails and food galore! Phillippa (the other person on the stall) and I were treated like Princesses! I am never slumming it at a festival again!!!

Apart from that over the last couple of weeks I've seen The Exception and the Rule by Bertolt Brecht and The New Tenant by Eugène Ionesco as part of the Young Vic's Direct Action season. The Exception and the Rule was pretty dire but The New Tenant was fantastic. Really witty.

Went to see The Soldier's Tale at the Linbury Studios with Damaris which was also fantastic.

I went on a massive girlie night involving quite a few Kir Royals , then into town for FREE jugs of cocktails X2!, and then onto Bedrock...we ended the evening magically aquiring a midnight feast which we ate most of on the night bus home!

The next day I video'd a friends play. I was meant to be getting close ups but I had a stationary tripod so it was an absolute bugger - literally had to shove it about...managed to get a few good cut aways though...I then went on to see Cardboard Citizens New Music Ensemble perform at Shoreditch Church. The Chris' and Richie turned up to watch too. It was a really moving performance. I do like contemporary music - you can almost meditate to it (and during the boring bits think about things like shopping lists etc!). Afterwards we met up with the boy/f and we all went for a nice curry on Brick Lane.

I had a week off work, spent a couple of days in Hasting with parents and grandparents...shopping in Bexhill charity shops...coming back to London, doing boring shopping, spending the day with Courts, Lornie Lucy, and baby Grace.

Weekend plans - maybe trying the new Xfm club tonight and working Big Gay Out on Saturday...Sunday recovering!

Next week - theatre almost every night!

YAY! YAY! YAY!

Whoop! Someone dropped out of doing the Download Festival this weekend on the Vodka Jelly/Herbal High stall so I'm filling in!

Hurrah, my first festival of the summer! Can't wait, should be really fun (although last time I did Download I think I saw about 2 bands!). Although it does mean getting up really early tomorrow and getting in pretty late on Sunday night (I have taken monday morning off because as my boss put it "ok - i presume u will be no use anyway after a weekend on the vodka jellies").

Reminder to self: don't get too drunk this evening having curry with mates...DON'T get too drunk this evening having curry with mates.

Half-inched from Darian





You are Taki -

Admired for your style and fresh approach to life, you are the Japanese femme fatale!
Deceivingly innocent, you are actually a devil in disguise. You love to show off, but behind that
flamboyant and sometimes uncaring personality, you definately care for and stand up for your friends.
Just one flaw, you can be annoyingly hyper and bouncy!! However this can be just what a friend needs
after a boring day.

Which Soul Calibur character are you?


this quiz was made by david park

Bloody hell, I was doing a media deprevation week as part of The Artist's Way thingy that I'm doing and the only thing that I didn't break it with was blogging (telly on day one, radio at work, etc).

One thing that's been a great tool on The Artist's Way is you have to write down 50 things, people, place that make you happy in your life at the moment - really good for assessing what you really enjoy!

Because of the course I have also learnt the sign language alphabet, joined a short Spanish for Holidays course and am enjoying walking to work again (and sometimes without headphones plugged in at full volume!).

It's also pushed me enjoy myself in other ways. There's a thing called artists dates - basically two hours to yourself each week doing something 'creative and fun'. So, I've been to exhibitions by myself instead of waiting for a mate to go with me and then missing them, listened to concerts at St Martin in the Fields, been to see The History Boys at the National Theatre. I've also been seeing friends - outside those at home! Damaris for the Cecil Beaton exhibition and apple crumble at Cafe in the Crypt . Darian for a catch up on his blossoming porn career over Brick Lane Curry. Last night at S&M Chris' for 4 episodes of Angel season 5 and pizza.

Next week I have Tenebris' new play and Lornie's birthday dinner. Should be lots of fun especially as Lornie's been ill. She was in hospital with Kidney Infection and is now recovering at her parents in Bournemouth...

The company I work for is involved with the Ten Feet Away festival. It's the first major week-long festival of arts by homeless and former homeless people, running from April 13th - 18th at the Union Chapel. There's films, theatre, music, free refreshments and internet cafe throughout the festival. Have a look at the art that has been loaded onto the website here. I went to the launch on Tuesday night with Richie and Chris K - really interest some amazing art upstairs and performances downstairs. If you can get down there I would - only £2.50/£5 for an evening full of fun!

And, of course, Jessie and Courtney got kisses from Pete Libertine and they got a pint from Carl Libertine - FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!!

Had a lovely Good Friday...stayed in my favourite lazy pj's all day (ghost bottoms from Old Navy, New York - YAY!) and watched telly ( The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, the Jungle Book and Mary Poppins) and worked on my artists way stuff. I'm finding the morning pages quite hard work. It's the exercise of writing 3 pages...stream of consciousness when you first get up. I'm very much a non-morning person and find it difficult to talk before that first mug of steaming hot coffee so the thought of writing is very hard. Of course, Julia Cameron would just say that this is my inner critic trying to stop be being creative! Some of the other weekly tasks are interesting though, kinda looking at your life, your past and thinking about how things have effected your approach to your own creativity...

Today I had lots of plans to go and see some art but cleaning and bad weather got in the way and Jessie's mum was visiting and then Lucy, Kev and baby Gracie came around to visit!

I should really be going to see The Libertines tonight at The Coronet in Elephant and Castle for the Don Letts night but instead I checked my bank balance and there is no way I can afford £15 for the ticket and buy drinks in there...I fucking hate being poor...

Although next month I will be making sure I have enough money for the brand spanking new Morrissey album at the moment of release! Am so over excited, the new single is just fantastic...

Well, well, well after many a moon with no serious clubbing (and when I have gone out it's been boring!) I finally managed to go out to Candy Box and have a damn good time. Didn't get home till well gone 5pm and I really should still be bed recovering but, no at work, feeling pretty rough...still no work tomorrow. I plan to stay in bed for the whole day - hurrah!

Saturday was spent tidying Grandparents house as the occupational therapist is coming to view it with Granddad today...it was ok doing it with a big gang of us. Although it was quite depressing there were good bits of the day - finding birth certificates, wedding certificates, Granddad's CV and old photos was really interesting. It was really hard seeing him in the hospital though...he's going a bit loopy in there and we can't wait to get him out (nor can he, he keeps trying to escape!).

Me and girls went for a Turkish (and Russian) Bath the other week up at York Hall. It was amazing. We got taken under the wing of a loud, bossy Turkish women who covered us in this soap that we had to leave on for ages, rinse off and then she scrubbed us into oblivion - undoubtedly removing any dead skin and I'm sure the top layer of fresh skin. The whole day did wonders for all my skin bar my face, which has become a spotty and itchy rash-themed playground (that may have been the heat though).

Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates a	12
your best quality is	you dont need friends
your worst quality is	you get depressed sometimes
this is because	Its who you are
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

This is fun - although you kinda see how little I've seen the UK (bearing in mind I've ignored the places I've toured to 'cos you only really see the venue itself! So it's places I've lived and visited for a longish holidays).

I've visited the counties in yellow. Which counties have you visited? made by marnanel map reproduced from Ordnance Survey map data by permission of the Ordnance Survey. © Crown copyright 2001.

Spent today doing accounting catch ups for work - boring you'd think but it's actually been really fulfilling!!! Can't wait for tomorrow to finish the whole accounting year!

Once again, I leave it ages to write in this blog - I don't seem to be doing as much as I used to! Clubbing is pretty much down to a bare minimum, family is a bit hectic at the moment - Granddad in hospital (and been trying to break out!), we've decided to start getting rid of the business (which both Grandparentage have been working in full time...Granddad was 80 last year...Nana's been ill on and off for the last few years - crazy Maloney stubbornness methinks!). Things with the young man have been going very well - he's even invited me to meet his parents over (*vomits*).

Work as always is pretty hectic...

Otherwise recently I've decided to start swimming twice a week - but of course have only managed once a week...I do feel much better for it though (although I walk to and back from work - 90mins solid walking it doesn't seem to have made a jot of difference to my health!). Started doing the Artist's Way at Work. I started the Artist's Wayages ago and never quite got into it but hopefully this time I'll complete the 12 week programme. It's very much about clearing your 'blocks' replacing them creative productivity. A bit of a head spring clean!

Went to see The Pillowmanat the National Theatre on Saturday night - really fantastic bit of theatre. I love dark, brooding plays with a lot of humour in them! Literally laughing out loud during some bits and then suppressing the urge to leave in disgust at others.

There's so many plays that I want to see at National at the moment but you really have to trawl through and find those £10 tickets!

I LOVE the Libertines!!!!

Bugger, bugger, bugger...you know when you do something that you really regret...I really shouldn't be allowed a phone when I'm drunk. The boyf hinted that my housemates may have got me something for my birthday that I'd told one of them I didn't want (so after a very short amount of time I came up with tickets to the Libertines...).

So, being terribly rational way (yay, whatever) texted them in Madrid (on a holiday that I couldn't afford or take time of work to go on - so feeling a bit left out anyway). Pretty much been a bitch...I LOVE the Libertines, I do want to see them again, but I also want to see all my friends and my boyf on my birthday...but I got into a majorly weepy moment about the fact my housemates never listen to me...etc.

Also a very busy week at work, I feel over at the beginning of week and have sprained my ankle, loads of people have cancelled for birthday drinks on Sunday (one or two I can understand but loads - that means that no-one likes me, right?) and as you may be able to tell by my totally rational and un-psychotic behaviour, I having the worst period of my life.

Blah, blah, blah...fuck it. When I fuck up, I tend to do it spectacully!

Well, as Darian (Hey, Mr. Porn Star) says in true Boudicca fashion, I have written nothing for ages and now I'm going to list endlessly the things I've been doing!

Rocky Horror was ok, managed to get up and sing/dance along without too much embarrassment...it actually fact, it was quite good fun (and bumped into Darian - YAY!)

Errrr, haven't actually done too much else...invited boy/fs mates to The Museum of Everything at the Drill Hall, a comedy evening (which involved an old school mate of mine, Danny Robins - have a look at their website for more info- they really are very funny indeed!). I invited them because the last time we met (at boy/f birthday meal) things didn't go so well...in that, one of my best friends used to go out with boy/fs best friend and they were both there...and the other friend just didn't seem to like (as we know I'm fantastic and adorable, so fuck knows what their problem was). Anyway, making the effort, I invite them out to something I know that they'll like. Do they turn up? Nope. Bastards (I can feel the bile rising as I type).

Ooohhh, there was a 31st birthday which went well until boy/f got too drunk and almost started a fight with an ex-marine...he really did suffer badly the next day though!

A major girly day on Sunday 8th. Up to Ruislip (see how far we are willing to travel for food) with Carla, Lornie and Jessie for a major slap-up lunch.

Valentines went very well indeed...spent most of the weekend in bed only to rise for food and lager.

Oh, god, yes the major news of the recent times - Lucy and Kev have had baby girl. Grace Arthurs born around 7am on 15th February with lots of reddy brown hair, bluey green eyes and 6lbs something. Welcome to world, little one xxx

Went for a quiet drink last night with boy/f ended up at a Shoreditch art exhibition with a free bar...*vomits* *drinks 3 pints of water* *cries* "why, why, why???"

Suddenly, I have nothing much to do this afternoon...work "to do" list depends on other people getting back to me.

I wrote up a project timetable for all our training courses and then added everything to my task list in outlook express - booked till mid-march! I'm gonna start helping with applications to trusts/foundations and general marketing for the next few months because our fundraiser is leaving next week.

Actually went out on my bike last night - rode around for 45 mins or so - really good fun but the bike does need sorting (it kept making crunching noises!)

Have got SINGALONGA ROCKY HORROR at the Prince Charles Cinema tomorrow (which I'm still not sure I'm going to enjoy but it is free and I'm going with Richie and S&M Chris, so might be ok - I'll let you know)

Got on the guest list for 'Scope this Saturday with boyf and the house rats are coming too. Should be fun!

I hate the January blues...must get myself out of this hole, can't get out of bed, can't be arsed to walk to work, can't be arsed to go out clubbing, "I'm knackered", can't arsed to read any books (I have many currently by my bed...waiting...), I was so tired last night I was horrible to one of my housemates (just because I was being over sensitive!), can't revise...

Trying everything to get out of it - decided to start a new course - but everything that I want to do is during the day or on evenings where I have other things planned already. Invited an old school friend around for dinner last night - who I haven't seen for ages - but we spent the night yawning and curled up on my sofa (very enjoyable but when you think that we used to drink cheap, white cider together and dance for hours and hours!).

Tonight I wanted an early night...say 7pm? but Child of Our Time is on (which is fantastically interesting) and Shameless (which is a fantasic flashback to my childhood...that's a joke, daddy, as me and baby bro always woke you up before taking money from your pockets!!!)

Although, of course as a feminist I do agree with him but as a post-modern feminist, I feel that although I have the right to be an independent, self sufficient women with no need for love or a man; I can still demand the right to be a proper girly girl and I need to be told that my man loves and adores me!

So this year I decide - no resolutions 'cos they never work but instead I try to think about aims for the whole of the year but..*yawn*...they end up pretty much the same as those resolutions that I break every year...loose weight...stop biting nails...work harder...spend more time with friends...etc.

January blues are on me with a vengeance...

Plus my boy/f (who is wonderful in every way except one) -refuses to tell me he's in love with me...he agrees that yes, he has all the feelings that suggest he is in love with me but no, he won't say it because it doesn't really mean anything - love isn't a real concept apparently! Fuckwit...

Well xmas and new year have been and gone...very enjoyable time indeed but with no internet access sorted at the new place I haven't been able to update.

An advance from work made it a little easier to buy presents since I found out that pom-poms are great but don't suit all tastes!

My family were staying at mine - mum, dad, little bro and Jess and her boy/f Shaz were staying in London due to work commitments (note to self: never work in a Church over xmas!)

We had xmas dinner on xmas eve to reduce stress on the day - halal meat and loads of veg - really fantastic meal. My first, may I add...

Xmas day was very lazy...present opening didn't start until past 2pm..I got a few interesting books, some smellies, etc - no big present as I've been promised an creative zen jukebox MP3 player for my birthday in March (YAY!).

Jessie's mum and step-dad arrived in the evening for more presents and a buffet - um, more food.

The family were meant to be going to friends for boxing day lunch but they have, in true xmas fashion, split up...

So, we stayed in a watched the selection of DVDs that had been bought over (the house got a DVD player for xmas from Miss Carla Parr - hurrah!) and my present to the house was joining an online DVD club.

New year was quite a quite one for us - just a gang of us at the local pub - very enjoyable...but I had my first proper argument with the boy/f which seemed horrific until the morning when I found out that Jess and Shaz had actually split up (back together now - giving it another go).

Jess stayed in bed for two days with a major bout of vomiting and tummy bugness but got up for her birthday on 2nd - we had a lovely dinner for her and I made yummy cakes!

Since new years eve, our friend Courtney had been staying at our house...uninvited...he walked into my room without knocking on numerous occasions...leading to some embarrassment...told everyone he thought that he was schizophrenic (Attention Deficit Disorder more like) and then he came into my room (after 4 days and nights with us) when he'd been in the bathroom for over an hour, when I needed a shower...and told me he wanted labels for put on all his stuff so we wouldn't use it 'cos he was gonna leave it all at our house...I flipped...to say the least...but of course, he thinks that I'm in the wrong - nightmare!

January 7th - boy/f birthday - first chance for me to meet his friends (I know his best friend already 'cos he went out with house rat Lorna). We all went for beer, tapas and then more beer. Guess what, one of his friends? hates me! She sat saying nothing and glaring (or at least that's what it felt like!)

Back to work with a vengeance...but I did get to go to the premier of Cirque Du Soleil's Dralion last night - good show, best I've seen from them so far...much more comedy based and taking the piss out of themselves...we then went to the aftershow party at the Natural History Museum. Too busy really, but quite fun and I managed to get in a few glasses of champagne! Did a bit of C-list celeb watching...oohh, Michelle Collins! Also bumped into too many Ticketmaster people! (I am ex-Ticketmaster (mistress?); see I have done my time in hellish call centres!)

Failed to keep so many resolutions already - I've been late for work, bitten my nails, eaten fatty foods, drunk too much...not managed to save any money...blurg...yay, 2004!