Went for a quiet drink last night with boy/f ended up at a Shoreditch art exhibition with a free bar...*vomits* *drinks 3 pints of water* *cries* "why, why, why???"

Suddenly, I have nothing much to do this afternoon...work "to do" list depends on other people getting back to me.

I wrote up a project timetable for all our training courses and then added everything to my task list in outlook express - booked till mid-march! I'm gonna start helping with applications to trusts/foundations and general marketing for the next few months because our fundraiser is leaving next week.

Actually went out on my bike last night - rode around for 45 mins or so - really good fun but the bike does need sorting (it kept making crunching noises!)

Have got SINGALONGA ROCKY HORROR at the Prince Charles Cinema tomorrow (which I'm still not sure I'm going to enjoy but it is free and I'm going with Richie and S&M Chris, so might be ok - I'll let you know)

Got on the guest list for 'Scope this Saturday with boyf and the house rats are coming too. Should be fun!

I hate the January blues...must get myself out of this hole, can't get out of bed, can't be arsed to walk to work, can't be arsed to go out clubbing, "I'm knackered", can't arsed to read any books (I have many currently by my bed...waiting...), I was so tired last night I was horrible to one of my housemates (just because I was being over sensitive!), can't revise...

Trying everything to get out of it - decided to start a new course - but everything that I want to do is during the day or on evenings where I have other things planned already. Invited an old school friend around for dinner last night - who I haven't seen for ages - but we spent the night yawning and curled up on my sofa (very enjoyable but when you think that we used to drink cheap, white cider together and dance for hours and hours!).

Tonight I wanted an early night...say 7pm? but Child of Our Time is on (which is fantastically interesting) and Shameless (which is a fantasic flashback to my childhood...that's a joke, daddy, as me and baby bro always woke you up before taking money from your pockets!!!)

Although, of course as a feminist I do agree with him but as a post-modern feminist, I feel that although I have the right to be an independent, self sufficient women with no need for love or a man; I can still demand the right to be a proper girly girl and I need to be told that my man loves and adores me!

So this year I decide - no resolutions 'cos they never work but instead I try to think about aims for the whole of the year but..*yawn*...they end up pretty much the same as those resolutions that I break every year...loose weight...stop biting nails...work harder...spend more time with friends...etc.

January blues are on me with a vengeance...

Plus my boy/f (who is wonderful in every way except one) -refuses to tell me he's in love with me...he agrees that yes, he has all the feelings that suggest he is in love with me but no, he won't say it because it doesn't really mean anything - love isn't a real concept apparently! Fuckwit...

Well xmas and new year have been and gone...very enjoyable time indeed but with no internet access sorted at the new place I haven't been able to update.

An advance from work made it a little easier to buy presents since I found out that pom-poms are great but don't suit all tastes!

My family were staying at mine - mum, dad, little bro and Jess and her boy/f Shaz were staying in London due to work commitments (note to self: never work in a Church over xmas!)

We had xmas dinner on xmas eve to reduce stress on the day - halal meat and loads of veg - really fantastic meal. My first, may I add...

Xmas day was very lazy...present opening didn't start until past 2pm..I got a few interesting books, some smellies, etc - no big present as I've been promised an creative zen jukebox MP3 player for my birthday in March (YAY!).

Jessie's mum and step-dad arrived in the evening for more presents and a buffet - um, more food.

The family were meant to be going to friends for boxing day lunch but they have, in true xmas fashion, split up...

So, we stayed in a watched the selection of DVDs that had been bought over (the house got a DVD player for xmas from Miss Carla Parr - hurrah!) and my present to the house was joining an online DVD club.

New year was quite a quite one for us - just a gang of us at the local pub - very enjoyable...but I had my first proper argument with the boy/f which seemed horrific until the morning when I found out that Jess and Shaz had actually split up (back together now - giving it another go).

Jess stayed in bed for two days with a major bout of vomiting and tummy bugness but got up for her birthday on 2nd - we had a lovely dinner for her and I made yummy cakes!

Since new years eve, our friend Courtney had been staying at our house...uninvited...he walked into my room without knocking on numerous occasions...leading to some embarrassment...told everyone he thought that he was schizophrenic (Attention Deficit Disorder more like) and then he came into my room (after 4 days and nights with us) when he'd been in the bathroom for over an hour, when I needed a shower...and told me he wanted labels for put on all his stuff so we wouldn't use it 'cos he was gonna leave it all at our house...I flipped...to say the least...but of course, he thinks that I'm in the wrong - nightmare!

January 7th - boy/f birthday - first chance for me to meet his friends (I know his best friend already 'cos he went out with house rat Lorna). We all went for beer, tapas and then more beer. Guess what, one of his friends? hates me! She sat saying nothing and glaring (or at least that's what it felt like!)

Back to work with a vengeance...but I did get to go to the premier of Cirque Du Soleil's Dralion last night - good show, best I've seen from them so far...much more comedy based and taking the piss out of themselves...we then went to the aftershow party at the Natural History Museum. Too busy really, but quite fun and I managed to get in a few glasses of champagne! Did a bit of C-list celeb watching...oohh, Michelle Collins! Also bumped into too many Ticketmaster people! (I am ex-Ticketmaster (mistress?); see I have done my time in hellish call centres!)

Failed to keep so many resolutions already - I've been late for work, bitten my nails, eaten fatty foods, drunk too much...not managed to save any money...blurg...yay, 2004!