Odd Feelings

I have a cold which has spread to my ear and it's making me dizzy and spaced out. What with that and the heat, I keep thinking that I'm in the deep south sipping on mint julep's and waiting on the porch for a Tennessee Williams character to appear and not at my desk in South East London waiting to go home.

I think that I need another litre of water and a painkiller.

Errh, methinks I see a pattern emerging...

Good times = baking and seeing friends
Bad times = work

Joy afoot...

• I made my first batch of strawberry jam last weekend. It's currently in the cupboard getting rich and yummy.
• I baked berry muffins - they were lovely.
• I made bailey's and almond chocolate truffles as a b/day pressie for Ross
• I played hide and see and peak a boo with Lucy's kids
• I ate a very large slice of Jessie's millionaire's shortcake
• I saw Aron's exhibition
  

Problems afoot...

• Whenever I see my 3 page to do list I panic. I work for one company but we have a number of projects so I have colour coded tasks in excel for 4 different large projects. I can tick off when each task is done. I hide the completed tasks at the end of each week. These days even the ticking doesn't make me happy.
• I'm surrounded by paperwork - my in trays are literally sagging under the pressure (as am I)
• I woke up at 3am this morning and thought about works finance for 1 hrs before finally going back to sleep.

I think that I need to clear the to do's and in trays so I can sleep soundly during Easter.

Postbox for your unwanted baby miss?

Certainly, not a problem. I'm somewhat morally conflicted about this idea...

Memories from Last Night....

• Catching up with old lecturers
• Strawberry beer
  
• Dancing like a fool to golden oldie hits
• Singing on the tube home
  

"we love the chosen one
loving him is so much fun
we love the chosen one
not as much as me!

i love him with my heart
i love him with my body part
we love the chosen one
not as much as me!

i love him in the night
i love him with my body tight
we love the chosen one
not as much as me!"

Manic Street Preachers - Underdogs

This one's for the freaks
for you're so beautiful
for all the devotion
written in your soul

This one's for the freaks
for the lost and weak
for the butterflies and devotees
and the disciples of our destiny

"All out punk metal - Alice Cooper - Stooges guitar outro. Could have been on Generation Terrorist. A celebration of the unique, a post 'Everything Must Go' address to the fans 10 years after the first time we did it. In a Britain dominated by generic, one diametrical multi branding, let us embrace the difference - the downtrodden - the losers and the opposition. Let us fall in love with individuality again" Nicky Wire

Download from their website

On the agenda for the week

(I'm a busy, busy bee though undoubtedly I seem like a boring bee)

Today
Writing up minutes from meetings
Trying to confirm dancers for rehearsals and summer shows
Worrying about the massive to do list at work

Tuesday
Writing GFA application for 2 years of work
LBSU Arts Event

Wednesday
Meetings
Organic vegetable box delivery

Thursday
Meetings
Working on the Body penultimate session. It’s been a really important process and I think that I’m actually making some progress with my life and thoughts and beliefs about myself...

Friday and the Weekend
Escorting Nana for a blood test at Kings College Hospital – haven’t been back since dad died there…
The Hellfire Club at Bethnal Green Working Mans Club – must sort out an outfit.
Quiet weekend (one can only hope)

Other Things to Think About
Personal Action Plan for self development
101 things to do in 1001 days
Reading play scripts

…

Creativity is key

…

new poem about the ifwhyhowso reason to write........by Patrick Jones

kinetic

( for ethan evan and elian.......)

whether i write a rallying cry or desolate lament
i take aim, inhale, say what is meant
a truthfired fallopian fed by fury
a metaphorical mission
an inkmind incision
that shall be my irrefutable jury

words must not just live on the pale page

but ask questions, push, speak enraged
in the speaking of, i am reaching out
sometimes a whisper, sometimes a flood

i cultivate the i, to form the we
a culture of question, an act of redemption
my wordfreedom from mind intervention
a kinetic fusion yearning to be free
in this time
a century of screams
do we write or ignite
the
paper
rhyme or crime
tolerance or violence
against - for
sing me a silence
in need of a voice
paint me a saviour
who dreams of the noose
next time,
let us pour poetry into the mouths of those who commence the killing
let all nations belong to the coalition of the willing
because poetry is just action made words
and i chant it through the wounds of this earth

i walk in the paths of heaney and aneurin
speak in tongues of celan and caedmon
i have hope in the only religion that asks nothing from me
the mountains
the sky
the stars
didn't need a maker
only forged themselves
in brown and green
and blue was the colour that allowed us to dream
now, it carries a red scream

but i still believe in the written word
the ancient stream of consciousness, my only resurrection
that sparkles through grey
the inside turned outward
i shall speak my private thoughts
and it shall be the universal conviction
the battle cry
the elegy before i die
the coughed blood of bitter verb
the crystalled clasp of once forgotten verse
the peace exists in the word
and the word exists to fight for peace
waiting, waiting to be released.

So far today I have:

• received a lovely retro jam making kit and gingerbread cookie cutter family from the boyf (nesting, moi?)
  

• had happy birthday sung to me in a Spanish style by the boys from the upstairs offices

A bit of time wasting pre-work (it is my birthday!)

The Everything Test

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

Personality You are more emotional than logical, more concerned about self than concerned about others, more religious than atheist, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more traditional than rebel, more artistic mind than engineering mind, more idealist than cynical, more follower than leader, and more introverted than extroverted. As for specific personality traits, you are intellectual (87%), romanticreligious (80%), artistic (66%). (86%),

Stereotypes Punk Rock 100% Emo Kid 100% Hippie 83%

Life Experience Sex 31% Substances 68% Travel 26%

Politics Your political views would best be described as Socialist, whom you agree with around 100% of the time.

Socioeconomic Your attitude toward life best associates you with Middle Class. You make more than 0%35% less than the U.S. average. of those who have taken this test, and

If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13. By the way, your hottness rank is 64%, hotter than 90% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite

Memories of the weekend:

• The mothers endless search for a decent coffee
• Surprise parties with balloons and party poppers - hurrah!
  
• The whole room going quiet as I said rather loudly "threesomes"
• Glorious food
• Swimming in the jungle run river
• Walking in the morning sunshine
  
• Archery rocking my world - must join a club
  
• Wiii game play
• Homemade birthday cake - I heart lovely moist carrot cake (thank you Jessie!)
  
• Amazing presents - all I could want and so much more!
  
• Dancing to 'Tragedy' by Steps (with all the moves)
• Lunar eclipses
• Turtle and Josh winning at the casino
• Class A's in one villa, caperberries and olives in the next
  
• Cockney sing-a-longs in the last land train home
  
• Hearing tales of mud slides and drunken singing in the depths of the forest - and for once it wasn't me!
  
• Riding bikes and not using the brakes until the last minute
• Drinking naughty ferret
  
• Spa heaven
• Snuggling on the sofas in front of roaring flames
• Pancake house binging prior to returning home
• Sleeping like a baby last night and having to turf myself out of bed this morning
  

I'm a very lucky lady indeedy. 14 of my favourite people all mine for a whole weekend! Thank you to you all for making it a wonderful weekend.

Birthday celebrations don't stop there - tea and cakes on Wednesday too...yummy yum yum

Lazing Posting...

I know that I've been doing lazy youtube posting recently but I'm crazy busy at work and have not been socialising much. Nothing overly fun to report. However, just about to go away for my 30th so expect rattie shenanigans update next week! I'm going to do archery, kayaking, spa and swimming - hurrah!

I just snorted coffee through my nose...

I'm not afraid to keep on living...



I do believe that I've had the MCR album playing on my headphones for a little too long - my life is becoming akin to a goth rock opera.

I'm a GOD and I'm burning off my flesh - ready for the future...

Seeing Foxes

Fox Symbolism - Cunning, provider, intelligence, magic, diplomacy, wildness.

My father was a 'Foxall'. During the time before and as he was dying my mother and I both saw a number of dead foxes. The universe is funny sometimes - it needs to give you a good old kick up the arse for you to be able to 'get' things.

Then last night, after my first Working on the Body session I stopped to see a huge dog fox in a garden. He was yards from me and just looked; and looked; and looked; and looked at me. I think I can take that as a good sign.

Thinking about Dad.

The other day when I read about Anita Roddick having Hep C; I cried all the way home. I'm sad for her and what she and her family will undoubtedly have to go through but I'm also happy that Hep C will now get the attention it deserves. It's estimated that some 200 million people around the world have it and yet in the UK there is only one organisation that is there to support people suffering and their familes. If you do think about giving to charity please, please think about giving to Hepatitis C Trust

Even if you can't donate please sign their petition here to the Prime Minister to accept that the current public hepatitis C awareness campaign is not working and that the rate of diagnosis is nowhere near enough to prevent thousands of avoidable deaths.

Be still my beating heart...Russell Brand AND Noel Fielding...



and another with Russell rambling on...