Last years word was transformation - I searched high and low for positive role models to surround myself with, I fought with all my might against the dark depression which pulls me down every now and then. I read uplifting blogs, bought books, went to witch school, did endless online courses, filled in my workbooks, attempted to make eye contact with people... but still... I feel like haven't totally re-linked my brain to work with me instead of against. It feels like an uphill struggle and I'm not always sure I'm moving in the right direction. I'm trying to understand... to look at my past and accept the decisions I made then, to look at the present and show myself some forgiveness and understanding and to look forward to my future (and accept that I may actually have one - having your parent die in their 50s has created a bit of block beyond that point...).
This years word is self-care, I've explored 'myself' and worked towards transformation and now what I really need to do is look after myself to try and help towards putting some of that into practice. Understand that I'm a loud and often brash introvert that really needs downtime. Self time. Quiet. Calm. Hot baths. Massages. Happy music. Clean sheets. Less clutter. Walking to work. Breathing space. Beautiful smells. Magic. Intuition. Flowers. Writing paper. Creams and potions. Laughter. Gorgeous food.
I also need to accept my flaws and quirks and really work hard at loving myself. It's the only way that I'm going to move forward and move towards the light and away from the darkness.