During the last 7 days

Bad Things:
Work, work, work...bloody work
This bloody weather - veering from blood-boiling hot to thunder storm central!
Slipping back into caffine drinking (naughty Boo)

Good Things:
Visits to Winchester to see Bollywood Steps
Horniman's Museum for stunning music and dance from Yemen with traditional instruments and full Sanaani costume.
Drunken weekends with brother and mates - too much vodka!

Things to look forward to next week:
James Dean Bradfield at ULU
Fuerzabruta at The Roundhouse
The Now Show at Greenwich Theatre

So I didn't get to see Nicky Wire but after a day in the heatwave sunshine at Europride and then watching the football and eating ice creams and drinking beer, I could barely move from Carla's bed let alone pull myself together to go to a gig! There'll be another time I'm sure.

Yesterday was great fun - we got down to Hyde Park Calling made all the more better by the fact that my brother and mates weren't working so we all proceeded to get horribly drunk and stoned and lie in the sun all day. I'm feeling a little delicate today...



*vomits in lap*

During the last 7 days

Bad Things:
Temper tantrums
Finance quagmires (VAT)
Too many chocolate biscuits
Floods of unexplained tears
Lack of gym visits
Crap eyesight (that's getting much much worse)

Good Things:
Cooing at babies
Receiving a strawberry tart from my work mate - afternoon tea rocks
Pink butterfly filofax and notebook covers
Visits (short but sweet or should that be drunken?) from brother
New phone/MP3 player
New contact lenses
Dreaming of tattoos
A moment of pure enlightenment during my last counseling session (I 'got' how and why and wherefore now I just have to do something positive with it)

Inbetween:
Finding Russell Brand increasingly attractive - wrong!

I've been blogtagged by Jessie

Here are my 8 “interesting” things about myself.

8. I have a filthy temper, but I now am ok at repressing it (generally).

7. I self-published my first book of poetry at the age of 8 (I still dream of writing poems, plays and novels - but never really get around to it!).

6. When I'm nervous I bite and/or touch my lower lip.

5. I have met a number of celebrities:

a) The Beautiful South and Eddi Reader in the same evening at a Womad - Paul Heaton said some very rude things that I didn't 'get' at the time but as I've grown up I have realised they totally inapproaiate to say to an 9 year old girl. Eddi Reader was lovely and spent ages with me and my brother telling us silly jokes and doing impressions of other pop stars.

b) I've met all the Manic Street Preachers (a couple of times). Richie was really lovely and spent ages chatting with me and a friend about all the bands, music, writers we were into. Nicky was a bit of a twat but kept my brother entertained for ages - Nicky still owes my brother his pink sparkly shirt!

c) Neil from The Divine Comedy once actually asked me "do you know who I am?" I replied "yes I do and I'm never going to buy one of your records again" - TWAT!

d) I worked at a nightclub and I was in the toilet backstage once and Brian from Placebo started banging on the door and swearing at me - I came out in a right mood - it turned out that he thought his bass player in there. (for information - I'm 5' 8" and pretty big, Brian is 4" and legally classed as a dwarf, he was shit scared)

e) I once had the chance to meet David Bowie backstage but I had to walk past him instead - I could bearly breathe let alone talk...

f) Lauren Laverne is lovely but is very boring on stage.

4. As I grow older I become more interested in things like murder mystery novels, board (bored?) games, visiting museums, taking an interest in flowers, etc...I'm 29 going on 80 plus. It worries me...

3. I love to cook almost as much as I like to eat.

2. I verge on OCD constantly, in everything I do.

1. My name really is Boudicca, my mother named me after looking out of the window of the hospital were I was born over the Thames after I was born and saw the statue and it stuck. I've grown into my name over the years - I am a warrior queen through and through.

"She was huge of frame, terrifying of aspect, and with a harsh voice. A great mass of bright red hair fell to her knees: she wore a twisted torc, and a tunic of many colours, over which was a thick mantle, fastened by a brooch. Now she grasped a spear, to strike fear into all who watched her." Dio Cassius

I've realised that I lurk on lots of people's blogs but don't make contact with a lot of them - so I have no one to tag that hasn't already been done by my extend linkage...if there are any lurkers out there, you're welcome to accept a blogtag from me!

I probably won’t be able to go because it's a date of the show I'm working on down in Winchester *cries a river* (and causes nationwide floods). I literally can't imagine doing anything more perfect with my time...

*TOTALLY WIRED*

You've read the rumours. You've heard the hints. And we can now officially confirm the extremely exciting news: NICKY WIRE'S SECRET SOCIETY will be performing live at Stay Beautiful on SATURDAY 1st JULY. Following his triumphant debut at the Hay On Wye literary festival, this will be the first London solo show from the MANIC STREET PREACHERS bassist, lyricist and motormouth. Wire's first solo album, I KILLED THE ZEITGEIST, is due for release in September, and downloads are being posted occasionally at http://www.nickyssecretsociety.com. The Manics were a vital formative influence upon Stay Beautiful (obviously, since we're named after one of their songs), so it's a great honour to be hosting this show. There are NO ADVANCE TICKETS, and we're anticipating an incredibly busy night, so please ARRIVE EARLY to avoid disappointment. Doors open at 9.00pm, and Nicky and his band will be onstage at approximately 10.30pm. Be there. It's gonna be unforgettable.

Feeling slightly better today, spent yesterday clearing those pesky 'to dos' from my list. By the end of this week my aim is to cut my 'to do list' to 1/2 a page of a4 rather than usual 2 sides!

Then I spent the evening with Jessie, we forced ourselves to go the gym and then back to hers for pre-pay day fodder (which was damn yummy!). I got overtired quite quickly so had to retire early but enjoyable nethertheless.

Tonight, we're visiting Lucy, Kev and the kids - which I'm really looking forward to. There's nothing better for the soul than playing with toddlers and snuggling cute, fat babies.

Song Lyrics of the Day: Together by The Raconteurs

"You want everything to be just like
The stories that you read but never write
You gotta learn to live and live and learn
You gotta learn to give and wait your turn
Or you'll get burned"

I'm veering from one extreme to the other. I've spent some of today looking for anger management classes, starting a psychology of high performance course, ticking off my 'to do' list and working out ways of sorting out my life...

There are a number of things missing from my life - motivation, energy, self control. I don't know who I am anymore. All the things that I have used to measure my 'self' are in disarray and don't mean anything...My likes have turned into dislikes and I see myself reflected in the tantrum tempers of the Big Brother wankers for fucks sake!

I feel

overstressed, out of control, nervous, overwhelmed, uneasy, tense, confused, unwanted, unappreciated, powerless, victimised, frightened, infuriated, spiteful, listless, unoccupied, restless...

How on earth can I get out of this hole?

Today I have mainly:

~ cried at my desk (general darkness, nothing in particular).
~ shouted at artistic directors.
~ slammed about the photocopier.
~ perved on clearly gay dancers during rehearsals (shake that ass in a bollywood way for me boy, etc!).
~ had a rushed telephone conversation with Janimal to welcome her back to the UK - she's currently nursing midge bites and feeling much happier to be home.
~ wished my brother a great big "Happy Birthday"

basically...I can't wait for the weekend!!!

I should go to the gym this evening but all I want to do is go home and chill out. Take advantage of the peace and quiet while the match is on...take a long bath with lots of goodies and get an early night. Mind you, early nights is all I seem to be doing at the moment. I feel in some ways that I should mourn the loss of my 'wild side' but I'm pretty sure that it isn't gone completely. I mean, after all, I even drank some real caffeinated coffee this afternoon (mistake - just force of habit during a meeting!). Rock on! Living on the edge!

My Lovely Family Updates:

Last email from Janimal in Russia

June 15th

"This is my last day and all teaching has finished. I made my first and
probably last Russian joke. G'day is Dobre den and the guy who runs the sub marine internet caf is called Dennis - you got it #Dobre Dennis#. It raised an ironic smile - not bad.

Last night we gathered on a balcony to drink beer (not me) and eat take away pizza (hot - a special treat - the food here is luke warm if u r lucky - in the sanitorium not the whole of Russia) We provided mosquitoes with plenty of blood and I sloped off when the whiskey
arrived!

Today all the other teachers are playing pioneer ball - like volley ball but you can run with the ball & pass it to your team. As the towels are being removed they will all be sweaty on the plane I fear. I will not be watching, as they thought! Sounds too much like work and it's near the mozzie area - had enough of that. So, I came in to town to send this missive. I am also trying to track down pine vodka which is a local speciality as we are surrounded by pine trees - quite handy for my nature walks. On nice days they have to go out for activities and while all the sporty set jump around with balls and hoops with htem, I've been taking them for nature walks. Reminds me of when u 2 were little. The river for a chat about fish, then to see the ducks, goose and swan and collect feathers, then to see the horse and the pony and lastly you can
pick wild flowers to take back! Lots of English and kids often not knowing what the hell I'm on about - some r only 7! Still pleasant enough. Oh yes and they collect pine cones - that's where I started."

Dash recently did a shark dive for charity (thanks to all of you who sponsored him!)

Here he is before he got in!

One of those ridiculous mememe’s that are doing the rounds on blogs:

A - Available: certainly not, how rude.
A - Age: 29
A - Annoyance: rudeness in other people (I don’t mind it in me!)

B - Best Friend: The Rats and extended rat family
B - Bar: don’t really ‘do’ bars, certainly don’t have a favourite.
B - Birthday: March 7th

C - Crush: Gosh, there are so many where should I start? Howard T J Moon (AKA Julian Barrett) is my current paramour, Matt Willis, Christopher Walken, Carl Barrett, Brendan Fraser, Johnny Depp, Robin Ince, Stewart Lee, Nicky Wire, Jack White, Cillian Murphy, should I stop yet. I adore looking at a beautiful man. It’s all in the eyes…that knowing sparkle!
C - Car: none, although I have been thinking that I should retry my driving test again soon. The idea of being able to escape is currently very appealing.
C - Cat: none but I’d love some, I currently have my online kitten to your right and I have soft toy that I’ve fallen in love with…

D - Dead Pet’s Name: Cats – puzzle, zebadee. Hamster – too many to mention!
D - Dad’s name: Lee
D - Dog: none, boyf would like a Jack Russell though. Not too sure – I’d quite like a labradoodle just so I could laugh at it!

E - Easiest person to talk to: my mum
E - Eggs: well done, I hate those see through bits in the white when they aren’t cooked right.
E - Email: biteme@youloveus.com

F - Favourite colour: black, red, pink
F - Food: there’s nothing that I don’t enjoy but I always go back to pesto, cheese, nice bread, hot pepper sauce, sushi, miso soup, rahmens…
F - Foreign Slang: Boo, as in a boyfriend or girlfriend e.g. "I love you, Boo." – not that I’m self centred or anything.

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: neither, sour jellies
G - God: Right, are you ready…“god” is basically an easily understandable symbol, humans use symbols to describe difficult or abstract concepts like the interaction of spirit and body. These symbols or allegories allow us to understand things like energy and spirit and self, they allow conceptual thinking…i.e. all religion is allegory. We are hard wired for belief - we need to make some sort of sense of the world around and inside us...

"So God is dead, like Nietzsche said/Superstition is all we have left" 1985, Manic Street Preachers

G - Good Time: long, hot, relaxing baths with candles and smellies!

H - Hair Colour: dyed black (red black, blue black makes me look like I’m about to die)
H – Height: 5'8"
H - Happy: really happy only quietly…and not too often.

I - Ice cream: I like the grown up stuff - vanilla, coffee, pistachio and if I’m feeling wild a ‘99
I - Instrument: none, although I did once get a grade 1 in flute –rock and roll!
I - Idol: Again, so many! Brian Patten, Nicky Wire, William S Burroughs, Allen Ginsberg, Joss Whedon, Roman Dirge, Jhonen Vasquez the list goes on…

J - Jewellery: 4 silver, one rope pattern one from Lorna on my left little finger, one curly one on my first finger of my right hand, one amber one on my ring finger of my right hand, one curly, Celtic one on my little finger of my right hand.
J - Job: Arts Administrator
J - Joke: ok, are you ready for this because you will weep with the joy that this joke gives you?

When a pee falls from your plate onto the floor, look at it and point and say “Escape-Pee”.

What do you mean it isn’t funny? That’s the funniest thing in the world, a joke for all. The universal joke, if you will.

K - Kids: none yet…”I want a fucking baby!”
K - Karate: black belt, mate. Why? You wanna start something?
K - Kung fu: Bruce Lee’s got nothin’ on me!

L - Longest Car Ride: I get car sick, they all feel like the longest ride…*vomits into lap*
L - Longest Relationship: I once almost made the 6 years mark…I’ve been with the latest one for 2 years and 10 months. I don’t really do short relationships, I’m in it for the long haul.
L - Last thought: trying to remember my colleagues password that I gave her and where I put the cunning numbers instead of letters

M - Milk Flavour: Loveliness = McDonalds Strawberry Milkshake
M - Mother’s Name: Jan (or janimal the animal, depending on mood)
M - Movie Last Watched: X-Men 3 at the cinema (I sobbed like a child when Xavier got killed, so glad I went by myself!) and Serenity at home (which was kick ass great)

N - Number of Siblings: 1 baby bro (I say baby, what I mean 27 this week...)
N - Northern or Southern: Well, Southern by birth but Northern by traits and where I’ve spent the most time.
N - Name: Boudicca Lee Maloney

O - One Wish: after just spending half an hour trying to sort out my finances – never to have to worry about money again…
O - One Phobia: Moths – bloody hate them
O - Otter Pop: Eh? Otters I like. Pop I like. Together I’m not so sure. Am I missing something is otter pop some weird sexual thing that I haven’t done yet? Just done an internet check and it seems that otter pops are ice pops, in which case I like the blue raspberry ones.

P - Part of your appearance you like best: I’m a goddess, we don’t have to choose the best bits we’re totally amazing (moi ego be bloody quiet for one minute, eerrrhh, eyes?)
P - Parents, are they married or divorced: not married but cohabited (but only after the children had grown up and left home)
P - Part of your personality you like best: see above

Q - Quick or Slow?: Quicker than lightening
Q - Queen or Queer?: Queen of Fucking Everything!
Q - Quiet or Loud?: veer from one to the other at alarming speeds

R - Reason to smile: when listening to your CD player in the street or on the tube and you actually want to jump up and air guitar to the best bit but you can’t – a smile to yourself is enough!
R - Reality TV Shows: hate them but once they are on I can’t turn over.
R - Right or Left: Politically left, right handed

S - Song Last Heard: The new Embrace World Cup football song. Danny McNamara reaching some amazing high notes quite badly. Shit but I know that I’ll be singing alone within 2/3 more plays on Xfm
S - Season: Autumn
S - Sex: often, thank you.

T - Time you woke up: 8.20am – I should have got up at 7.30am…but I’m lazy.
T - Time Now: 2pm – doing this is more fun than going out for lunch.
T - Time for bed: I’ll go to bed at 10pm but won’t get to sleep until the pips go on radio 4

U - Unknown Fact about me: a really embarrassing one – I was once so bored during a school assembly I sat there eating my bogies…I was 8!
U - Unicorns: love ‘em, always eating the roses in gardens though.
U - U are: you are, if you please.

V - Vegetable you hate: I quite like vegetables – I used to refer to the broad bean as the devils bean but I’ve grown up a bit and quite like them now.
V - View on Politics: I used to want to be a political journalist and I still like to listen to Today in Parliament but mainly to moan about it all.

V - Victoria's Secret: that she’s anorexic and dreams of having a breast larger than 22 A???

W - Worst Habits: I have so many…nail biting, remote control hogging, swearing like a navvy, the weird OCD habits, etc
W - Where are you going to travel next?: Planned holiday - Egypt – 2 weeks in December. I’m already overexcited. I'm also hoping for a holiday with the boyf in September if I can get the time off work - anywhere...just hot and cheap.
W - Weight: I’m a lady, I don’t need to answer that.

X - X-Rays: quite handy for looking inside you?
X - Xylophone: I played one once during a school play, I rocked out!
X - Xenon: Number 5 on the periodic table? (interesting fact: xenon is present in the Martian atmosphere to the extent of about 0.08 ppm)

Y - Year you were born: 1977
Y - Year it is now: 2006
Y - Yellow: nicotine stains and wee

Z - Zoo Animal: Crazy llamas and the day the llama got out, went crazy and started hoofing the public, "hoofing doctors, hoofing vicars". There’s only one way to calm a llama down:

Calm a llama down
Calm a llama deep down in the ocean blue
Like a barnacle
Sitting in the tight place
Laughing like a monkey arm
Pulling like a china boy
Caraway caraway caraway noise
Boing chika masala
Boing chika masala
Ooooooo tooth tooth (sharp intake of breath)

The Mighty Boosh

Z - Zodiac: Piscean.
Z - Zoolander: a quite rubbish film that I watch because David Duchovny was in it!

Janimal Russia Updates:

June 10th

"I'm wearing a T shirt saying "Vodka Connecting People# in the Vodaphone font. Bought it for Dashbags - i hope a wash will make it still ok - I sat through my first footie match 2night. England v Paraguay Not a great match but no longer a football virgin.

After the talent show with all the designer parents (one kid wore Dolce & Gabana wellies on the trip to the cattle farm!) there were 3 taxis laid on 4 the English staff to go to the Sports Bar
in town to watch the first english match of the world cup Seemed churlish to refuse and I knew the bar had a good screen and alco beer! Also nought else to do so I went.

I left just after match over, mooning, shouting, spilt beer but just before broken glass, threatening goons and tears!!!

Escaped to the submarine internet caff again with the young lads game playing. On the way I passed women collecting water from the stand pipe to take back to little wooden houses nestling between grotty blocks of flats."

June 10th

"Narrafaminsk - that's the name of the town - my spelling - where I now hang out!

We had the 10 & 11 year olds rocking it to Back in the USSR - very successful- took lots of work to get them singing along with the Beatles. And I got them to write a newspaper - beats actually teaching them! Gotta scrape the barrel for these last 3 days - I haven't played consequences yet but that won't last long!"

The weather in London has gone from blistering heat to torrents of rain - outside my work window the world looks grey and very wet indeed. Thunder and lightening directly overhead, cars on the road surfing through huge puddles (lakes?), my windows open open to the fullest point breathing in the refreshing, clean air. I love a good downpour - it cleans everything away and prepares for the next epoch (my hands are on the keyboard trying to stop gathering up two of everything on the desk...)

The lads in the downstairs office are actually flooding...bail out, bail out!

Nicky Wire's Secret Society - I don't think that there is a measurement for just how excited I am about this...a non-album download track too. Oh, The Wire, you are spoiling us!

Disclaimer: these emails are a true and accurate record of my mothers time in Russian. Mum, you can't sue me for putting these on my site (and anyway, Jess made me!)

Jan is currently in Russia teaching for 3 weeks. Her emails have been increasing odd...

May 28th

"kids cool, I'm staying in a sanitorium - a nurse binds my foot at 9am and 9pm everyday
Now in interent cafe in shopping centre under Kremlin - we just went on Moscow metro getting off to see the gorgeous stations - 4got camera!!!"

June 3rd

"Back in my inter caff - thought to email e to get me a dental appt! On return.

Not much luck on amber so far - no green to be seen all lush trad big lumps of the well...amber stuff.

This holiday job is quite a strain I must say - a very different culture all those years of communism have left their mark, big time For eg we're expected to sit at separate tables with the children at meals - one break they didn't come in so we were sitting together and having a cuppa & chat - the English teachers - and the woman running it (younger than you!) comes over and tells us we must sit with the children - even of they're not there it seems!!!!

Dotty!"

June 7th

"Hi kids hows tricks?

I'm nibbled by mozzies, patrolled by Russian teachers and mobbed by spoilt Russian brats. Still, it's nearly time to come home! And this week is moving faster because my foot is better and I can go out! Bus and a walk down a dirt track and hurrah internet - here I am with all the local yoofs playing games! in a place3 done to look like a submarine!!!

Weird and wonderful - off to a sports bar after to drink and watch tennis - I found non alco Becks in Moscow - don't believe I'll be so lucky here in hicksville."

June 7th

"thought i send you some russian lettering*
??????? ??????? ??????????
????????? ??????????????? ????????????????????? ?
???????890?0??????????????????

?????????????????
????? ????? ????? ???????

Do you agree?
I thought you would.

love
mum
xxx"

Only a week to go and she returns to the UK...she went away crazy, will she return even crazier?!?

*which of course, doesn't show correctly on the old interweb...but I did babelfish it and it isn't in Russian - I should decode it and find out the KGB secrets that she's trying to pass into this country...nah, can't be arsed!

Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy

Things I steal from SargentPepper:

Your Personality Is Like Acid

A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict. One moment you're in your own little happy universe... And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

So, first day back after a [shit] week off and back to a load of fucking shit. I wish I could curl up into a ball and fucking die....I wonder if they are the sucidial thoughts that the website research has warned me about...

Ok, so no posts for a while. I've been on leave from work and removed myself from internet and mobile phone usage. I'm am currently in prozac withdrawal as I went to my doctor as I felt that I was still getting side effects from the prozac, he however thought that I needed a higher dose. Unfortunately he gave me the drug that I'd had a previous horrible reaction to...I didn't notice until a few days later when I was acting most peculiar. I went to the doctor and gave him a piece of my mind, he took me off the drugs and told me in actual fact the side effects that I thought I was having still were actually a low level allergic reation...the joy. During the past week I have been suffering from a number of the symptoms below. They only last for 4-6 weeks though...I really can't take much more of this...

Withdrawal Symptoms from Prozac:
Anxiety
Dizziness
Fatigue
Restlessness
Tremors
Visual hallucinations
Diarrhea
Blurred vision
Headache
Insomnia
Nausea
Vomiting
Muscle and joint pain
Jolting electric "zaps"
Tingling sensations
Vertigo
Anorexia
Agitation
Gait disturbances
Sweating
Fever
Abdominal discomfort
Flu symptoms and general malaise
Irritability
Aggression
Lethargy
Weakness
Myalgia
Chills and hot flashes
Crying spells
Suicidal thoughts
Sleep disturbance and insomnia
Nightmares
Vivid dreams
Confusion
Memory and concentration difficulties

Our new rattie recruit is doing very well, today I have given her a black star for this effort (the emails started of discussing what to get Carla for her birthday pressie!)

"AHHHHHHHH...MOOOOOO...WAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAH

LOOK AT THE VIRILENT AND DEBAUCHED EMAIL SOCIETY I HAVE CREATED!!! ALL THINGS FOUL AND BASE FLOCK THROUGH THE WIRE, AHAHAHAHAHA

HELEN IS ROPEY TART MOOOHAHA

JESS'S GRAMMAR IS VERBATIM

BOO IS THE ALMIGHTY BEELZEBUB TO WHOM I PLEDGE MY SATANIC/SATIRICAL OFFERINGS

AND LORNY...WELL SHE HIDES HER HORNS VERY WELL BENEATH HER BARNET

MOO HAHA EVIL PREVAILS"

© our very own raticus juniorus, Leo

So I went to the doctors on Friday and told him that I felt that I was still getting side effects (agitation, dry mouth, sleeplessness, headaches, dizziness, sweating, etc) from the fluoxetine. He told me it was actually because I needed a higher dose...I thought, what the fuck he might be right, I'll try anything to stop feeling this way. Unfortunately he hadn't read my notes and gave me 30mgs of paroxetine instead. It is a similar drug but I had a huge reaction against this a few months ago when I only took 3 x 20mgs (which I liken to coming up on an ecstasy tablet for ooohhhh 24hrs and then a major withdrawal crash for the next two days when I wasn't taking it). However, I didn't notice his mistake until it was pointed out to me by boyf this morning. That explains the last couple of days severe manicness, depression, dry mouth, vomiting, dizziness, agitation, headache, muscle contractions and excess sweating, etc!

Went to the doctor in a rage this morning only to be kept waiting for 1hr 30mins all the while the agitation increasing! He did admit his mistake and now suggests that I fact I was right and the side effects were happening while I was taking fluoxetine (on a smaller scale than the last few days!). So no more tablets for me and fingers crossed the withdrawal won't be as bad as last time. Additionally I have a big old sign on my medical record saying "Severe allergic reaction to fluoxetine, paroxetine and all other medicines in this family".

and oh, by the way James Dean Bradfield fucking rocked last night at the Barfly! Even cram packed into a room the size of a shoe box James Dean Bradfield managed pull me out of myself and onto another plane. I'm always amazed when a song is able to tell you about your life, to reflect yourself back at you and make you question all you believe in one minute and then bring you back to earth with a jolt the next. He was a jongleur, a minstrel, a poet-singer, a troubadour for me and me alone...

(or perhaps that was all the drugs?)

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song"
Maya Angelou

Oh and I told the boyf about my suggested names for our children...to say he was unimpressed would be an understatement. However, he did come back to the subject when he was less drunk and suggested that our children could have "weird" middle names and then suggested Enfys (pronounced EN-vess - which is Welsh for rainbow)...strange boy.

Even in today's work quagmire of urgent insurance and VAT returns, I'm still inwardly shouting to myself "I'm seeing James Dean Bradfield tonight!!!" - very over excited methinks.

I have done some more research and the smell is my hair cream - I usually mix it with other products but haven't for a few weeks. I feel much happier now.

Strange things are afoot in the world of Boo:

Firstly, I have developed a strange new smell. Not an awful smell but an odd, sweaty smell. I've changed my deo, my purfume and my shower gel and none of it has made a jot of a difference. Thinking that it might be my hair so I'm going to try and wash it much more, the boyf thinks that I don't wash it enough anyway...so he'll be happy.

Secondly, I'm unable to buy any new trousers. I have tried. I've been in every shop (not that many but I am a big girl most shops don't do my sizes) that I could and nothing fit or looks quite right. I am currently stuck in light blue jeans and my inner goth is screaming to get out of them...

Thirdly, I have developed an strange new habit. I find things cute all the time. I like pictures of cute animals on the internet (a thing which has sickened me previously). I have also bought a new toy kitten which I can't leave alone - *adopting a talking to babies voice* he's got such lovely big green eyes and wonderful soft silky black fur.

Going soft in my old age?

Xfm are having a Manic Monday - playing lots of Manic Street Preachers songs and giving away tix for James Dean Bradfield's solo show (I have already bought tickets!) and I'm loving it. I keep having to turn the stereo up damn loud and resist from shouting along to all the tracks...You Love Us, Found that Soul, Motorcycle Emptiness bring them all on!!!

"Found That Soul"

Show me a wonder
You can't be sure of
I exist in a place
A self-made vacuum
But still stranded here
With all the scum
So clean - so lost - so beautiful

But I found that soul
Yeah I found that home
But I found that soul

Last night I didn't get to sleep until well past 3am - unable to stay still in bed, I went to the front room and listened to the commentary on the Mighty Boosh box set on 3 episodes which resulted in very strange dreams (mainly involving the lovely Howard Moon and some jazz free forming - there's still a wry smile on my lips today…). I woke up at 6am and got into bed with boyf who then woke me up in the morning by putting a note by my head saying that he didn't wake me up because I like to sleep!

Thoughts recently have been about getting a tattoo in memory to my dad - another dream last night involved a beautiful, sparkling, moving tattoo on my right hand shoulder and arm made up of flowers, ants, insects, whirling dervishes, books, album covers and various animals. Not sure if I’m going to be able to recreate that but I’m going to bloody try!

I also dreamt that Jan bought a 15 bedroom house in Hastings for £400K (it needed quite a bit of work but she was really looking forward to it). The dream was so real that I’ve just had to call Iain at the house and double check that it really was a dream!

Although I had very little sleep, I do feel better. I had the chance to think a few things through (I say a few things – those of you who know me or read this blog regularly know that I’ve had more than a few things on my mind!). It would have been my dad’s birthday at the end of May; the beginning of June marks the 6th month point after his death. While he was dying, I promised him a few things and it’s time to start to pull myself together and get started on them.

I had a very enjoyable few days in Brighton at Streets of Brighton which I’ll update on shortly as I saw loads of great shows. Also went to see Les Ballets C de la B last night (a heavily sex and death themed event!). I bought tickets to go and see James Dean Bradfield (him of MSP fame) do a solo show on Wednesday at the Barfly in Camden – very over-excited already.

I’m taking a week off work during the following week – which I’m really looking forward to. I keep thinking that I’d like to book myself in for a massage and a bit of a pamper somewhere and truly relax.

p.s. I'm also so bloody broody that I've named my children - a boy called Kellen (meaning mighty warrior, strong-willed) and a little girl called Shayla (meaning "from the fairy palace"). I'm sure that boyf won't mind...

You Are The High Priestess

You represent mystery - secrets that are yet to be revealed. You find yourself sitting between two worlds: one dark, one light. You tend to hold these two worlds in balance, reconciling the two. Open and welcoming, you invite others to learn your secrets. Your fortune: Something hidden, or latent, in your life is about to come forward. You need to pay more attention to your dreams, thoughts, intuition, and imagination. And if that involves tapping into your dark side, it will all balance out in the end. You have a lot of potential dying to be unleashed, so let those gates open!

What Tarot Card Are You?

Tapping into my dark side?!? I don't need to tap into it anymore than I have already!

This morning Jan-Jan and I went through the grandparents old house (they have moved to a small place) and I am now the proud owner of:

A decanter (spotty and oddly patterned and a little bit chipped)
Salad serving spoons
A moulinex blender
An old camera
A sailor doll that needs some TLC
Some wooden patterned eggs
2 lace hankies
A hair dryer

Not a bad haul for an hour. We're debating about keeping the Heals glass coffee table that I used to lay under when I was a child pulling faces at anyone who cared to put their coffee on it...I'd love to have it but not sure if there's enough room in the flat.

I also removed a dead mouse from the front room (dealing with dead animals is a recurring event in my recent life - Hecate is meddling too much with me methinks!)

Today is busy at work. Getting ready for a work visit to Brighton tomorrow and trying to sort out various other bits and bobs. I've asked by boss for some time off soon as I'm clearly not coping very well with the darkness that surrounds me. I don't think that I had enough time after my dad's death to really deal with the impact that it would make on my life. Boss was very good about it and agreed that I didn't take enough time. Hopefully the week break that I have during the first week of June will get me back onto the straight and narrow (or back onto the crooked and wide maybe!)

Sunday was wonderful (elephant madness, cuddling of lovely babies, pulling faces with cute little girls, nice lunches, catching up with mates, gifting left over sandwiches to the visiting burners at the mile end rat house, getting lovely pressies from Russia, ordering lovely amber from Russia) but now it is Monday and my life has once again fallen into the darkness...this fucking life!

My little bro is doing a sponsored swim with sharks for sense Scotland (who support sensory-impaired disabled children and adults in Scotland). He needs to raise £500 to be able to take part and swim with sharks, which is a life long ambition of his.


I really hope that you can help - any donation would be welcome!

Follow this link: Dash’s Sense Scotland page

You scored as Socialist. <'Imunimaginative's Deviantart Page'> Socialist 100% Green 92% Anarchism 92% Democrat 67% Communism 42% Republican 33% Fascism 17% Nazi 0% What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In? created with QuizFarm.com

A bit of mememe before I leave work!

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	5.1
Mind:	3.8
Body:	3.6
Spirit:	6.3
Friends/Family:	4.7
Love:	7.7
Finance:	7.1
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Wonderful weekend in Hastings - we saw May Day in by rising before dawn to join the Morris Men on the Ladies Parlour to help dance the dawn in...it was pissing down. We lasted 1/2 hr before we went onto to a surreal breakfast at the Beacon, a mix of clubbers who had been up at night and over tired hippies. After this adventure I went back to Jan's to catch up on sleep, when I woke the Morris men had done their work and it was really sunny (although windy). Later in the day we went onto the castle for more Morris men madness and down to Hastings town centre to admire the bikers who congregate en masse on the seafront:

We ate fish baps, watched kids kick dead fish at their dad and got sunburnt. The journey home was the usual bank holiday affair – an annoying, drunk, loud South African, a drunk arguing couple and annoying children. Got back to London and vowed to move out of it as soon as I can, dirty, horrible, place, full of paranoid, wanky fools – I could feel my blood pressure rising as we pulled into London Bridge.

He was a hero of mine, a beautiful, ranting, despairing troubadour...but I can't take any more shameful acts from the man. Living the dream, fuck forever, searching for Albion...no, no, NO, you will not find Albion in a grotty, heroin and crack soaked flat in east london, you wanker.

Now fuck off out of my sight you useless twat!

Today has descended into finance nightmare...I need to get some bloody confidence with the accounts. I am actually quite bright (if I do say so myself) and I'm the only person I know that keeps a spreadsheet of my own personal finances - why oh why can't I cope with business ones?

From a fuck up, no money, oh fuck what are we going to do to a it's ok, we're ok, in the space of an hour and a half - man, am I looking forward to the long, bank holiday weekend. My heart and stomach acid wasn't made for this!

I'm meant to be in the gym but I'm still at work...got caught up in updating the webs*ite. Might have to force myself to get up early and go then instead. I'm also hoping to do an aqua class in the gym by work on Friday (which I'll have to pay for but my gym membership doesn't have any aqua classes - the buggers!).

I was at counselling last night and I realised that I'm still really angry about my dad dying. Angry at him for leaving me, angry at how we were dealt with at the hospital, angry that we didn't have longer with a sober dad, angry that we had so long with a drunk dad, just plain angry at everything it seems! It feels like it all hurts much more at the moment because the mist of numbness and shock is only just lifting and I'm getting back to 'normal' me. I'm also swinging from thinking that I'm being ridiculously self indulgent to feel this way to screaming inside that 'my dad's fucking dead, what the fuck am I going to do!'.

Just venting is all...

At least when I went to the counsellor she let me know that a lot of my reactions are perfectly normal reactions to the death of a close relation. Bloody hell, it's been almost 5 months of craziness, I just want to get through this year.

I'm glad that our office will be closed for all of December as it means that I don't have to be working on the 'anniversary', I really don't think that I could take that.

My specialist bitching subjects at the weekend were men, chocolate, the DLR, work, computers, DVDs, crap music, annoying spam emails, hair dye, cold sores, coffee judders, fags, deodorant, my space, hand cream, pens that always run out of ink, race equality action plans for ACE which are 3 days late, xfm presenters, weight watchers yogurt and snack a jacks for snacks, ISAN members, periods, lack of sleep, sheets that don't fit mattresses, breakfast cereals, damp towels left on floors, having no clean clothes, headaches, plasterers, decorators that won't do a job for £80 (cash in hand!), intimidating decorators that think because you're a woman you have no idea what they are talking about, broken teeth, ladies magazines, diet magazines, being late for everything, spending too much time in bed playing backgammon on your phone because you can't sleep (and loosing!), the thirst for wine, teeth grinding, bosses (who are quite nice but sometimes useless - if you want me to do something, just ask me to do it - I can't read your mind!), ACE financial reports, website designers who you're paying £7.5K coming up with ideas that I could have pulled out of my arse....*breathe* *breathe* did I miss anything? Oh yes, Paul Weller emails that start 'Exciting News!' no it isn't, you're Paul Weller you haven't done anything exciting since the Jam (apart from the Wild Wood album but I'm not going to let that get in the way of a rant!)

I felt suprisingly better after getting a wee bit drunk on Friday night (a quiet drink in a local pub that ended up with me forcing people to drink absinth and tequila!). Saturday night I felt almost human again and popped around to the rat house to catch up on some bitching and wine drinking. Lovely Julie 'popped in' for a couple of hours (after a 24hr shift!) from Oxford to join in too, hurrah!

I was meant to do sensible stuff like go to the Tate this weekend but I just stayed in bed (only leaving to stock up on food from the corner shop) and watching Sharpe. Second part this evening - I will be rushing back from my counselling session for it (nevermind about my mental stability, I want some Sean Bean hero worship!)

I was told at the weekend to release my ego...I think it may have gone too far!

You Are 86% Evil

You're the most evil person you know. The devil is even a little scared of you!

How Evil Are You?

Went to see the Mighty Boosh last night - really enjoyable (and removed me from my woes for 3 hrs!). I now have an even bigger crush on the lovely Howard TJ Moon (AKA Julian Barrett). Here, see, a picture of him sucking a lolly:

Julian: "Are you aware of the music known as jazz?"
Noel: "Jazz, what's that, 1984, Matt Bianco (sings badly) What is lo-o-o-ove anywa-a-a-y, does anybody love anybody anyway?"
Julian: "No, jazz. You fear jazz. You fear the lack of rules, the lack of boundaries. Oh look, it's a fence. But, no, it's soft."

and here's a picture for all you Noel fans:

I improved last night - worked out in the gym for ages, vented my anger then went to see the ladies and met Carla's mum and saw Jessie's wedding dress but then I went and spoilt it all by eating 1/2 a chocolate egg for breakfast and 3 chocolate bars and 2 bags of crisps for lunch today...arses.

The irony! What? It made me laugh. Ok, if I'm honest it made me laugh a hard, hollow, bitter laugh as I thought about the futility of life...god, I'm in a fucking bad mood. Yesterday I was happy and full of life and today I was late for work (30 mins late for work, WTF?) and I can't get anything finished (some things I can't even start), I'm eating too much and I feel like shit. When and how did I get so lazy and unmotivated?

What is the music world coming to?

Simon Amstell and Miquita Oliver are leaving Popworld

Rapper Proof is shot dead

Jack White sells his soul for Coke

I now have a coldsore...I woke this morning to a tell tale tingle on my top lip. Cue manic searching for Blistex Relief Cream. Loaded a huge amount on there but I'm too late, the dreaded blisters have gain strength over the day and now I'm looking like a plague victim.

And, I'm still croaking.

Went a bit crazed on books again. The boyf has mentioned that there are too many books in our home and that he doesn't want to live in a library!

Currently reading Perfume, The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Süskind and The Poems of Rowan Williams. Both are amazing, I'm really enjoying them.

Sore throat and cough is still with me. I've taken to drinking purdeys , wearing a scarf, sucking halls max strength lozenges, wiping myself in Vicks VapoRub and swigging cough medicine at all times. The heating has also stopped working in our office so I'm regularly putting my coat on too. I look like a bum...

I also wrote up all my to do things in a new notepad in a hope that it would make me feel more motivated. It only made me motivated to go to the shop and buy chocolate and more cold and flu painkillers.

...and now Creep by Radiohead is playing on the radio. Joy.

Boyf will only let me go away for Easter if I'm better. If I don't go away, I will sulk in my room eating all the Easter Eggs by myself.

The weekend was fantastic fun, the boyf and I arrived in Oxford on Friday evening and had dinner out with Eddy and Julie where we all laughed too much and then we all got an earlish night. This didn't however stop my throat becoming razor blades and sneezing maniacally.

Saturday was spent having lovely breakfast and waiting for the latecomers (the first was meant to arrive between 11am - 12noon but didn't get there until 4pm). Once we'd got most people together, a gang of us went into Oxford betted on the grand national and ate lunch at the Buttery...afterwards we ended up in pub (surprise) and waited for everyone to join us. We popped back to Julies to get ready to go out. The went for an Indian up the road and the popped back to Julies for Big Al's cocktails and champagne. We went onto a club and caused havoc - beer fights, dancing like twats and trying to avoid fights with goths! Went back to Julies for an extension of naughtiness during which I was force fed vitamin C tablets by Jess, became an agony aunt for a while, drank too much and then went and passed out in bed.

Sunday was spent recovering, eating full English breakfasts and taking the piss out of each other for bad behaviour the previous night. Sent boyf to pick up my winnings from the Grand National - a whole £2.25!

We'd all recovered enough by around 8pm so we went to eat very slowly served Sushi.

Then we had to go back to London. Journey home was lovely - George our driver was lovely and me, the Boyf, Hels, Jess and Turtle put the world to rights and we were driven through a wonderful snow storm (which had, of course, turned to cold horrible rain by the time we got back to London).

Back home to our new matress (28 cm wide deep- very cosy indeed) and tried not to die during the night. Today I have bought meltus for chesty coughs, nurofen cold and flu and halls max strength lozenges - if that doesn't get rid of my illness I don't know what will...

This week has been full of fun outings.

Seth Lakeman played at Carling Islington Academy on Tuesday. It was a pretty good evening although the audience were pretty awful - odd mix of crazy folk women (you know the type - dancing off the beat, waving hand about their heads, shaking there long henna'd hair in your face), posh totty and loud drunks. Trying to ignore the people around us, I tried to concentrate on the music. Really enjoyable but felt a little 'too polished'...when you see folk music it's usually in the pub and is played by rough old men! To see a lovely looking young man playing so beautifully was odd however, I really enjoyed it (bought the new album there and have had it on constant play since!)




Graham Coxon played at the Hammersmith Apollo on Wednesday. What can I say apart from he was absolutely bloody marvelous. Wonderful songs ranging from manic energy ones to quiet completative ones. Boy can he play guitar. The happy, bouncy energy that you get after a good gig lasted me and boyf all the way home on the district line...




Then for something a little different: Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo at the Peacock Theatre yesterday with Hels and Richie (both of whom were in very silly moods, me? I'm never silly!). Fantastic show, men in frock exploring the comedy in trad, modern ballet. What makes it so great is that they can actually dance (and en pointe which is amazing to behold). I don't think that I've laughed as much before at Swan Lake Act 2 and the dying swan (white feathers everywhere!). They are performing the UK again in September and you must buy tickets.

This weekend I'm going to Oxford for Julie's b/day celebrations. There will be 11 plus guests all squeezed together - it's a bloody good job we all know each other!

I don't often remember my dreams, possibly due to the weird religious/horror dreams I had when I was younger. Recently, some have been sticking in my mind including one where I'm with Jess and we are going to see Richie in his attic room. We're blocked on top of the stairs by a small toy-sized tank that starts barking at us that we can't pass, we step around it and it starts to fire bullets at us...they feel like sharp stones on my legs as I pass. We fall into Richie's room and he's packing all his stuff to move away, he says that he's got everything except his boat. We look into the middle of the room and there's a pond. He dives in and swims out to the boat in the middle of the pond. He gets smaller and smaller and then starts to drag the boat back in to shore. As it comes to the edge, we realise that it's actually the size of a real boat and Richie is dragging it towards us. We start screaming and all goes black.

There was also the one where it turned out that my dad had fathered another child that he didn't know about and his mum was saying that we (my brother and I) couldn't ever see our little brother. I woke up so bloody angry at the mum (even though in actual fact she's a family friend and their is no way that her son is my dads!)

Shall I, as my boyf suggests, contact the priory now?

This weekend I have mainly done:

• A gym/swim visit that lastest 2hrs
• Ran away from a child in the pool who was spraying Hels and I with water
• Done 20 sit ups in a row (whoo-hoo *rambo music plays*)
• Failed to do any push ups (even in the girl stylie)
• Had a lovely grown up lunch with boyf and Helski
• Fucked about for a whole day with friends
• Showed a dead rat to teenage girls in the street
• Carla, Hels, Leo and I buried said rat in Tower Hamlets cemetery Park (not a pet rat you understand, a real life dirty bin rat...it had made it's home in the ladies house only to die the other night, Hels insisted that we give it a proper send off)
• Got locked in Tower Hamlets cemetery Park
• Had a massive Chinese/Thai dinner at the ladies
• Tidied up the flat with boyf on Sunday
• Tried to go out on Sunday to a club - didn't make it
• Baked a loaf of bread, ate loaf of bread

Woke up this morning quite happy and determined to get on with things. This week is busy at work and play...Seth Lakeman, Graham Coxon and Les Ballets Trockadero. Followed by a weekend in Oxford for lovely Julie's birthday. Hurrah!

Seven Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
1. Lose weight and get fit (the eternal goal)
2. To become less angry at the world (my inner gothy existentialist is alive and well and kicking bloody hard)
3. See the world (but only with the proviso of staying in 5* hotels with no backpackers of any sort anywhere in sight, daaaallinnn’)
4. Make my own jam and chutney (in a huge farmhouse kitchen with all my beautiful, chubby, grubby, little children hanging on my apron strings while my artist husband worships me slavishly – hurrah!)
5. See the Aurora Borealis with my family at my side while scattering some of my dad’s ashes because he never bloody got to see them before he died.
6. Write a play, direct a play and produce a play and see them all performed (to critical acclaim, of course!)
7. Take over the world….mmmmwwwhhhhaaaahhhhaaaa *strokes pussy* [insert you own jokes here]

Seven Things I Cannot Do:
1. Saying “no thank you, I’d like a diet coke” to offers of alcohol
2. Juggle (for this I am most happy)
3. Speak any foreign language (despite trying too, these things generally don’t stick in my head…apart from being able to ask for 2 cheese sandwiches in Dutch – I learnt that one when my brother and I ran like feral wolf children in Amsterdam one summer when we were 11 and 9 but that’s another story involving dope plant jungles, dirty old Arab men, our first glimpse of porno, canal boat robbing smack heads and a certain Mr Heiner Muller!)
4. Walk past a comic book shop without just ‘popping in’ and buying something
5. Be in the same room as a moth for any period of time (the horror, those dusty, flappy wings, I’m retching just thinking about them)
6. Avoid collecting anything shiny and/or glittery (magpie genes methinks). I have boxes full of ribbons, buttons, glitter and stars
7. Trust a Tory. I think that I actually have a physical repulsion to them. From Maggie stealing my milk (Maggie Thatcher, Milk Snatcher!) when I was just about to graduate to being head milk girl and my dad punching the TV when Maggie got voted in the early 80’s I have been moulded into a Tory hater. I get so upset when I find out that people have voted Tory that I have actually had to disown some acquaintances (I wouldn’t call them friends under any circumstances). Mind you don’t get me started on New Labour

Seven Things I Can Do:
1. Click my jaw and my fingers
2. Count to 31 on my hand when the thumb = 1, first finger = 2, middle finger = 4, ring finger = 8 and the little finger = 16. This is something my dad taught me and my brother to do one very boring day and it’s become a habit that I can’t stop doing when bored!
3. Knit badly
4. Sew reasonably well
5. Remember stupid pop facts that I read in Smash Hits when I was a little person.
6. Remember stupid indie facts that I read in NME or Melody Maker when I was a little older person
7. use random lines from Lee and Herring, Vic and Bob, Eddie Izzard, Bill Hicks or The Mighty Boosh routines to sum up any situation that I may find myself in (also well used to distract people from your naughty behaviour:

Boy/f *angry voice*: “why did you just do that?”

Boo *moon voice from Boosh*: “’cos I’m the moooon”

Boy/f *moon voice from Boosh*: “the full moon?”

Etc…

I allow you to admire my cunningness…)

Seven Things That Attract Me To….. Blogging:
1. I’ve always kept a diary and I’ve moved into the modern age, dudes
2. Visualised ranting (with pictures!)
3. I like the idea of clicking back and seeing how I was previously without raking through old storage boxes to find my diary from that period
4. I wanted to write a novel by the time I was 21 but I didn’t achieve that aim, so all of you must suffer my inane rants instead
5. eerrrh
6. errhh, ok, ok
7. My huge, glittery, rock star-like ego told me to do it.

Seven Things I Say Most Often:
1. ”Fuck off”
2. ”Fuck you”
3. ”No fucking way!”
4. ”You little shit”
5. ”To be fair…”
6. “Hello, [insert company name], how can I help you?”
7. ”No problem” (esp. when it clearly is a problem!)

Seven Books That I Love:
1. Lunar Park by Bret Easton Ellis
2. The Secret History by Donna Tartt
3. Anything by Philip Ridley - His kids books are fantastic, he truly is a Roald Dahl for the misunderstood generation. His grown up stuff is fantastic too (dirty reality mixed with beautiful, magical, fairy tales)
4. The Perfect Fool by Stewart Lee – a wonderful novel, laugh out loud funny and sob out loud sad.
5. Fuse: The Selected Work of Patrick Jones – despair, decay, the horrors of modern living and badly rhyming poetry – honestly, what more do you need from a book?
6. Self help – anything to try and make me into a better person because I know that I’m evil incarnate. I need these books to tell me that I eat too much, that I eat the ‘wrong’ foods, that I get too stressed, that I’m not creative enough, that my emotions are blocked, that the bullying I suffered as a child means that I can’t connect to people…Gillian McKeith, Julia Cameron et al you make my life not worth living.
7. Cook books with nice pictures, no Delia/Jamie/Nigella/etc I’m never going to get around to making that food but damned if you’re going to stop me buying your books and using them as torture implements/pornography (delete appropriate, according to mood and current diet limitations)

Seven Movies That I Watch Over and Over Again:
1. Rumblefish - slow moving, black and white except for the odd important colouring, beautiful, beautiful, please watch this film
2. Hairspray - Fat girl wins comp and fights racism alongside all the panache and joy of a John Walters film. Fantastic!
3. The Passion of Darkly Noon - Brendan Frazer all messed up, how yummy. Think of a really hot St Sebastian and you’re not even close!
4. Anything with Christopher Walken in - I mean anything – I’ve even watched the numerous rubbish films
5. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - reminds me of many a night out
6. Cry Baby - beautiful 1950’s Johnny Depp with a tattooed tear, quiff and leather jacket…what can I say, we all have our weaknesses
7. Anything by Hayao Miyazaki - wonderful, bewitching coming of age stories to be enjoyed by kids and adults alike…

Seven People I’ll Try Passing This On To:
I doubt that 7 people read my blog!

During a bit of an ego moment I did a search on my name and look what I found!

National Kilburn Ballroom, London, Friday 11th Dec 1992
From: Teenage Suicide fanzine by Boudicca Lee Maloney

The first thing that hit me on the way to the concert was how friendly most Manic Street Preacher fans are. Not having ever been to the National Ballroom before, my friend and I were completely lost so we asked a lad for directions. He began to jump up and down and said "Oh great, you like the Manics. I'm going I'll take you there. Which one do you fancy?? etc".

We got there just as the Disco Assassins got on stage. No-one was very impressed with them. Next up were The Mouth. They were a lot better than the DA's both musically and performance wise.

When the Manics eventually came onstage the whole place went completely mad (thankfully, I didn't go down the front this time. I was determined to see them, not the back of some sweaty tall lad)

The whole show was amazing. The hilight being Nicky's rendition of 'I wanna be loved by you'. I suppose I'd better mention Nicky's controversial comment about Michael Stipe. Well it did piss me off even though I agree with the reasoning behind it because AIDS shouldn't be used as a way of getting publicity (even when it is bad) I know people who have lost lovers and friends through AIDS and others who just sit there watching loved ones die 'cos they can't do anything to save them. However, I'm sure Stipe isn't that upset about it and who else does it really affect, apart from the music press that is. No one. No one cares what other people say anymore. There's no real enjoyment from speech. Songs, however are different, they're so much more eloquent than the spoken word. I think that's enough of being serious, I'll get straight back to the review.

All of the band looked wonderful (not that you could see Sean, he was that far back) Richey was very glamorous in silver trousers and a netted top. James was in the usual white jeans and tee-shirt. Nicky had his pink shirt on with pictures of Marilyn plastered onto it and his black plastic trousers on.

The end song, Motown Junk was wonderful with Richey, James and Nicky really throwing themselves around. It was definitely the best I've seen them at for a while and I can't wait for the next tour - if they haven't split up by then, ha! ha!

Boudicca's editorial: Hello! Being only 15 years old I'm expected to be either into Take That or crap indie bands, but I hate them all and love the Manic Street Preachers. Not are they the only band that has really said anything to me in my lifetime, but they're the only intelligent band around. It was such a relief when I found that other people under 40 read the Beat Generation, William S Burroughs and other great writers and poets alike. So, in an effort to reach people I took this opportunity to produce a Manics fanzine as part of my GCSE in Media Studies. Special thanks to Fiona who helped me a lot.

My Goth past is a postive thing, hurrah!