"Glastonbury: a cross between a medieval refugee camp and a recently detonated circus"
Charlie Brooker, The Guardian, Monday June 25, 2007

I survived but my tent didn't!

Friday
We turned up on site on Friday evening (the boy couldn't get out of work on Friday). We found the ratties at the Herbal High stall well scrumped already - threw our stuff into the tent behind the stall...donned wellies, started supping lager and waited for the rest of the gang to return from Arcade Fire. Once they returned, Will took Lornie behind the stall and proposes (they met at Glastonbury 3 years ago, it's very romantic) We are all reduced to tears and there are big hugs for them before the boy and I hot foot it over to Lost Vagueness with Jess for her all night shift in the Space Lounge. She is forgiven for being late as everyone is very excited for Lornie and Will. Say hello to people I haven't seen for ages. Meet my brother's mate Adrian who is dressed in bin liners and pilled up. My brother's other mate is too fucked to even say hello to. We stay up with the help of much vodka and lager. Bump into a few other people outside the tent, exchange hugs and good wishes for the weekend. Make the move back across the site at 6am with Jess, we are drunk, we consume some Irish coffees, steal maltesers and go to bed.

Saturday
Hungover to fuck, stayed in the tent until 4pm. Got up watched Babyshambles (shit, out of tune crappy wardling, Kate Moss = shit). Go to Pat's stall for a catch up, drink rose wine and get temporary tattooed. Back to the Other Stage for Maximo Park (amazing) and Editors (heartbreakingly beautiful). Go back to stall to pick up a gang for Iggy and the Stooges who are very funny - stage invaded by people and Iggy can't get them back off for ages. Bass player practically fucking his bass and gurning like a total monkey. People saying "this herbal high isn't doing anything for me" and then starting to freaky dance.

Play on the stall and dance like a fool! Go to bed at a sensible 2am, get woken up by Will shouting "my grammer's broken" and the almost endless shagging sounds in the tent near to us (you know who you are!).

Sunday
Catch up on last night shenanigans. Eat loads. See The Holloways (boring but ok), Coldwar Kids (rubbish), The Go! Team (rubbish but interesting to see), The View (boring but ok), went with the ladies to see Dame Shirley Bassey (brilliant!) wait around to meet other people for the Manics. No one turns up, I see the Manics by myself. Which was fantastic. Spend some time backstage, mainly just to have a sit down! Wellies have left a blister on the back of my leg - which is going yellow.

Star spotting - James Dean Bradfield, Donny Torette, Lip from Shameless, John Simm, Jo Whiley, Andrew Marr...

Monday
Woke up at 4am, tent had leaked in the endless rain, argued with boy as unable to pack sleeping bags back into the bags. Sorted ourselves out and got off the site with Jess and Turtle and a lift from Rocket. Dropped off at Westbury station, catch the commuter train back to London. Brandy in coffee and a croissant keeps me going. Get to Paddington and take the tube back home. Some people stare and other smile. At home pull off mud soaked clothes, shower, climb into a clean bed. Get up for food, kids telly and texts from the rats still stuck on site. Reduced to tears by children climbing volcanos, go back to bed. Sleep till the morning.

Tuesday
House smells like cow poo. Boy left at home to fill the washing machine. Go to work with the smile of a person who had fucking great weekend!

Grafitti

"I wish my lawn was emo, then it would cut itself"

I just snorted coffee out of my nose...

I have the best army poncho in the world and some wellies waiting for me onsite...

Weird or Normal?

I've been thinking about getting some of my dads ashes formed into a diamond to mount on a ring but then I read the price list. Bah!

Lost

Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony, please come around. Something is lost and needs to be found

Tweak

I just had to post this picture of Cillian Murphy - it just left me totally breathless...those eyes, those cheekbones, those lips...

Stop Dreaming; Start Choosing

Buckminster Fuller. Contemplated suicide at 32 - he was bankrupt, discredited, jobless and his first child had just died. He chose to carry on living, went on to invent the geodesic dome and become a writer, educator, philosoper and poet.

Please note:

I bleeding well adore archery!

DAY OFF YESTERDAY

I did the following:

Awoke at 7am
Back to sleep by 7.20am
Awoke at 10am
Back to sleep by 11am
Awoke at 4pm
Back to sleep by 4.10pm
Awoke at 5.20pm
Crazy, rushed shower and out to meet boyf at Liverpool Street at 6pm to travel to Archery lesson.
Archery lesson, followed by a quick drink
Back home and to sleep by 11pm
Awoke today at 9am

That's almost 19hours sleep...and I'm still damn tired.

From the last few weeks

Two nights in a row seeing the Manic Street Preachers - felt 15 again but with slightly less despair.

I'm going to Glastonbury with my boyf and the ladies are all working. Hurrah!

EBay mania - new summer frocks, Edwardian umbrellas for Glastonbury, Cd's (Shiny Toy Guns), stainless steel and crystal rings, fake ear plugs body jewellery, polka dot high heels, etc.

Visiting the Turtle's afloat in Brentford.

Boyf revealing that he'd quite like to live on a boat or in a camper van for a while. This is after he poo-pooed the idea late last year when I said we could afford a whole boat with my inheritance but only part of a house!

Falling in lust with Gok Wan - every girl should have one telling her how wonderful she is!

Saying no to a job which cements that we're absolutely moving out of London at the end of the year. No idea where/what/when...oooh it's fun...

This one sent shivers down my spine last night:

Five Questions, Five Answers

Prior to his wonderful visit to New York, Mr Atrocity extended an invitation to offer ourselves up for five questions of his choosing. These are my well reasoned and immaculately thought out responses to his chosen integrations. If you’d like to join in, rules are below.

1 - What is the single best piece of non-fiction you've read?
Difficult one…I’ve read so much that has had a great effect on me…

I suppose that ‘Big Sky Mind: Buddhism and the Beat Generation’ would be a highlight. I read it when I was 19. I’d been really into the beat writers for such a long time and it was fantastic to have all the thoughts, writings and letters about such a spiritual subject all together. Mind you, William S Burroughs’ contempt at it all was the best bit!

I must mention George Orwell’s ‘Homage to Catalonia’, Tony Benn’s diaries, Marx/Engels Communist Manifesto, James St James’ ‘Disco Bloodbath: A Fabulous But True Tale of Murder in Clubland’ and all of Christopher Penczak’s magic books.

2 - Tell me about a favourite smell or scent.

The smell of fires and fireworks mixed with cinder toffee and aniseed. Bonfire night!

Plus I have a wide range of perfumes and scents for daily use. My favourites are Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab’s Malice for particularly dominant moments, Ralph Lauren’s Romance for girly moments and all my Egyptian oils (Nefertiti, Musk, Pharaoh, etc) for any time or place.

3 - Eggs: fried, poached, scrambled, soft-boiled or omlette? Why?

Gosh, depends on the mood. I do like eating eggs made in anyway/shape/form when feeling the need for a comforting nursery tea.

Fried in thick white bread, lots of butter and brown sauce. Cut in squares not in poncey triangles (I remember thinking my boyf was really posh when I saw him do that for the first time. My first thought was “this will never work” but I’m over it now…just)

Poached on wholemeal toast with brown sauce and plenty of salt and pepper. Always two slices with an egg on each.

Scrambled – the eggs must be broken into a jug first and a little bit of milk and salt and pepper added. Whisk and then add to a warm pan with a small piece of butter. The milk stops the eggs from burning and sticking to the pan.

Soft-boiled. Actually just rekindled my love for soft boiled eggs due to receiving a Peter Rabbit egg cup.

Omelette – I can’t really get my head around making omelettes but I do like a mushroom omelette with chips from a caff.

4 - Who would you have paint or photograph your portrait? Living or dead artists are fine; we have a time-travel device.

Cecil Beaton. I especially adore his pictures of Nancy Cunard and Miss Nancy Beaton as a Shooting Star. I can only dream of being so beautifully photographed.


5 - When is your favourite time of the year?

Autumn - I love looking out of a window or taking a walk and watching leaves turn from luscious green to wonderful russet and auburn. Long autumn evenings when the sky goes dark pink, warm but with a chill in the air. Lovely.

For anyone who wishes to be asked questions by me, here are the rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” And please, feel free to comment on my fabulousness, or whatever.
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Your Score: Katharine Hepburn

You scored 9% grit, 42% wit, 38% flair, and 16% class!

You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women.

Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the
Classic Leading Man Test.

Link: The Classic Dames Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

There's a black dog on my shoulder.

Normal service will resume once I've battled it and reduced it to a cute, emo puppy.

Children Write To God

Very funny indeed, have a read through them all. The best ones are on later pages.

Sacred

I went to see Ron Athey & Dominic Johnson: Incorruptible Flesh (Perpetual Wound) last night. Chelsea Theatre was a time consuming travel away from work (3 tubes and 1 bus) but the performance was more than worth that time: shamanistic, ritual, death, rebirth, relationships, sex, violence, blood, cleansing, death valley, water. Blood dripped onto the stage and took my breath away. Rather than being scared I'm happy, exhilarated and excited. Mismatched, beautiful tattooed bodies filling me with light and reconfirming my belief in life. The dark side can shine as brightly as the light.

"I am a jelly doughnut"

Due to family having to reschedule flights I am now having a long weekend in Berlin in October - huzzah!

Odd dreams

Last night I dreamt that I was getting matching tattoos with my boyf. He was getting it on his upper arm and I was getting it on the back of my neck (please excuse rubbish drawing!):

On waking this morning I realised that it was quite similar to the adidas logo:

Astrochart mememe

Name: Boudicca Lee Maloney March 3 1977 3:30 PM Time Zone is UT London, UK

Rising Sign is in 20 Degrees Leo You love to be the center of attention and you want to appear strong, confident and dominant. You are very proud of yourself, sometimes quite vain even. When all around you are bedraggled and falling apart, you look like a million bucks! Very dignified and honorable, you enjoy the power and privilege, but not the responsibilities, that come with leadership. You are very idealistic but can also be quite stubborn. Others impress you only if they have integrity (but wealth, power and influence can also turn your head). You prefer rich, elegant surroundings and possessions, and will try to acquire them as your budget allows. Physically, you are very impressive - - at your best you have a regal, charismatic demeanor and bearing. Try not to be such a showoff!

Sun is in 12 Degrees Pisces. Extremely sensitive and emotional, you absorb the emotions of others (whether positive or negative) like a sponge. Emotionally vulnerable, you are easily upset and tend to cry readily. You are at your best when you can structure your environment in such a way that you are surrounded by positive, upbeat people. You are very helpful and understanding of the needs of others. Indeed, at times this can be a disadvantage, because you can be a sucker for anyone who needs help. Shy, dreamy, romantic in nature, you delight in retreating into your private fantasy world. Just be careful that you do not get lost in it! Trust your intuitions -- you may be quite psychic.

Moon is in 16 Degrees Leo. You always want to be proud of yourself and will never do anything that will make yourself look bad. You need the respect and admiration of others and enjoy attracting attention to yourself. Everything you do tends to be self-emphasized and self-exaggerated. Very stubborn, willful and independent yourself, be sure to allow others who are close to you the similar right to "be themselves." Your need for love, affection and reassurance, and your tendency toward vanity, allow you to have your head easily turned by flattery. The more insecure you are, the more you tend to be a showoff. You love games and sports as a matter of fact, you would usually rather play than work. Be careful of a tendency to be snobbish and uppity -- it does not become you.

Mercury is in 02 Degrees Pisces. Your ideas and thought processes do not come to you in an orderly, logical fashion. Instead, you think with your feelings or with images produced by your rich and fertile imagination. A very subjective person, your dreams and fantasies are very important to you. You trust your intuitions and tend to reject ideas that are based solely on logic. Very impressionable, you are sensitive to the moods and emotional states of those with whom you come into contact.

Venus is in 21 Degrees Aries. You are a very affectionate person but you hate to be tied down. You are more than willing to be the aggressor in initiating new relationships. Indeed, once you have set your sights on someone, you tend to pursue him or her ardently and passionately. But you do demand your own way in a relationship. Try to give in to your partner's needs and desires once in a while.

Mars is in 17 Degrees Aquarius. Your ideas and opinions are usually inventive and original, but sometimes they are merely eccentric and offbeat. You are altruistic -- you will work hard for the attainment of group goals, as long as they meet your high standards. You tend to resent traditional authority figures because you think that your ideas are better thought out and more valuable than theirs. Very idealistic, you are a rebel WITH a cause!

Jupiter is in 24 Degrees Taurus. Growth only occurs for you after you have found a stable lifestyle and a dependable, protective and secure environment. You are at your best when those around you provide you with a great deal of affection and support. When you feel insecure or threatened, you tend to become possessive and grasping and self- indulgent. You are an inveterate collector with an expensive preference for all the good things that life has to offer.

Saturn is in 11 Degrees Leo. Extremely self-reliant, you set very high standards of conduct and decorum for yourself, and you expect others with whom you associate to be that way, too. It is important that you had a strong father figure or role model early in life to mold your life course and direction. When you feel that those around you are unworthy or behaving badly, you withdraw, preferring solitude rather than associating with those who might besmirch your reputation.

Uranus is in 11 Degrees Scorpio. You, and your peer group, demand to confront life at its deepest and most meaningful levels. Very compulsive and obsessive in your approach to everything, you will avoid anything that is casual or superficial, especially when it comes to relationships. You will seek out and explore new methods of healing as well as different ways to deal with deep-seated emotional problems.

Neptune is in 16 Degrees Sagittarius. You, and your entire generation, are heavily involved in investigating and idealizing foreign and exotic intellectual systems and religious philosophies. The most extreme ideals will be pursued with gusto. You will be at the forefront of humanitarian attempts to improve the lot of those who are in need of assistance. You will be comfortable with the concept of the "global village."

Pluto is in 13 Degrees Libra. For your entire generation, this is a time of radical changes in society's attitude toward marriage and interpersonal relationships. There is a general fear and awe at the power inherent in making emotional or contractual commitments -- they will not be entered into lightly.

N. Node is in 25 Degrees Libra. You find it very difficult to be comfortable being alone -- you would much prefer to be in an environment where many people are working together toward common goals. Your charming and sincere approach to others assures your popularity -- you have the gift of being able to ease tensions just by your mere presence. You're the perfect "team player" willing to sacrifice your own importance so that the group goal can be accomplished. Be careful, however, not to become overly dependent on your interactions with others -- you have personal private needs that should not be neglected.

Proved Correct (at last!)

Ages ago during a day off ill I had the (mis)fortune of seeing Big Cook, Little Cook. I knew the guys from somewhere, I thought from a comedy club. I suggested this to a number of people who all stated that I was insane and that there was no way that children's tv actors would also be rude comedians...I have been proved correct - see here. Hurrah!