Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Stars for today from Rick Levine
Although it might seem like others at work are just starting a project anew, you have already begun yours. It's time for you to take your efforts to the next level by bringing additional stability into your life. This may require a new and different way of allocating your time. Instead of focusing on an inspirational or creative process, increase productivity by prioritizing your tasks and then doing them methodically, one after another.
Never before have the stars been so clear to me and what I have to do!
Although it might seem like others at work are just starting a project anew, you have already begun yours. It's time for you to take your efforts to the next level by bringing additional stability into your life. This may require a new and different way of allocating your time. Instead of focusing on an inspirational or creative process, increase productivity by prioritizing your tasks and then doing them methodically, one after another.
Never before have the stars been so clear to me and what I have to do!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Dawlish 14/03/09
The lap, lap, lap of the sea
A cocoon holding me
Nature, heartbeat.
Pull of the moon.
Salty seaweed,
Oxygen taste on my tongue
and in my nose.
Clearing, cleansing
Through my veins.
A burst of happiness.
My revery shot through by
the caw, caw, caw of seagulls.
Ice cream, ice flakes upon my tongue
Clotted cream I seek out the crust
and break through savory to the sweet
milky, thick and delectable.
Black swans glide past.
The lap, lap, lap of the sea
A cocoon holding me
Nature, heartbeat.
Pull of the moon.
Salty seaweed,
Oxygen taste on my tongue
and in my nose.
Clearing, cleansing
Through my veins.
A burst of happiness.
My revery shot through by
the caw, caw, caw of seagulls.
Ice cream, ice flakes upon my tongue
Clotted cream I seek out the crust
and break through savory to the sweet
milky, thick and delectable.
Black swans glide past.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Thinking about Mother's Day
Trying to keep busy and keep my mind off that word...mum. A whole hole you've left. Tears are often pricking at my lids. My anger at the universe in unrivaled. Those questions all begin with why... I was already so heartbroken by Lee dying that I almost haven't felt your death quite as deeply - I feel ashamed almost. Did I not love you as dearly as I loved him? This seems unlikely. I have strong feelings, throat constricting, breathing difficult. Grief is so difficult because it fills every part of your life. A memory at every step. A recall. Sometimes happy following soon by sorrow. I can't cope with the up and down so I don't dare to think of what I'm putting my lover, my friends and my remaining family through. I'm the matriarch of my family but I'm not a mother. My womb's emptiness seems like an insult. The universe's last laugh. Mum is in every shop window, in every magazine. 'Why don't you treat your mother to this, to that'. There are people who are mother figures but why should I put that much pressure on another person. I have so much need inside that it would drown another. Even Jan couldn't cope with my needs at times; so much they are. I have the freedom too - there are good sides to being parentless. The first time I visited my granddad in the home - I wouldn't have been able to watch my parents there decaying over years. I'm glad I don't have to. The hospices were relatively quick. 6 months after we heard the word cancer. 6 months to die but more just wasting away. We thought it was the grief from loosing Lee. I'm only sorry I didn't listen sooner; too wrapped up in my own grief.
Trying to keep busy and keep my mind off that word...mum. A whole hole you've left. Tears are often pricking at my lids. My anger at the universe in unrivaled. Those questions all begin with why... I was already so heartbroken by Lee dying that I almost haven't felt your death quite as deeply - I feel ashamed almost. Did I not love you as dearly as I loved him? This seems unlikely. I have strong feelings, throat constricting, breathing difficult. Grief is so difficult because it fills every part of your life. A memory at every step. A recall. Sometimes happy following soon by sorrow. I can't cope with the up and down so I don't dare to think of what I'm putting my lover, my friends and my remaining family through. I'm the matriarch of my family but I'm not a mother. My womb's emptiness seems like an insult. The universe's last laugh. Mum is in every shop window, in every magazine. 'Why don't you treat your mother to this, to that'. There are people who are mother figures but why should I put that much pressure on another person. I have so much need inside that it would drown another. Even Jan couldn't cope with my needs at times; so much they are. I have the freedom too - there are good sides to being parentless. The first time I visited my granddad in the home - I wouldn't have been able to watch my parents there decaying over years. I'm glad I don't have to. The hospices were relatively quick. 6 months after we heard the word cancer. 6 months to die but more just wasting away. We thought it was the grief from loosing Lee. I'm only sorry I didn't listen sooner; too wrapped up in my own grief.
Labels:
confusion,
family,
the darkness is all around
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Arts Council England
Arts Council England today announced details of a proposed organisation-wide restructure. More info here. I have to say my immediate response in dismay.
Arts Council England today announced details of a proposed organisation-wide restructure. More info here. I have to say my immediate response in dismay.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Happy Chinese New Year!
Snake 1977
Snake 1977
2009 is a super-lucky for snakes! Act on opportunities & seize the moment! You have great luck in love & career this year — the chances of getting married or a huge promotion are excellent. You will meet influential people who will inspire & help you make more money as well as increasing your prestige. You should still be careful, though — you may want to save some money this year to help cover unexpected expenses or losses.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Scumbag Magnet
Taken from NME: "Blur's Graham Coxon, who plays guitar on Pete Doherty's forthcoming solo album, has spoken about why he chose to hook up with the Babyshambles man and how he got frustrated with him. The guitarist said that the promise he heard in the initial demos for the album convinced him to sign up. He also spoke about Doherty's personal life, calling him a "scumbag magnet"."
Taken from NME: "Blur's Graham Coxon, who plays guitar on Pete Doherty's forthcoming solo album, has spoken about why he chose to hook up with the Babyshambles man and how he got frustrated with him. The guitarist said that the promise he heard in the initial demos for the album convinced him to sign up. He also spoke about Doherty's personal life, calling him a "scumbag magnet"."
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
2008 in One Easy Quiz
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before? Bought a house, super grown up.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?I did – lost 3 stone and went to the gym regularly. 2009 – when one door closes another door opens. Love, adventure and happy families.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes and I haven’t got a cuddle off him yet.
4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes, the two most important women in my life.
5. What countries did you visit? Egypt
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Confidence
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 7th July, the day that Jan flew away from us.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Starting a settled, happy life in Exeter
9. What was your biggest failure? Being too within myself and not telling anyone what was going on in my head.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Yes, ongoing. 2009 is the year to sort it out; I have an appointment booked in June and hopefully then an operation.
11. What was the best thing you bought? Our house!
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? My brother for being so damn grown up this year.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? My own…
14. Where did most of your money go? House, books, perfume.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The Manics are working on a new album using some of Richey’s lyrics. I almost couldn’t breathe when the email popping into my inbox. They release the record next April or May. The working titles are “Journal for Plague Lovers” or “I Know I Believe In Nothing But It Is My Nothing”.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008? Wade in the Water by The Staple Singers
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Having fun.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Being miserable.
20. How will you be spending Christmas? Done and dusted; a quiet one with my fiancé and my brother.
22. Did you fall in love in 2008? I’m always falling in love with new people for a fleeting moment or two. Singers, band members, novelists, poets, emo boys in HMV! Those people in relationships that say they don’t fancy other people are out and out liars. Love and lust are what make the world turn around.
23. How many one-night stands? None unless you count those evenings in alone with a book, CD or DVD.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Hate, no. Dislike, yes. Unsure of where I stand so super wary, yes.
26. What was the best book you read? The Dud Avocado by Elaine Dundy… found in the hotel in Egypt. Fantastic.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Gosh, I think everything I bought in 2008 was from people I already knew.
28. What did you want and get? An engagement ring.
29. What did you want and not get? The elusive child, when it finally arrives and stays it can never say it wasn’t wanted.
30. What were your favourite films of this year? Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. I saw it 3 times and bought the soundtrack too.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I went to the local veggie restaurant and then to a club and misbehaved. I was 31.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More holidays; I really must try harder to have holiday once or twice a year rather than every two years.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Sack-like comfort, 2009 will see an overhaul of that.
34. What kept you sane? My boyf but only just.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Johnny Deep as Sweeney Todd.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? Nothing, nothing, nothing.
37. Who did you miss? My mum with all my heart.
38. Who was the best new person you met? A lot of lovely new people but no one has risen to the top just yet.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. To live life to the full as we really do only have a short time.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: “There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, / And the vermin of the world inhabit it, / And its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit, / And it goes by the name of London. At the top of the hole sit a privileged few / Making mock of the vermin of the lower zoo. Turning beauty into filth and greed.” Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before? Bought a house, super grown up.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?I did – lost 3 stone and went to the gym regularly. 2009 – when one door closes another door opens. Love, adventure and happy families.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes and I haven’t got a cuddle off him yet.
4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes, the two most important women in my life.
5. What countries did you visit? Egypt
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Confidence
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 7th July, the day that Jan flew away from us.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Starting a settled, happy life in Exeter
9. What was your biggest failure? Being too within myself and not telling anyone what was going on in my head.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Yes, ongoing. 2009 is the year to sort it out; I have an appointment booked in June and hopefully then an operation.
11. What was the best thing you bought? Our house!
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? My brother for being so damn grown up this year.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? My own…
14. Where did most of your money go? House, books, perfume.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The Manics are working on a new album using some of Richey’s lyrics. I almost couldn’t breathe when the email popping into my inbox. They release the record next April or May. The working titles are “Journal for Plague Lovers” or “I Know I Believe In Nothing But It Is My Nothing”.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008? Wade in the Water by The Staple Singers
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Having fun.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Being miserable.
20. How will you be spending Christmas? Done and dusted; a quiet one with my fiancé and my brother.
22. Did you fall in love in 2008? I’m always falling in love with new people for a fleeting moment or two. Singers, band members, novelists, poets, emo boys in HMV! Those people in relationships that say they don’t fancy other people are out and out liars. Love and lust are what make the world turn around.
23. How many one-night stands? None unless you count those evenings in alone with a book, CD or DVD.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Hate, no. Dislike, yes. Unsure of where I stand so super wary, yes.
26. What was the best book you read? The Dud Avocado by Elaine Dundy… found in the hotel in Egypt. Fantastic.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Gosh, I think everything I bought in 2008 was from people I already knew.
28. What did you want and get? An engagement ring.
29. What did you want and not get? The elusive child, when it finally arrives and stays it can never say it wasn’t wanted.
30. What were your favourite films of this year? Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. I saw it 3 times and bought the soundtrack too.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I went to the local veggie restaurant and then to a club and misbehaved. I was 31.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More holidays; I really must try harder to have holiday once or twice a year rather than every two years.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Sack-like comfort, 2009 will see an overhaul of that.
34. What kept you sane? My boyf but only just.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Johnny Deep as Sweeney Todd.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? Nothing, nothing, nothing.
37. Who did you miss? My mum with all my heart.
38. Who was the best new person you met? A lot of lovely new people but no one has risen to the top just yet.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. To live life to the full as we really do only have a short time.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: “There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, / And the vermin of the world inhabit it, / And its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit, / And it goes by the name of London. At the top of the hole sit a privileged few / Making mock of the vermin of the lower zoo. Turning beauty into filth and greed.” Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet
Friday, December 05, 2008
Ten Things About Me
1. I whistle and click my fingers really badly. Both things took me years to learn - years of dedication. My brother could do them both from a really young age. This is the source of all our sibling rivalry.
2. Because my hair is crazy curly, I can only brush it in the shower when it's wet.
3. I eat hot pepper sauce with almost every meal (not breakfast though, that would be too weird). This started because I suffered from bulimia and throwing up hot pepper sauce is horrible. The sauce helped me get out of the habit.
4. I need to be busy - a bored Boo is a dangerous Boo.
5. I bite my nails. I've tried everything to stop but nothing works for more than a few weeks.
7. When people meet me for the first time they tend to think that I'm rude. I'm not, I'm shy.
8. The thing I miss most about living with my ladies is the toothbrush-offs in the bathroom and hall before bed.
9. I hate moths.
10. I keep Smash Hits style pop facts in my head.
1. I whistle and click my fingers really badly. Both things took me years to learn - years of dedication. My brother could do them both from a really young age. This is the source of all our sibling rivalry.
2. Because my hair is crazy curly, I can only brush it in the shower when it's wet.
3. I eat hot pepper sauce with almost every meal (not breakfast though, that would be too weird). This started because I suffered from bulimia and throwing up hot pepper sauce is horrible. The sauce helped me get out of the habit.
4. I need to be busy - a bored Boo is a dangerous Boo.
5. I bite my nails. I've tried everything to stop but nothing works for more than a few weeks.
7. When people meet me for the first time they tend to think that I'm rude. I'm not, I'm shy.
8. The thing I miss most about living with my ladies is the toothbrush-offs in the bathroom and hall before bed.
9. I hate moths.
10. I keep Smash Hits style pop facts in my head.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Life: not quite as exciting as telly
This article made me chuckle - the actor Dennis Hooper said the reason that he never went completely insane was that he believed that he always had a camera on him and he was just playing a part.
This article made me chuckle - the actor Dennis Hooper said the reason that he never went completely insane was that he believed that he always had a camera on him and he was just playing a part.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Ideas Summit
I went to an ISAN meeting last week in Liverpool. I used to work for the company and the meeting was inspiring because there were a number of projects that I was involved with in development moving forward at a fantastic rate.
I was also able to take part in the Ideas Summit as an attendee rather than a member of staff. The Ideas Summit allows artists and companies to present ideas to producers and promoters. The ideas can be literally at the embryonic stage through to a ready to book show. There were passionate, exciting ideas and I only wish I was in the position to book them there and then.
Certainly got me thinking about the projects that I'd like to be involved with. Joe and I moved down to Exeter with the idea that we'd have time and space to put on our own events but as yet haven't had the motivation. I wrote a list of projects down when I returned and requested a meeting with a lady who may be able to help.
I went to an ISAN meeting last week in Liverpool. I used to work for the company and the meeting was inspiring because there were a number of projects that I was involved with in development moving forward at a fantastic rate.
I was also able to take part in the Ideas Summit as an attendee rather than a member of staff. The Ideas Summit allows artists and companies to present ideas to producers and promoters. The ideas can be literally at the embryonic stage through to a ready to book show. There were passionate, exciting ideas and I only wish I was in the position to book them there and then.
Certainly got me thinking about the projects that I'd like to be involved with. Joe and I moved down to Exeter with the idea that we'd have time and space to put on our own events but as yet haven't had the motivation. I wrote a list of projects down when I returned and requested a meeting with a lady who may be able to help.
Billy Bragg
We saw Billy Bragg last night supported by Otis Gibbs - both really enjoyable. I've seen Billy quite a bit and have been bored to tears by his political rants between songs. I've realised that this was at festivals when all you want to do is get on with the hits and then go and get more booze. I actually quite enjoyed them last night and they made me feel that my halfhearted recycling and ecover use just isn't enough.
We saw Billy Bragg last night supported by Otis Gibbs - both really enjoyable. I've seen Billy quite a bit and have been bored to tears by his political rants between songs. I've realised that this was at festivals when all you want to do is get on with the hits and then go and get more booze. I actually quite enjoyed them last night and they made me feel that my halfhearted recycling and ecover use just isn't enough.
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