Wednesday, December 31, 2008
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before? Bought a house, super grown up.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?I did – lost 3 stone and went to the gym regularly. 2009 – when one door closes another door opens. Love, adventure and happy families.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes and I haven’t got a cuddle off him yet.
4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes, the two most important women in my life.
5. What countries did you visit? Egypt
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Confidence
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 7th July, the day that Jan flew away from us.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Starting a settled, happy life in Exeter
9. What was your biggest failure? Being too within myself and not telling anyone what was going on in my head.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Yes, ongoing. 2009 is the year to sort it out; I have an appointment booked in June and hopefully then an operation.
11. What was the best thing you bought? Our house!
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? My brother for being so damn grown up this year.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? My own…
14. Where did most of your money go? House, books, perfume.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The Manics are working on a new album using some of Richey’s lyrics. I almost couldn’t breathe when the email popping into my inbox. They release the record next April or May. The working titles are “Journal for Plague Lovers” or “I Know I Believe In Nothing But It Is My Nothing”.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008? Wade in the Water by The Staple Singers
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Having fun.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Being miserable.
20. How will you be spending Christmas? Done and dusted; a quiet one with my fiancé and my brother.
22. Did you fall in love in 2008? I’m always falling in love with new people for a fleeting moment or two. Singers, band members, novelists, poets, emo boys in HMV! Those people in relationships that say they don’t fancy other people are out and out liars. Love and lust are what make the world turn around.
23. How many one-night stands? None unless you count those evenings in alone with a book, CD or DVD.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Hate, no. Dislike, yes. Unsure of where I stand so super wary, yes.
26. What was the best book you read? The Dud Avocado by Elaine Dundy… found in the hotel in Egypt. Fantastic.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Gosh, I think everything I bought in 2008 was from people I already knew.
28. What did you want and get? An engagement ring.
29. What did you want and not get? The elusive child, when it finally arrives and stays it can never say it wasn’t wanted.
30. What were your favourite films of this year? Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. I saw it 3 times and bought the soundtrack too.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I went to the local veggie restaurant and then to a club and misbehaved. I was 31.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More holidays; I really must try harder to have holiday once or twice a year rather than every two years.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Sack-like comfort, 2009 will see an overhaul of that.
34. What kept you sane? My boyf but only just.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Johnny Deep as Sweeney Todd.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? Nothing, nothing, nothing.
37. Who did you miss? My mum with all my heart.
38. Who was the best new person you met? A lot of lovely new people but no one has risen to the top just yet.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. To live life to the full as we really do only have a short time.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: “There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, / And the vermin of the world inhabit it, / And its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit, / And it goes by the name of London. At the top of the hole sit a privileged few / Making mock of the vermin of the lower zoo. Turning beauty into filth and greed.” Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet
Friday, December 05, 2008
1. I whistle and click my fingers really badly. Both things took me years to learn - years of dedication. My brother could do them both from a really young age. This is the source of all our sibling rivalry.
2. Because my hair is crazy curly, I can only brush it in the shower when it's wet.
3. I eat hot pepper sauce with almost every meal (not breakfast though, that would be too weird). This started because I suffered from bulimia and throwing up hot pepper sauce is horrible. The sauce helped me get out of the habit.
4. I need to be busy - a bored Boo is a dangerous Boo.
5. I bite my nails. I've tried everything to stop but nothing works for more than a few weeks.
7. When people meet me for the first time they tend to think that I'm rude. I'm not, I'm shy.
8. The thing I miss most about living with my ladies is the toothbrush-offs in the bathroom and hall before bed.
9. I hate moths.
10. I keep Smash Hits style pop facts in my head.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
This article made me chuckle - the actor Dennis Hooper said the reason that he never went completely insane was that he believed that he always had a camera on him and he was just playing a part.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I went to an ISAN meeting last week in Liverpool. I used to work for the company and the meeting was inspiring because there were a number of projects that I was involved with in development moving forward at a fantastic rate.
I was also able to take part in the Ideas Summit as an attendee rather than a member of staff. The Ideas Summit allows artists and companies to present ideas to producers and promoters. The ideas can be literally at the embryonic stage through to a ready to book show. There were passionate, exciting ideas and I only wish I was in the position to book them there and then.
Certainly got me thinking about the projects that I'd like to be involved with. Joe and I moved down to Exeter with the idea that we'd have time and space to put on our own events but as yet haven't had the motivation. I wrote a list of projects down when I returned and requested a meeting with a lady who may be able to help.
We saw Billy Bragg last night supported by Otis Gibbs - both really enjoyable. I've seen Billy quite a bit and have been bored to tears by his political rants between songs. I've realised that this was at festivals when all you want to do is get on with the hits and then go and get more booze. I actually quite enjoyed them last night and they made me feel that my halfhearted recycling and ecover use just isn't enough.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Everyone was late for fireworks but we caught the end of the local schools display. We then returned to a warm home and stripped off the layers of wet clothes. We served warmed spiced cider. Nibbles, bought by KJ and John, were salt and pepper crisps with dips and crusty bread with pâté. We then had baked potatoes with smoked paprika baked beans, cheese and salad. A few hours of conversation, music and wine followed. Later, we served homemade rustic french bread with camembert, blue brie, mature cheddar, wholegrain mustard, caramelised red onion chutney and fruit chutney. The evening was finished with brandy hot chocolates before we waved our guests away into the cold night.
I've rather missed wining and dining with friends.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
I've rather enjoyed this bit of t.v. fluff. I've never had a Darcy 'thing' before but I do now.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Please copy mine below, erase my answers putting yours in their place then post it in your blog if you get a chance...
1. First name:
Boudicca (it really is before you ask, my parents gave me that name).
2. Age:
31, I used to be worried about hitting my 30s but it's been ok.
3. Location:
Exeter, UK. I've only been here for 10 months but it feels like home. We'll be here for a while.
4. Hometown:
Well, I was born in London. Spent my childhood in Hebden Bridge. My teenage years in Newcastle upon Tyne. Then back to London for 10 years. They are all my hometowns.
5. Occupation:
An agent for outdoor and variety artists and a freelance arts project manager. I care deeply about the arts and I'm lucky (or driven!) enough to have worked in this sector for all my working life. Someone reminded me a while ago that when I was 14 I said to them "all I want to do is own my own venue". Still my dream.
6. Partner:
Joe, we've been together for 5 years and are getting married next year.
7. Kids:
No, not yet. There's a few complications that need to be sorted first unfortunately.
8. Brothers/Sisters:
One brother, Dash, two years younger. Love him to bits. I'm a very bossy big sister but he puts up with it.
9. Pets:
None, but I have a picture of a jack russell on my desk which keeps me happy.
10. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:
1. I've bought my first house so I'm nesting.
2. Developing exciting things at work.
3. Planning the perfect festival in my head.
4. Adjusting to my new status as an orphan...which leads me onto...
11. Parents:
Lee died in Dec 05 and Jan died in July 08. There are no words for the emptiness they've left behind. I'm very lucky to have been bought into the world by them and I'm only sorry they had to fly with the birds so early.
12. Who are some of your closest friends?:
I have lots of friends but very few people know me really and truly and they know who they are!
13. Do you drink/smoke?:
I used to do both and to excess. Smoking I stopped years ago by still cracked under stress. Drinking...gah, I've been drinking heavily since my teens and binge like no-one else I know. I'm trying to get it under control though and recently have only drunk 5 pints of ale (in one naughty night) and 1/2 bottle of wine since 9th August. I do miss it but I'm not allowed until I can learn just to have a merry couple rather than a shouty allnighter!
14. Tattoos/Piercings:
Piercings:
4 time in left ear
2 and 1 top in right ear
Left nose
Tattoos:
One rose on top of left arm - MSP debut album cover with the song title 'Stay Beautiful' instead of Generation Terrorist. It was a present from Jenni and Dan for my 17th birthday. I was "all broken up at 17" just like the song said.
Just below I have a dolphin which I got for my 18th birthday. He looks a bit like a weird bird but I love him.
Right arm I have a flaming sun. I got this in New York and was a gift to myself for finishing my degree. My friend Darian was with me getting his stars done at the same time.
I have plans for memorial ones for Lee and Jan to go onto my feet. Just got to find me a tattooist in Exeter.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Day Three
Horrible headache in the morning
Very thirsty indeed
Day Four
Difficult day
Bored and wanting real food
Day Five
Ate a 3 chips and a small amount of batter...stolen from boyf plate
Day Six
Toffee milkshake for lunch when boyf is eating pasty - really bored.
Outing to the theatre - I have a pint of soda water and gaze at people's wine glasses.
Day Seven
Change from fast track (550 cals a day) to regular (88o cals a day) where I can eat a meal a day on top of the 4 packs. The meal is made up from a very limited list of allowed foods. I have watercress, spinach, radishes, celery and 3oz of cottage cheese. It's the most divine meal I have ever had...
Day Eight
Woke up super thirsty.
Wild berry milkshake for breakfast - actually quite yummy!
Thai soup for lunch - yummy again.
Horrified to discover in the online forum that the odd mint that I've been having may have had a great effect on my weight loss...mints???
My stomach is getting used to being hungry...not feeling so sick and grumbly anymore.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Monday, September 08, 2008
I attempted hot water in the morning but could only manage a few sips.
8am - breakfast was a weird berry milkshake and real coffee with a splash of milk.
I've been drinking decaff instant black coffee so far which is lovely, I used to drink it like this and I love the bitter taste in my mouth.
First craving for real food around 10am this morning but using my stopwatch helped (a craving only lasts between 8-12 mins; once you're over that it goes away...apparently).
The Times, Caitlin Moran
"Along with Doctor Who and Cardigan Bay and flapjacks, this makes me proud to be British. We're utterly wet and a weed. Hurrah! I like the fact that - without ever talking about it - we all decided we didn't, actually, want to survive the Apocalypse. Because, yes, we'd be alive - but in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, full of buff, shouting American survivalists. The British are only into living so long as it's civilised and pleasant. As soon as we have to poo in a hole and lose reception of BBC4, we're quite happy to become extinct. We are not into all this forceful, effortful, yippy, yappy, living-and-winning-at-any-cost stuff. We don't want ripped, renegade leaders, like Gerard Butler in 300, shouting, “Tonight, we dine in Hell!” We want someone who is, ultimately, very good at accounts, shouting, “Tonight, we dine in the dining room!”
And indeed, wanting a slightly anaemic-looking accountant as leader seems to be the watermark of all peaceful, civilised countries...'"
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Brett Anderson
Friday, August 29, 2008
This is slightly off because I decided I didn't want to eat meat at the age of 6. The last few months I've been "experimenting" eating meat but nothing has had the wow factor yet.
Here's the cut and pasted blurb and then my answers:
1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you've eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.
The VGT Omnivore's Hundred:
1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat's milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald's Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S'mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs' legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake
I doing OK on the booze front - only 1 pint so far. Yesterday, on a night out where I'd usually have consumed around 5 or 6.
Tonight is a test though as a big night out for Alice who's moving to Manchester.
Generally, as not on tour or doing festivals I have consumed a mere portion of what I'd usually do in an average summer.
Life plods on. I had a dream last night that Jan wasn't dead and it was all a big mistake. She appeared from the sea on a blue sailing boat while I was walking along a beach. Her and a friend had just been lost. I awoke to emptiness, a list of mundane tasks and a constant nagging panic just a or two breath away.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Today this here made me very happy. I adore Giles Coren. He makes me smile and sigh whenever I see him on the telly. I'll even happily watch the reruns of those awful Top 50's he did.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Thursday, July 03, 2008
I wash your swollen feet with Glastonbury chalice water, I watch your heartbeat shaking your body, I bite my lip to keep myself connected to the earth, I clean your house as if you're coming home although I know you won't, I try and eat well, I try and remember to breathe. Your son and I, your daughter watch friends pass through whispering their goodbyes, we sit and wait, we sit and wait.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Guardian blog here. As usual with the blogs the comments are the most interesting thing...
Monday, June 16, 2008
Thursday, June 05, 2008
"This is 29, Acacia Road. And this is Eric, the schoolboy who leads an exciting double life. For when Eric eats a banana, an amazing transformation occurs. Eric is Bananaman. Ever alert for the call to action."
"He's the greatest,
He's fantastic,
Wherever there is danger he'll be there!
Hes the ace,
He's amazing,
He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best!
Dangermouse,
Dangermouse,
Dangermouse!"
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
I remember you coming back to live in London and dancing me around the front room.
I remember when you caught me smoking you made me sit on a stool in the shop and smoke the rest of your B&H.
I remember you laughing because I was so scared of the eels in the fish shop down the road.
I remember you buying me the biggest ice cream I've ever seen when we went on holiday.
I remember Grandad, Dash and me hiding those morning choc ices from you.
As you said to me on recent occasions in pure understatement; your dying yesterday is a bit of blow.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Yesterday, I listened to the rehearsals of Haydn's The Creation in Sheffield Cathedral. For those of you who like to know about these things it was the Sheffield Oratorio Chorus and the South Yorkshire Symphony Orchestra conducted by Alan Eost.
Soprano, Elizabeth Watts
Tenor, Joseph Cornwall
Bass, Paul Carey-Jones
Rather enjoyable.
Roger McGough 1937-
not a clean and inbetween
the sheets holywater death
not a famous-last-words
peaceful out of breath death
When I'm 73
and in constant good tumour
may I be mown down at dawn
by a bright red sports car
on my way home
from an allnight party
Or when I'm 91
with silver hair
and sitting in a barber's chair
may rival gangsters
with hamfisted tommyguns
burst in and give me a short back and insides
Or when I'm 104
and banned from the Cavern
may my mistress
catching me in bed with her daughter
and fearing for her son
cut me up into little pieces
and throw away every piece but one
Let me die a young man's death
not a free from sin tiptoe in
candle wax and waning death
not a curtains drawn by angels borne
'what a nice way to go' death
Monday, April 14, 2008
...you may have noticed that I rarely update on personal things. There are numerous factors for this but what's generally going on is this:
Downs
Cancer, Jan's been going through 26 weeks of chemotherapy. It's been very difficult for us all, we're not sure if it's working well enough, it may have spread again but to the bones this time. She'll be scanned soon but until then I hold my breathe and try not to cry.
Ups
Loving my job/s - agency work is really interesting and the freelance stuff is great.
Making new friends in Exeter.
Buying a different house to the previous one I wrote about - we're actually talking about exchanging contracts soon so fingers crossed.
The lovely Joe, keeping me sane and down to earth.
Monday, April 07, 2008
A fantastic debate has just begun on The Guardian blogs:
Lyn Gardner here
Laura Baggaley here
A great Monday inspiring quote to keep me going:
"creative producers are potentially artists' best allies as they combine a highly developed aesthetic with the kind of resourceful, tenacious and innovative behaviour that theatre desperately needs if it is to thrive and flourish." Lyn Gardner
Jolly interesting...plus today a previous favourite tutor of mine suggested that I do a project based producing MA.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Guardian blog here.
Some friends of mine are currently hovering between 3rd (which means yes) and 4th (which means no) for My Fierce Festival. The show is 'Playing The Victim'. If it takes your fancy please vote for it...If not, just vote as it's such an interesting idea.
Website for My Fierce Festival here.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Today I will be mainly reading the "A New Landscape For The Arts"
The taskforce is an independent body and has been set up by the Conservatives to consider arts policy ahead of the next general election.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
"Life is just one big banana. Science fiction allows us all to peel open the reality and discover the yellow truth inside."
Monday, March 17, 2008
More info at The Stage here.
Apparently nothing to do with the recent controversy - they were going to do it anyway.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s --
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Her symbol is the hare. She was a lunar mother-goddess figure associated with fertility and love. She is the goddess of victory, of ravens and of battle. Her colour is red. Her weapon is the sword. Her tarot is death.
She was the Celtic Goddess envoked by Boudicca and the Iceni:
"I thank thee, Andraste, and call upon thee as woman speaking to woman [...] those over whom I rule are Britons, men that know not how to till the soil or ply a trade, but are thoroughly versed in the art of war and hold all things in common, even children and wives, so that the latter possess the same valour as the men. As the queen, then, of such men and of such women, I supplicate and pray thee for victory, preservation of life, and liberty against men insolent, unjust, insatiable, impious" Dio Cassius
"Let us, therefore, go against (the Romans), trusting boldly to good fortune. Let us show them that they are hares and foxes trying to rule over dogs and wolves." When she had finished speaking, she employed a species of divination, letting a hare escape from the fold of her dress; and since it ran on what they considered the auspicious side, the whole multitude shouted with pleasure, and Buduica, raising her hand toward heaven, said: "I thank thee, Andraste, and call upon thee as woman speaking to woman..." Dio Cassius
I go to page 123 of the book I'm currently reading, skip the first five sentences and reveal the following three.
"Wishing to be loved by their child, parents shrink from exposing him to tales which encourage him to think of parents as bad or rejecting. Parents wish to believe that if a child sees them as stepmothers, witches or giants, this has nothing to do with them and how they at moments appear to the child, but is only the result of tales he has heard. These parents hope that if their child is prevented from learning about such figures, he will not see his own parents in this image."
The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales by Bruno Bettelheim
Now I "tag" you to do the same...
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Yep, I know...check out what you are here at this lovely site that I like to frequent.
Steam/Sauna/Spa Bath/Swimming pool: There is nothing better in this world for clearing the mind.
After a restful afternoon I ventured down to Bella Italia for wine, pizza and salad which was very yummy. On returning to the hotel I went into the main hall with a person that I'm working with in Liverpool and tried to sort out our internet problems. We were approached by a gentleman tramp who told us we were beautiful (although I was too big!). He told us was a writer, a poet, a great lover, a undoubtable blagger and he was all in all rather amusing. He left us with a poem and wandered off into the night with his white cider.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
During a day of rushing about and working hard a meeting was delayed by 30mins so I ventured around the corner to the Liverpool Cathedral. A windy day added to the 'heathcliff-ness' of it. It is literally a breathtaking building. It dominates. Large and imposing, you feel pressed down but the weight of it and then you choke with the beauty of the inside. Go see.
I'm going to the Roman Catholic Cathedral this afternoon.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
I remember the time in the early 80's on TOTP when I worshiped Toyah and became sexually awakened by Nick Rhodes of Duran Duran fame (I still tingle a little now - 24 years later). Music, bands have always been important to me. I discovered the Manics one day in Smash Hits. I was so bored by NKOTB and the new Mad-chester baggie scene. I wanted the glamour that first captured my imagination. So, this piece - less than a 1/4 page. A picture of them...eyeliner, leopard skin, pretty boys, the slogan...culture, alienation, boredom and despair. They were on The Word that Friday. At this point I was already hanging around street corners getting drunk so my Dad videoed it for me. Saturday. Hungover. Press play, fast forward. I see them. I play that clip so many times that day that my finger aches from pressing the hard button (remote control? The video was so old it didn't have one). They play R*E*P*E*A*T*. Repeat after me fuck queen and country. Why don't you just FUCK OFF.
My heart in my throat whenever I see them on any front cover. I consume. I destroy. I create. They become my words, how I describe my life, my hatred that I can't vocalise. They use other peoples word - I search and discover a whole new world in my parents respective bookcases. I worship the library. Knowledge is power.
I consider myself to be very lucky to have fallen in love at such a young age. It is love. A torrid, painful affair, I'm often let down by them. I can't listen to some songs because they hurt me so much.
They sing and play songs directly for me. I have a semi-reglious experience while watching James sing - a halo appeared. He was framed and for a moment my heart burst with love.
There have been other affairs, I've not been faithful but there's never been anyone else who hits that spot that they do. I try to "wean" myself off them only to find that I'd booked to see them 4 times last year.
They were and are at every important point of my teenage and adult life. Every key moment can be summed up by a slogan, a lyric, a scream becomes a sigh.
I wore white jeans, leopard skin, drank vodka and orange, smoked Marlboro's. Part of a tribe. I worship at gigs. I discover friends through this band, some of whom are still at my side, some who are not.
Blood and scars tie us together. The first time I saw '4 REAL' I knew I wasn't alone. That there was someone who might understand the rage that I couldn't get out, let out only by the calming slice and scratch of a razor blade, broken glass or safety pin. People misunderstand self harm. It calms, comforts, brings you back to the world. These days I eat sea salt or slice with ice to ground myself.
I still listen to the Manics.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
This year’s Glastonbury could be the last, organiser admits...
more from The Times here.
Jolly well hope so. I've just booked into working a full week at the office so everyone else can go to Glastonbury - hurrah!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
* the performing and visual arts, craft, and fashion * media, film, television, video, and language * museums, artifacts, archives and design * libraries, literature, writing and publishing * the built heritage, architecture, landscape and archaeology * sports events, facilities and development * parks, open spaces, wildlife habitats, water environment and countryside recreation * children's play, playgrounds and play activities * tourism, festivals and attractions * informal leisure pursuits * licensing of alcohol, entertainment and late night refreshment
That's cleared that one up then...
Friday, February 15, 2008
Jan's chemo has shrunk the cancers. Her life expectancy has increased from 6/8 months to 5 plus years. I'm happy but still scared about the future.
The house has fallen through (as it was literally about to do itself!). Still on the search for another one but have decided that central Exeter is a good option as we can just 'pop out' for fun fuelled evenings.
I'm enjoying the new part time job. A lot. I mean really enjoying it. It's pushing me into unconfident territory but in a good, supportive environment. Nothing more I could ask for really.
I'm cold and tired but each sunny day fills me with the hope of a blooming, warm summer.
I'm missing the Centreparcs weekend and Lornie's hen do due to the other work I'm doing at the moment.
I'm going to the gym 3 x a week.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
It has roundabouts, a ring road and The Lights is a rather nice arts centre.
I'm sure there'll be more to report tomorrow.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
I spent most of last nights episode saying "wow" or "amazing" or "oh my god!". What a programme; David Attenborough just fills the screen with joy and child-like amazement at the world.
Read about it here.
'The organisers have confirmed that they are currently intending to hand out these pegs at all the entry points. Each person with a tent will receive around 10 of the 'potato pegs', which means around a million pegs will be handed out!
After last year's festival a skip was filled full of tent pegs, that have to be removed from the ground for the safety of the cows. Mr Eavis told BBC News that they are "a real problem for the cows." The biodegradable pegs were selected from various prototypes the organisers have tested and are very strong when first used, but if left in the fields will break down over subsequent months.' Read more at Efestivals here.
Potato Pegs...it's not even April 1st yet...
Monday, February 04, 2008
Rhett Butler is a quintessential hero/man/legend...I just can't imagine any Scarlett O'Hara lowering her defenses and wanting to give herself up to Darius.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
A number of positive funding stories from ACE at The Stage.
The organisation that I used to work for ISAN has also had an increase....
Nicholas Hytner, director of the National Theatre has attacked the Arts Council of England saying that it has lost its way and spent too much time producing "glossy brochures that are, bluntly, bollocks". He added "They don't just invent boll***s, they live the boll***s".
What a lovely response to the news that 1 in 5 cultural organisations funding has been/will be cut by ACE.
Sir Brian McMaster’s policy review Supporting Excellence in the Arts states.
- that the board of every cultural organisation should contain at least two artists and or practitioners,
- that all publicly funded cultural organisations remove admission charges for everyone for one week each year to address the endemic ‘it’s not for me’ syndrome, and
- that the ten most innovative cultural companies receive ten-year funding packages to support their ambition.
Remove admission charges...a comparable thing I've seen is a great reduction in the West End ticket costs with Kids Week. It doesn't work in the way that McMaster envisions; the theatres are just filled with pushy mothers and stage school brats. They are the people that the shows are already reaching. Cinemas used to do it with a free weekend - they are just filled with cinema geeks. If there was a free cultural week, of course I'd go but I'm already going...
Oh, alright I'll give him this one to a degree but only if the list only includes nationwide representatives from every fundable sector - i.e. only one orchestra, only one opera, only one ballet....plus they tour to every UK town possible and offer free tickets to local schools for a number of performances. Also a majority of the organisations shouldn't be from London.
The Guardian response here
The Times response here
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
I've eaten out every evening since last Wednesday. Tonight, I will cook a healthy dinner with something green as I'm now feeling like a weird food experiment...today's lunch is a slim-a-soup, ryvita and an apple.
I went to a preview of Sweeney Todd last night. There are flaws a plenty but it was an enjoyable film nevertheless. I mean, where else can a girl fulfill her fetish of Johnny Depp being splattered with blood while singing Sondheim?
Monday, January 14, 2008
Life in the recent months has been played out at extremes. The ups and downs are roller coaster like and I have an almost constant about to *vomit in my hand* feeling.
Downs
- My mum has terminal cancer. There are no words I can use to explain how I feel. I do hate the word terminal...
- I've had a miscarriage. Yes, they are common. Yes, it was a "silly" time to get pregnant. It doesn't stop the doom laden thoughts about a future of miscarriages and an inability to have children.
- The weather. The cold, driving rain. Great when you have a warm, cosy home and hot chocolate to get back to.
- The lack of heating in our rented flat. It is beautiful but goddamn it's cold.
- The lack of a decent shower. Mornings are good when you wake up with a hot, enlivening shower. The shower dribbles and is scorching or freezing. I hate it. It is evil.
- A lovely new job with lovely people. 3 days a week so I have time for the freelance stuff too.
- We've bought a house on the same road as Lornie and Will. A 4 bedroom Edwardian end of terrace that we can (hopefully) grow a family in. It has a good sized garden and there are plans afoot for vegetables a plenty. Fingers crossed we should have the keys by February.
- Egypt cruise (Nile and then El Gouna) booked for December '08.